Funny shit your dealer says?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Tokeandontchoke, Jan 22, 2013.

  1. What's some funny shit your dealers say? Here's a few mine says.

    My old dealer~ "No dude, it's a dub...trust me"

    " Be there in 15 mins.." (2hrs later) " ight, I'm leavin my place now.."

    My new dealer~ " this shit right here *****, this shit right here *****, this some great bud!"

    "No, I don't fucking accept trident layers".
     
  2. 2nd to last one is definitely just a variation on a Katt Williams quote
     
  3. Is your dealer katt williams?
     
  4. I remember one time my boy who was also my main dealer at the time came over to drop off a quarter, and he chills for a bit to smoke like usual. Well we start playing GTA 4 for a while and are talking about drift star cars, because the one he was driving in the game looked a lot like one.

    As he's speeding up to a turn, he drifts it, and the camera just automatically goes in slomo for at least 2 minutes, as some sort of glitch. After a whole minute of just watching it like :confused: in silence, he blurts out, "I'm so drift star they gave me the slomo". I couldn't stop laughing
     
  5. Me
    "why do you have a burnt spoon......."
    dealer
    "I like to heat resin on it"

    *sets big 4 gram ball of resin on the spoon*

    another one was

    "I saw you last night, comeing out of the store and you said hi to me"
     
  6. "How much you trying to get?"

    Gets me every time
     
  7. "*****h this shit is the fucking realest ass shit cuz"

    When he drove away. I started changing my mind about paying attention in school -_-
     
  8. Me: Hey bro; I need to order some t-shirts.

    Dealer: How many you need to order? Ill see if I have enough in stock.

    Me; oh about (insert number) t-shirts.

    Dealer: Oh yea man, for sure. 100% cotton. Swing by and pick em up, it's gonna cost you blank $$


    Just bs, but me and my dealer are close friends so we like to F*** around.
     
  9. "it's exotic" makes me laugh every single time!
     
  10. "I got you pot ice cream from the club"
     
  11. Yo, I got straight fire , how much u wanna cop
     
  12. uhh... heres your weed fag, gimme your fuckin money already...
     
  13. my old dealer always used say 'take it easy' while closing his door, every kid in the area used to pick up from him, he would say same thing every time.

    one dealer i met in this club once texts me a lot saying stuff like.. 'silver haze fat 8ths no less' and 'm.d 40 c 50 weed 20, top notch! ring ring'
     
  14. Dont people usually say it's 3.5 buts actually 3? "Nah man 3.5 till I die!"
     
  15. My dealers have always been friends of mine who start dealing so I've never hade to stress in finding one cause I'm normally already hanging out with them when I want to buy some

    It's funny though because I would call them and we would just talk shit to eachother debating the prices for minutes at a time. It was always a fun conversation when negotiating prices
     
  16. "it's some dank shit"

    yeah, well i wouldn't be coming by if it was anything less
     
  17. One of my fallback dealers is such a goon. He dropped out of high school a week before graduation so he could "hustle". This kid has never picked up over a half pound and is a pathetic excuse for a dealer, haha.

    Anyways, a few years ago when he had just began flipping quarter oz's and shit [haha] he thought it was appealing to send out mass texts such as "skunky ass smellies 30/60hmu" or "crusty booger bud 30/60hmu".

    It was pretty hilarious haha, my friends and I still joke around about it. :rolleyes:
     
  18. We used to meet our dealer in a car, he walked up to the car one day and said 'give me the money' with his white pearly teeth shinning in my eyes (just for reference he's black)
     

  19. [​IMG]
    ''GIVE ME DA MONEEEYYYYY''
     
  20. Had a dealer who called everybody ''son'', didn't matter if you were a customer, supplier or a cop, so after a while we started calling him ''dad''. :D
     

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