Funniest thing You Overheard SomeOne Say? (Bus, Train etc...)

There is a whole website dovoted to things overheard in New York...

here it is... http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

I'll be back later with a story.

 

"Thug to tourist taking picture: Yeah, bitch, I'm in your picture! I'm in your picture! Put it on MySpace, bitch!

--W 34th & 7th

Overheard by: nisey79"


That would be one of the funniest things to witness while high ever.

 

That was great. That website has some funny shit.

 

Dudes...just imagine this one:

"Guy with Jamaican accent: Women be causin' the men to be committin' adultery. Women be causin' the men to be lustin' after the butt. Women need to put their butt back into their pants. Women, you need to cover your butt, or it will be covered in fire."

...when you're fuckin high. I cannot believe how funny it is. I can't stop laughing. I might die.

 

you change newyork to just about any city, theres one for chicago that i know of, and i'm sure there's more. some pretty funny stuff on those sites.

 

haha I don't think any city could be better than NYC...

Professor: "If any of you are sad about Anna Nicole, see me after class. I'll give you a bitch slap."

--NYU


http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/index-2.html

 

xD this is the best one I found on there

 

I was going to start a thread about this, but I'll just bump this one instead.

Slick, salty shame
Dude: So, you know what makes a great lube? Tears.
Chick: Yeah, they do. Especially in the shower.

 

When I was in the 9th grade, I had a Geometry class with a nervous, quiet, Asian kid with a monotone voice. Everyone was doing in-class work. Totally silent. Then, I hear 'hmm, trees', in a strong, loud, monotone voice.

Yes, just 'Trees'.

Apparently, he was thinking about trees.

It's probably only funny if you were there/knew the guy.

 

Hobo: Look, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not hungry or sick, I just need some money so I can get high, but it's just weed, I don't do heroin or cocaine or any of that shit.
Guy: You know, it's because of guys like you that people think pot should be illegal! Look at you! When I get high, I pay my own way! I earn my own money and get high! There are little kids on this train! What do you think they're going to learn? Man, think a little!

--4 train

Overheard by: Alice S.

 

I can't believe you guys did'nt post this one,really funny shit


Five-year-old boy: Daddy, why is Mommy crying?
Unemotional father: Son, your mother is crying because you are an asshole.

Now thats fuckin comedy,+rep to the OP cause you just made me put this on my favorites.

 

\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tYet Another Reason to See the Pirates Director's Cut \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAngry girl: Your boner does not have super powers.
Dude: Yes, it does!
Angry girl: It won't even point us in the right direction.
Dude: I never said it could do that.
Angry girl: You're no Captain Jack Sparrow.

--W 3rd & Lafayette

Overheard by: danger




HAHA This had me going hahaha



Oh, Wait, That's Meditation

Girl #1: I walked in on my boy masturbating while we where getting ready for sex.
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love masturbating before sex. It's like a free orgasm.
Girl #1: Me, too. It's, like, spiritual in my family.

--4th St & Park Ave

Or this one lmao

 

Alright I heard this at an airport several years ago. There is an old woman pushing an old man in a wheelchair.

Old Woman: Harold, what time do we board our second flight?
Old Man: (mumbles something)
Old Woman: WHAT?? (pretty loud)
Old Man: (YELLS) 12:87
Old Woman: ....what kind of time is that?

You had to see these two, seemingly minutes away from death, walking and talking slower than molasses, and then they let this little gem out. We had to turn and run the other way cause we were just bustin up.

 

I was in Advance Auto Parts buying some junk for my car and this blonde girl came in all flustered, she said:

Girl: "I need a 710 cap right now!"

Employee at AAP: "What is a 710 cap? I don't know what that is."

Girl: "I just need a 710 cap now and I don't know what else it could be."

Employee after staring at her for a second: "Uh...do you mean an OIL cap?!


bitch had it turned upside down and said she needed a 710 cap. classic.

 

lmao, dude try this one on for size..

at U of H there is a rather famous Professor of Chemistry named Dr. Bott.

Quite an interesting dude, he was talking to us on the day of our first quiz in his General Chemistry (freshman level) class.

"Ready for your first quizzy?", he asks all 137 of us.

We all take the rather difficult quiz and we turn it in and as I'm walking out I hear a girl say actually quite loudly, "If that was a quizzy, I'd hate to see his testes."

 

okay imagine a night of jager bombs with friends huge party, at youre boyfriends house, that night you go to bed with you bf...needless to say what comes next. you wake up the next morning and the chick seys " holy shit i let you fuck me up the ass...and i liked it..." " laughter" ...

( this happened to a friend of mine) lol thought that story was great.

xo
candy

 

Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!
Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!

 

That spicy rock one had me rolling for a while. So damn funny.

 

My mom was actually the one that overheard this but it's still kinda funny. Sometimes I like to say random shit from TV shows or whatever. You guys remember that episode of South Park when Stan's Mom holds the cop hostage in the basement? Well, my mom was walking by my room when I said this:

Me: "Sharon......Why did you take his pants off?"

Mom: ".......WHAT?!"