A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient." Anyone got any funny pun kind of stuff? Pictures? anything?
a rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender says "sorry mate, we don't serve ropes here." so the rope gets mad, walks outside, twists himself up into a knot and messes up his hair. he goes back into the bar, sits down and orders a drink. the bartender says "hey...aren't you a rope?" the rope replies "nope, i'm a frayed knot."
The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize. Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction. How did I escape Iraq? Iran. If Apple made a car, would it have Windows? These funny puns taken from PunsVille
A man walks into a psychiatrist office, shouting "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. The doctor looks at him and says, "Relax, you're too tense".
A three legged dog walks into a cowboy saloon and tells the bartender, "I'm a looking fer the man who shot my pa".
A pirate walks into a bar, he has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says to him, "I notice you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants." The pirate replies, "Argh, it's drivin' me nuts"