Funny stoned conversations with parents?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by roshiee, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. I take a big ol ripper an blow in their face...then I smoke 10 blunts to the face and then yell at my parents and demand chips and pie.
  2. #4782 HookahSmokingCaterpillar, Oct 22, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2015
    it was one of the first times i got really high, I'd smoked a joint at around 1pm, got really high, then smoked another at 4-4:30pm, then I came home for 6 to have dinner with my parents which was a dumb fkin idea
    My parents would have been mad af if they knew i was high, and I was really high the whole meal... but I honestly think I came off normal but I remember thinking my mum and dad were straight up staring at my eyes
    Anyway, I somehow managed to seem normal until the very end of the meal when I was about to leave the table, the conversation went something like this:
    Mum: "Did you write about seeing spanish films on your personal statement"
    Me: *bursts out laughing uncontrollably* The only spanish film I've ever seen is... ANCHORMAN! *more laughing* Because its set in... SPAIN DIEGO!
    To this day I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, but I sort of managed to pass it off as a brain fart? Idk, I'm pretty sure they didn't know I was high because they never mentioned it. The 15 minute meal felt like about 2 hours and I remember desperately trying not to give either my mum or dad eye contact the entire meal lol
  3. Sometimes I try to do things and it just doesn't work out the way I wanted to.
    I get real frustrated and I try hard to do it and I take my time and it doesn't work out the way I wanted to.
    It's like I concentrate real hard and it doesn't work out.
    Everything I do and everything I try never turns out.
    It's like I need time to figure these things out.
    But there's always someone there going.

    Hey Mike:
    You know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately.
    You know, maybe you should get away and maybe you should talk about it, maybe you'll feel a lot better

    And I go:
    No it's okay, you know I'll figure it out, just leave me alone I'll figure it out.
    You know I'll just work by myself.

    And they go:
    Well you know if you want to talk about it I'll be here you know and you'll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it.

    And I go:
    No I don't want to I'm okay, I'll figure it out myself and they just keep bugging me and they just keep bugging me and it builds up inside and it builds up inside.

    So you're gonna be institutionalized
    You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
    You won't have any say
    They'll brainwash you until you see their way.

    I'm not crazy - in an institution
    You're the one who's crazy - in an institution
    You're driving me crazy - in an institution
    They stuck me in an institution
    Said it was the only solution
    To give me the needed professional help
    To protect me from the enemy -- myself.

    I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything
    But then again I was thinking about nothing
    And then my mom came in and I didn't even know she was there she called my name
    And I didn't even hear it, and then she started screaming: MIKE! MIKE!
    And I go:
    What, what's the matter?
    And she goes:
    What's the matter with you?
    I go:
    There's nothing wrong mom.
    And she goes:
    Don't tell me that, you're on drugs!
    And I go:
    No mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi.
    And she goes:
    NO you're on drugs!
    I go:
    Mom I'm okay, I'm just thinking.
    She goes:
    No you're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!
    I go:
    Mom just give me a Pepsi, please
    All I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me
    All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me.
    Just a Pepsi.

    They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
    Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
    Drug you up because they're lazy
    It's too much work to help a crazy

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  4. One time I came home and about 4 hours of smoking and I was shredded to pieces. I came home and around 1 in the morning and my parents were still up. My heart sank when I saw the light on from outside. Eventually I worked enough courage to go inside. When I did I just went straight to my room without saying anything. About 5 min later my mom comes in my room and asked whats up and why I didn't say anything when i came in and I replied "i have to fix my desk" hoping that it could kind of set apart her from seeing my eyes because they were red as fuck. She replies "what?" And not even 3 seconds went by and got down and started to "fix" my desk and she said "come here." And she saw my eyes and proceeded to laugh and then walk away. The next morning she didn't mention a thing.
  5. 'why do you smell like pot?'
    "It's my birthday."
  6. So I get b day money from my parents every year from the states and my grandma gives me the money in Canadian dollars so yeah she gives me like 120 plus 20 because she's nice lol and it goes like this:
    Grandma: here you go, and here's 20 extra
    Me: aw thanks gma
    Grandma: now don't go out and spend it all on candy and marijuana
    Me: ok
    Grandma: you don't spend your money on marijuana right?
    Me: no
    Grandma: buy yourself some clothes
    Me: I'll see thanks
    Hahaha idk how she doesn't clue in I burn incense all the time lol she just gives me my privacy and I appreciate that so much.. I can be stoned outta my mind and have a convo with her and she suspects nothing!
  7. Suicidal Tendencies rule
  8. A little more scary than funny, but . . .

    So I was determined to not get caught smoking this summer, and so instead of smoking inside my room, I would go outside and smoke in my backyard. This worked perfectly when no one was home, since there was no smell, etc. and all I had to do was make sure I was done before anyone came home. When someone was home, it kind of worked, but I would have to either go behind my shed to this little garden with a chair and a table, or in this little fenced off section next to my shed where my parents keep yard tools etc. Both places are good for making sure no one sees you, but the unfortunate reverse of that is that you can't see anyone either.

    So it was a summer evening, around 6 or 7, and it was still at the point where it was getting dark pretty late. My mom was home, but I think she had been watching TV or taking a nap, so I took my medium-sized acrylic bubbler and a notebook (to draw in) outside and started smoking at the little table behind my shed. I was out there for about an hour, and the sun had set so it was getting progressively darker, and I was more baked than I had been in a while. I had been wearing really baggy sweatpants (like the crotch was about 5 inches below where it should have been) and a short sweatshirt that barely went down to the waistband of the pants. It was mosquito-y enough that I decided to head back in.

    What I usually did when walking back in with my bubbler (and I'm so glad I did it now), was tuck it in to my pants so that the circular base was above my waistband (kind of "hooked on") and the rest was hidden in the crotch of my sweatpants. It worked pretty well, but I had to kind of hunch over so my sweatshirt covered the base, and make sure it didn't look like I had a weird bulge in my pants (unluckily I do not have a dick I can make excuses with). So I walk into my house, and my mom is standing there in the kitchen.

    Mom: Where were you?
    Me: Outside drawing.
    Mom: *comes over and smells me* You smell like pot. Let me smell your breath. *I open my mouth without breathing*
    Me: I was just drawing!

    So she has me sit down to "talk" with her, and I don't remember how long she talked to me, but it must have been about an hour or so, and I'm sitting with a bubbler uncomfortably between my legs, hoping that she won't notice. It was probably the most stressful hour of my life. I had wanted to just go to my room to put it away, but I was too paranoid that she'd see, so I just sat there for like an hour, squeezing a piece of plastic between my legs. Luckily, she never noticed though, and I still have the bubbler today.

  9. so I'd just smoked a nice fatty and the munchies hit pretty hard but lucky for me there was this oh so delicious burger just waiting for me, which just went down beautifully. So I'm done with my food and I have this polystyrene container that I have to throw away so I go into the kitchen and my dad is there and I panick, paranoia at a maximum and my stupid brain stops working so I go over to the sink and start washing the polystyrene thingy and half way through realise what I'm doing but it was too late. Now my dad either knows I'm smoking way too much weed or he thinks I'm retarded. Great.
  10. this is so awesome.
  11. #4791 riceboy, Nov 2, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 2, 2015
    a couple of days ago I smoked a joint and a couple hits off a friends blunt. all I can say is that the weed was pretty dank and I was faded when I got home. when I opened the door, I saw my mom and my dad, and made eye contact with my eyes that were redder than the blood moon. i said hey etc and then I went in my room and put my stash away. I come out and sit on the couch in the living room, and then it begins with my mom coming and sitting next to me

    mom: were you crying?
    me: no, how come?
    mom: did your girlfriend break up with you?
    me: what girlfriend?

    my parents said something to each other as I was in my room and I felt sketched out because I thought that I was gonna be caught haha! I don't have a girlfriend but I thought it was pretty funny that they thought I did.
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  12. One of the funniest moments I can remember was a conversation I had with my mom the summer I started smoking. I came home from a smoke session with my friends and at the time I was playing through a bunch of zelda games. I had a serious case of munchies, and my mom comes in telling me about all the food she cooked while I was gone. I sat there for 5 minutes while she went on about tacos, lasagna, and chocolate cake. Finally she asked if I'd like some tacos and i screamed "OMG YES PLEASE MOM" like i hadny eaten in years and she was like "...well alrighty".

    That was a damn good meal too.
  13. I was high as fuck after smoking a bowl in my room, so I remember going out to the kitchen and getting myself an orange and I sat down on the couch. My mom comes home and she sees me eating something so she asks me
    Mom: what are you eating?
    Me: a banana.
    Mom: oh.
    *she walks up to me and sees me eating an orange*
    Mom: ???
    Me: *realizes what I said and bursts out laughing*
    Mom; stop smoking so much.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. See I say shit like this even when I'm not stoned so no one suspects a thing when I'm high.
  15. Same thing happened to me after I ate a brownie, was still fucked up the next day and when I got up my mom asks what I want for breakfast. I just stared at her for a minute before going "....I had cereal." Then she starts offering to make stuff and I'm like sure fine, but she keeps going on like "oh how bout some hashbrowns? any eggs? what about sausage?" Im like:

  16. I was pretty stoned and I went up to my mom and asked her to drive me to the7/11 to get me some soda. I had been drinking water that whole week and I was craving some Sprite lol, she asked me why and my response was , "I'm tired of smoking water."

    She never drove me to the 7/11.
  17. Everything on this thread is hella funny!
    I remember smoking 4 joints up in our attic,I was going to my room downstairs then i saw my aunt
    here is our conversation:
    *me going down the stairs trying not to laugh and be serious

    aunt:are you high again?
    me:*burst into laughter* FUCK YEAH HAHAHAHAHA!

    that was all
  18. I was smoking pot out of a selfmade bong over at the house of my neighbour. We stood next to the window so that the room wouldn't smell of weed. Suddenly his mom entered the room. I had to hide the Bong outside the window. Luckily the window had some kind of railing so it wasn't that suspicious. So i leant against the railing with one arm holding the bong out of the window.

    Mom:" What are you doing?"
    Me:"We are watching Star Wars" (TV wasn't even powered)
    Friend:"Yeah it's nearly over."
    *Mom laughing*
    Mom:" But why are you standing next to the window?"
    Me":" We want to breathe some fresh air."
    That was the point were I almost wanted to drop the Bong cause i thought she would notice it otherwise
    *Mom laughing again*
    Mom:" Whatever, but try to be quiet I want to sleep."

    We really thought she wasn't able to notice that we are high af.

  19. So I used to work at a pizza place when I was 16 and on Saturdays we used to all get high and go to Perkins after and one time i tried to order bar-bell-q lmfao

    I was trying to say root beer but I was staring the the BBQ bottle
  20. I

    I thought that said Pizza Planet from Toy Story lol and Perkins is the place to go.

    I took a girl to a Christmas Concert with me that my friend was playing in

    . Also happened that my parents went to the concert and they somehow found me after while I was looking for my friend. I hadn't yet come out to my dad and my step mom knew I was taking this girl I liked to a concert, so I was super scard my dad would realize how much I liked the girl lol and it ended up being completely fine. The girl said I was completely normal except I wouldn;t stop looking around the room every time they aske me a quiestion.


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