The funniest thing i ever heard was the first night i toked it up with my friends. I couldnt find my keys or nothin (they were hanging around my neck) so my friend started saying how we were gonna have to stay there forever and then somebody else said that he had a Piglet farm over there and we could live in the barn. I laughed so hard I fell over. Then we were driving back and the same Piglet farm guy started yelling because we had the windows open and "all the water is coming into the submarine". We just gave him a 40 and told him to shut up.
Today i said to my friend ' youre hemarroiding, you have hemarroids in your mouth!' this was because he was speaking about brain hemorrages and then started opening his mouth with food inside -- and i forgot what it was so i said hemarroids.
Me and some friends were hangin out in a park one day, totally blazed when somehow our conversation turned to turtles. We were talking about them, and my friend said "dude, the reason they move so slow is because they have those big ass shells" now while he was saying that, I was picturing a frog instead of a turtle, and the moment he was done I said "dude, your an idiot, turtles dont have shells." And that my friends, was one of the funniest things i've said that i can remember
There are many funny things i`ve sad while i`m high...one time whit a friend of mine .....we`re walkin stoned..and i asked her something...but she didn`t answer so i told her ``common answer me..your ears are not talkin at all``I laughfed at this at least 30 minets..
ok this want me but, a good friend fired this one off about 4 years ago. Me and two friends were baked at late night. I know this is rare, but we actually went for taco bell at late night while high (never happens right?). Anyways, we get the bell and come back. So were scarfing it down not saying anything cuase we had too much food in our mouthes. Then my friend says: And for some reason, that was the funniest shit ever. I know it probably doesnt sound funny here but it was fuckin hilarious. We still give him shit to this day for it . Just thought i'd share haha.
RIght before my friend left to go to England she decided she was gonna tell me about some kind of word order or somthing( and we all know how things go when your high and you try to explain) She was talking about Dog-house and things like that, like compound words or somthing anyway. I thought I was catching on so I said "Ok so like a house in a tree is a tree house but the tree house and the main house are just alike because the tree house comes from the main house. And she thought that was the funniest thing, and so i kept talking and I came up with the theory that to move you must move through air lol.
HEY DAD! I KNOW WHAT KFC STANDS FOR!!! COLONELS FRIED CHICKEN!!, dude i was really really stoned! i dont know how he didnt know.