So freshmen year I was dating a girl who was in my class and who's mother was my 6th grade teacher. One day when my girlfriend (well call her Katie) and I were in her basement watching movie, me being the amazing freshmen boyfriend I was sat with her and here mother watching the notebook... After about 30 minutes her mother went upstairs to cook dinner/ work/ do something else it doesn't matter she went upstairs I can't remember; so now it was just us 2 pubescent lovebirds in a basement alone.... You can imagine where this could go, after about 15 minutes of passionate kissing we stopped and I was pretty confused! I asked her why she'd stopped and she told me that she wanted to try something new, I advised that we wait like at least until we're alone because her mother was still upstairs. She persisted and said she wanted to so being the horny kid I was I could only deny this offer once!! Well the act commenced and I was on a different level, I was laid down on the couch with my eyes rolled back feeling the intense connection that only someone who'd waited so long for this could feel when out of nowhere I felt a tap on my shoulder.......... Yes my friends a tap..... Mind you that Katie is down under with my Joey out of his pouch and she's sucking the venom out of me like I was bit by a snake (sorry I'm high and watching Steve Erwin)...... So I proceed to look to my right and see her mother (and my 6th grade teacher) with a face that looked as pissed as anyone I've seen looked pissed before, she put her hands to her hips and said "Katie what in the hell are you doing?'" Katie looked up, and no lie, with my Hebrew National in her mouth said "Noughing" and grabbed a pillow and smacked my fresh blue balls to cover me up.... Thanks.... So after the terror that set in to both of us went away we walked upstairs and her mother took me home and told my parents what happened, their reply was "should we give them condemns?" Priceless
LOL this is one of those I wish would have happened to me.. I never get caught, but I find akward moments extremely hilarious.
Back in high school every term or so me and 10-15 friends would go down to my ex's farm and just chill out there with the cows, smoking constantly, it was pretty great. Anyway so we're all lying in this massive bed we set up outside and my best mate is next to me with his girl and they start hooking up like there's no tomorrow (keep in mind we were around 14). It was the funniest thing I've heard and they started dry humping and they both started moaning after a while and we didn't know if they were fucking or not. Anyway after things calm down I'm just chilling in the bed again and my mate turns to me and says "you were amazing" in his most seductive voice and before I realize what's happening he starts kissing me, tongue and all. And that is the story of my first kiss. Pretty sad. And I know this isn't funny but I just got the ball rolling and I can't stop. I had a party a few years later, would've been one of the best parties I'd had if I didn't hear someone fuck my girl in my bed. That didn't end very well. Woops off topic.
Sorry for the lack of information following through, but earlier I did mention that "my mate" was a male as I referred to "his girl" or whatnot, but yeah I didn't clarify, sorry.
Went over this girls house freshman year at about 9 PM, and she said her parents weren't going to be home until midnight. I had known her since like 5th grade and we dated a little bit before, so we started kissing, and that led to other things. So I'm in the middle of pounding her and I see lights in the driveway and hear a car door open and close. I get all my clothes and sprint to a closet. It was about 9:45 or something at this point. I waited in that fucking closet until 12:30 for her parents to to to bed. Crazy shit Know weed, know peace. No weed, no peace.
This is funny in a terrible sort of awful kind of way. When i was in 8th grade my parents friends had a daughter i would always hangout with. We both liked each other forever but we were too shy. So i made out with her finally when i was like 13. So we are hanging out a couple months later and decide to drink. My parents never hid their alcohol or anything and we had drank last time we were with each other. So she says shes gonna drink as much as i do, all competitively. We both do 3 or 4 shots of peppermint schnapps and go downstairs to watch a movie. We're laying there and im kind of like rubbing her side, i start wondering what shes doing and it seemed like she fell asleep. Then a huge amount of vomit just drains out of her mouth, theres chunks of shrimp and its just straight nasty. I wake her up and shes so wasted, she asks if she threw up, i told her yeah, and got her into the shower. Explaining it to my mom was incredibly awkward, good times eh.
at the time this scared me but looking back i guess its funny. i was kissing this girl i didnt know too well at a party and was hoping to go further. as im kissing her though at one point this bitch fuckin pulled back and kind of laughed in a weird way and then i look and her eyes are rolling back like the fuckin excorcist. im like what the fuck and just straight dipped
She was actually a dementor and now you have no soul because she sucked it out. Sorry for the bad news bro.
This isn't really a hook-up but its pretty funny.. I was into this girl, and it was Her, a bunch of my friends, some other girls and what not hanging out at the park and were all at the swing just chilling. I'm sitting on the swing and she decides that she wants to do the whole spider swing. (if you don't know what that is its when one person sits on your lap super close to you facing the oppisite way, basically like cowboy position on a swing). Me being the 15 year old that i was pop a huge boner that was just riding up her ass in front of everyone! And yes i was wearing Basketball shorts, so i tell her i have a raging boner and everyone can see it so we stop and she gets off so ofcourse i have to stand up now and i seriously looked like Will Ferrel from Anchorman. Its funny looking back on it.