Funny stoned conversations with parents?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by roshiee, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. When i was really young i would go to my friends house after school and we would go into the woods and smoke then go back to his house and grab munchies and game or watch some funny shit and my mom picked me up one day and says

    "Oh wow you really smell like the woods"
    Me: yup i sure do
    Mom: what were you doing in the woods?
    Me:climbing trees...

    Then another time she came down to the basement 5 mins after i smoked a bowl

    Mom: smells really weird down here
    Me: really?!? Like what? *already forgot that i just smoked weed down there*

    Mom: not sure, like a skunk or something
    Me: damn, don't know what it could be....

    She eventually Figured out what weed smells like so that shit don't fly no more
     
  2. Now i gotta hide it from my kids. I go out to the barn n blaze n come back in n my daughter starts questioning me n i end up going back out to the barn till she falls asleep. Its just not fair....ehen i was young i had to hide it from my mom n now that i own my own property i gotta hide it from my daughter I'll never win!!!

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  3. Not my parents but my cousin.

    so my two cousins and I were chilling tonight and were playing spade and taking shots of wild turkey whenever a spade was played, and we're sparking up a J.

    -downs the last of her shot-
    Her: my nigga... You know how everything is solid?

    *At this point she's talking in the background and my other cousin starts doing sign language to me and he says "for every 90 seconds she holds the J, we gotta take a shot"

    Now.. knowing my cousin.. she will hold on to that shit like the lady in the intro to Columbia Pictures. So I'm thinking I'll just let 3 full shots go by and then tell her to pass the J. But then my cousin says "but we can't say anything about passing the J, ima roll up another one so we could smoke and listen to this bitch"

    Her: is yah listening? What is yah laughing about?

    Him: nah what you had said?

    Her: like.. everything is solid. Like. We can't control that like the way we could control liquid. Like when you go to the sink and turn on the fawcent and liquid comes out, the mahchanics it takes to do that.. it wouldn't happen if it wasn't for us, like we control what comes out that fawcent. And then like.. gas.. like gas is the only thing I don't understand cuz like.. that shit comes outta nowhere.. like where does gas begin? Like we know liquid comes from water which comes from the ocean.. but what about gas? Thats the only thing mankind has to build to control cuz it's mystic , we can't control it, like when we have to fart it just comes out, that's that gas my niggas real shit no pun but for real it's like God type shit. Like in the Bible...

    *At this point I'm 20,000 shots deep and I need water before I die of alcohol poisoning, so I'm like "yo I'm bouta go get some water, yah want anything from the "fawcent"? Some kind of liquid maybe?"

    Him: lol yo grab my shrimp box in the fridge and warm it up for me.

    Her: the microwave is like... My nigga remember when we was watching the news about that mom that looked like slim jims after you burn it with a lighter? *she didn't say that but that's what she was getting at*

    Me: tan mom, right?

    Her: yeah her, that bed she had used?

    Me: the tanning bed, yeah.

    Her: yeah, that's the same thing that a microwave uses, radioactive.

    Me: what the fuck are you even talking about yo? Lol you've made so many confusing points, I don't even know what to believe anymore.
     
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  4. LMAO YOUR COUSIN IS A DUMB FUCK!
     
  5. So I was 16 an just spent all day at a music festival.


    It was the mid 90's so probably a bunch of grunge bands. I really don't remember.


    Anyways, I get home and I had been toking all friggin day. I mean I was baked.


    Well, my mom, who grew up in the late 60's / early 70's and was no square, knew I was high, but didn't really say much. She just kept looking at me with that "boy I know what you were doing" look.


    She starts asking me a whole bunch of questions about the concert. Nothing to intrusive, but like I said, I had been toking all day and wasn't really ready for this.


    Then she hits me with "so how fucking high are you right now."


    I didn't know what to do or say.


    She knew I smoked. Caught me enough times. Hell she used to steal my bud, ground me, then smoke the shit herself.


    I got really antsy and starting wringing my hands and grabbing my knees. Then I take off my ball cap.


    My moms eyes get as wide as saucers. She just looks at me and says "you can't be that stupid."


    I have no idea what she is talking about. I know she knows I'm high, but why is she calling me stupid? That's not her normal way of scolding me?


    We sit there for a few minutes not saying a word. She starts laughing hysterically.


    Now I'm wondering if she is high.


    "What's on your head dummy."


    I touch my head and a baggie with maybe a gram of bud falls into my lap. Apparently I got so high I stashed it under my hat...then forgot...then took off my hat while having a "conversation" with my mom.


    She's was wrong. Apparently I could be that stupid.


    She still busts my balls about that almost 20 years later.


     
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  6. My aunt is very religious and on her wedding it was at a church. I was so baked at the time lol I feel so bad because everyone there could tell me and my friend were baked as shit. My parents were asking me why my eyes were red I said " I fell outside and started crying"


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  7. I started putting my weed in my gun safe cause my kids caught and started stealing it cause one it was free to them and two I always had the best weed. I have smoked with my son but he was 21 at the time.


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  8. how many sons do you have ?
     
  9. From back in my hay day. I NEVER smoked around my dad or even when he was awake but this one time I decided to go get baked came back home and I just was like hey what's up he didn't really say anything cuz he was watching TV or something and I remember there was a fan on which is important to the story. So anyways I go straight to the kitchen for a peanut butter and jelly and I'm so baked I don't even see the peanut butter
    Me "dad where's the peanut butter?"
    Him "it's right there in the cabinet"
    Me "I don't even see it..."
    Him "you're looking bwhau meoahd bwhau"
    At this point I'm losing it the fan is distorting his voice so I can't understand what he's saying and I just cannot stop laughing then he says
    And I heard this loud and clear
    "You need to quit smoking that dope boy"
    Me "what are you talking about"
    Him "I'm just messing with you"
    Me "oh."
    Then I went in my room and watched Friday.
     
  10. One and I have a daughter.


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  11. So I was at my friend's house stoned at around 11 PM.


    I called my dad and this is what happened:


    Dad: Hello?

    Me: Hey.


    ... (awkward pause) ...


    Dad: What did you want?
    Me: OH, I'm ready to be picked up now.
    Dad: Where are you?
    Me: I'm at my friends house can you pick me up?
    Dad: Yes, but I know to know where you are?
    Me: Okay thanks. <hangs up>


    So shortly after I realize how stupid I was and call my dad back:


    Dad: Where are you?

    Me: I have a drive so don't worry.
    Dad: You have a what?
    Me: A drive...er... to get home.
    Me: Bye. <hangs up>


    I didn't "have a drive" home and I walked home that night. :(
    There's more to this story but I don't feel like writing the rest. :eek:
     

  12. 'Ma u driving
    What your too stoned
    Try to be Im always high

    Parents had put everything on garage table before, there divorced tried having some upcoming came home they said
    What is this
    Something u both familiar to
    Told me cant do in house etc respected
    They said I was irate potheads usually not like this
    Outcome gave everything back pop asked 'realistically, what would hpn after ? Nothing would change
    Ha he passed everything bk
    Appreciate pop
     


  13. wat nigga
     
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  14. Hood talk? Took me 3 reads to semi understand it
     
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  15. Bruh no one can understand this
     
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  16. #4819 Kush44, May 4, 2016
    Last edited: May 4, 2016
    Okay so this is my first post, I decided I had to make an account cuz this thread had me laughing my ass off. I have tons of funny stories while stoned, I have to share at least one.

    ~ this isn't a convo with parents but it's a funny story~

    So I'm with a couple of my good friends and we decide to go rip my brand new bong (I had also just bought some super dank bud as well). We pack a few bowls until we are just sitting in his car baked out of our minds.

    Friend 1: Bro we should go to Tacooooo bellllllllllll
    Friend 2 and me: holy fuck yes

    So we get to Taco Bell and all of our eyes are as red as satans dick so we decide to go through the drive thru (worst idea ever). We get up to order and this is how it went;

    Worker: hello how may I help you today?
    Friend 1: hey uhhh do you guys have that quesolupa thing
    *everyone in the car starts shitting themselves*
    Worker: a what?
    Friend 1: a quesolu- *starts laughing uncontrollably again*
    (At this point nobody can even talk or order we are laughing so hard and we hear the worker start chuckling because he knows we are baked)
    Worker: *laughing* a quesolupa?
    Friend 1: yesssss with a taco 12 pack and two Cinnabon 12 packs
    Worker: okay sir that is going to be *some total around $15*

    So we pull up to the window and everyone is scrambling for money. I was fried and didn't know what I was doing so I give my friend driving a $5 bill and he hands it to the guy. We realize what we just did and start freaking out because we gave him $5 for a $15 meal. The guy opens the window and hands back $7. We look at each other and start laughing histarically and drive to the next window to get our food. We pull up and see the manager running around yelling in the back about how someone got the wrong order. The lady then opens the window and hands us our food while talking to the manager so my friend snatches the food
    My friend tosses me the food in the back and drove out of there as fast as he could LOL free food! :smoke:
     
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  17. So I'm in the bath and my mother is in her room in bed reading her book...
    Me: Mum!
    Mother: what?
    Me: The ceiling is leaking again!
    Mother: Is it the rain?
    Me: Yes it's ridiculous
    Me: I used to like rain
    Me: But now it's pissing me off
    Mother: *silence*
    Me: Mum?
    Mother: Yeah?
    Me: Do you like Lord of the rings?
    Me: Squid, I'm reading my book. You know I like Lord of the rings. Stop talking.
     
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