funny comebacks to parents

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by mhs2011, Jun 25, 2009.

  1. one time i was crashing at my bros place n we got inside after blazing a monster blunt n were chillin in his room then his mom came in n was like "are you guys high?" so we both just fell onto the floor pretending to sleep lol it was sick
     
  2. not a parent but one time in my intro to businnes class i was fried as chicken and my teacher walks over to me in the middle of a lecture and says "you look high" so i said "mind your intro to busines" it was hilarious everyone was laughing :)
     
  3. This was back in the day, it aint anything too special. i just got home and was stoned as fuck.

    Me: *Giggle*
    Mom: i just want you to know that i know, and im very disappointed.
    Me: Mom... (thats all i could say, i had no excuse)
    Mom: Want me to make you some food?
    Me: Yes please.
    Mom: *Proceeds to make a bomb ass meal*
     
  4. Alright so this one is pretty epic, i had been planning to celebrate a bomb ass weekend by blazing this 1/4 of dank up that i had super sealed chillin in my room under some clothes. i call up my boy phil and im like lets do this so i hop in the whip and went to pick him up and so we sparked a J and decided to go pick up food for later (we were gonna need it) so we went thru mcdonalds and got like 10 burgers and a butt ton of fries then we notice a cop sorta following us indirectly and we kinda sketched out so we dipped to the park nearby and started walking and he rolled in. then 5 minutes later rolled out so we waited about 30 minutes blazin and decided to head back to my place cause that shit was sketchy so we get back to my place and i see a cop car outside my house so im like omg he wrote the plate number wtf. we went inside (didnt have shit on us) and when we did hes there talking to mom and pop and they look straight at me and little did i realize this what happened. that 1/4 sac i had had a tear in it that i did not realize. it was little enough for dare say some seeds to perhaps fall thru. so the cop looks at the both of us and asks why there were seeds everywhere.

    YOU DONT SMOKE THE SEEDZZZ ***** :cool:
     
  5. Mom: look I got my tooth whitened can u tell the difference?

    Me: yea cool...so cool.

    Mom: WHY ARE YOUR EYES RED?

    Me: really? They're red??? *runs to mirror*(as red as the devils dick)

    Me: it's that eyeline you gave me...keeps scratching

    Mom: this is bullshit Sarah...don't effin lie to me

    Bro: mum not all cause of red eyes come from doing drugs

    Me: Ye *hella blazed*
    Me: really they're red?? *Runs to mirror*
     



  6. I actually laughed out loud
     
  7. #447 Skeptix, May 9, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    LOL. That's gold.
     
  8. Yeah hooray for parents that let you smoke bud
     
  9. (when i was 17) My mom was kinda cool with me smoking pot, but she KILLED me everytime i drank.

    Mom *texting* -your soo busted. I found your vodka. your going to rehab.

    me- that vodka in my closet is from new years at robbies house, its almost a year old, look at the dust.

    Mom- I was talking about the bottle under your bed, but thank you for the lead.

    me- thats not vodka, thats pimp juice.

    Mom- does pimp juice get you drunk?

    me- uhm...mom really. dont put me in rehab, ill flip.

    Mom- im taking some of your pot too.

    Me- okay just dont smoke my crack. lol

    Mom- lol shut up im still mad at you.
     
  10. #450 Apu42, May 9, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2011
    One time I was at my girlfriends house in her bedroom but her parents didnt know about it and so we were fooling around and her mom knocks on the door. Fast as lightning I rolled off the bed and onto the floor. The door opens and my girlfriends still there in bed with her panties all frazzled around her legs.

    "what are you doing Hannah?"
    "BECAUSE YOU DONT SMOKE THE SEEDS, MOM!"

    It was epic.
     
  11. #451 Bacardi151, May 9, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2011
    One time I was smoking in my room with my friend but I had a bunch of different candles going & my dad texts me
    Dad: Are you burning something in your room?
    Me: Candles
    Dad: Stinks

    & then one time I came home super stoned & I started making some food & my mom sits down at the table and starts talking to me

    Mom: So your friends mom called and said that your friend told her everything, like you smoke pot and blablablablablablablablabla. i dont remember what else she said
    Me: What! That's crazy, that lady is crazy man.
    Mom: *looks at the food I'm about to make* you got the munchies?
    Me: Hahaha oh yea, definitely.
    Mom: You pot head!! haha just kidding, I know that lady is crazy! I know you don't smoke, your eyes aren't red
    & then she went and smelled me & said I didn't smell like smoke
    Me: Yea of course I don't smoke....

    & I WAS HIGH AS SHIT.
     
  12. I was laying in the hammock blaze'n a few years back and my dad came up to me really serious and said i have noticed lately that you have been smoking way to mutch and it worries me that you dont invite me.
     
  13. hahahah lmaao :hello:
     
  14. I was at school, couple years back, I was blazed of my tits and were not supposed to have food at school... It was lunch btw
    Me: dude I can't go another period with out eating. so I launched this fucking expedition to somehow get food into the class, anyways I ended up having like reeses prices in my sock, laffy taffys taped to my arms (which by the way is undisputedly the best munchy on the planet,
    Teacher: John, would you mind coming up to the board and righting your answer for the question down?
    Me: huh yeah sure....... The question was like the easiest algebra question but I just drew a picture of a stick figure dog wearing ray banns, anyways I pretended to yawn and some laffy taffy fell out of my sleeve,
    Teacher: John... You know there's no food in class... Go to the bathroom to throw it out...
    Me: yup. Walks out, doesn't come back. Principle asks me why I'm eating so much and I just say, " wanna smoke some seeds?" XD gotcha there
     
  15. i just walked into my kitchen and put my bowl down on the table right in front of my mom and smiled at her "He's pretty aint he? Names Mr. Giggles :D"

    She got in a hissy fit but calmed down eventually hahah. She's an old stoner...so deep down, I know she doesnt give a fuck.
     
  16. My mom and I got in a huge ass fight.

    Mom: you're a fucking bitch.
    Me: haha
    Mom: son of a bitch! Everythings funny to you?!
    Me: ha nah but you're right I am a son of a bitch :)

    This comeback would have worked perfectly if I wasn't her daughter, but I still thought it was pretty funny
     
  17. #457 MrFireball, May 11, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    Never laughed so hard off of something on the Internet HAHAHAHAXD
     

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