Funniest Public Encounters

None of his damn business why you need eye drops maybe your asses were swollen and only thibg that helps is eye drops dropped directly into asshole, none of his damn concern

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I got a job at the local high school as a calculus and chemistry tutor, and after like the third day of working there I got comfortable enough to wakenbake before work, so I did two bowls off my m420 and got crazy baked. So I get to the school and I'm already all PARANOID and I realize that I forgot my nametag in the car so now I'm asking for attention, and I get it.. The first person who decides to talk to me that morning is the Principle! He asked me what grade I was in, so I said I was a sophomore , Bc I am at my university! He then asked me why I was barely showing up (didn't realize he thought I was a student) and I said I usually show up when I feel like it and started laughing casually and he just looks at me dead in the face and asked me if I wanted to go get suspended for skipping. At that point, I'm beyond confused, and more paranoid since I feel the pressure! I was saved by my student when she came and asked me when I was going to help her...after that, I never saw the principle the same way. He killed my high!


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One time I was headed home with my brother in law after hitting a bong for the first time. I walking in, walking funny and pretty high, and walk up to the counter to a girl that looks my age. I placed my order and I told her I'd be paying with a card. She asked me to store the card and I tried.

The machine looked confusing to me and I couldn't find the sliding slot. She noticed I was confused and asked if I was high. I replied, "...yeah".

Point is, I had her slide it for me and I was on my way

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Not funny per se, but funny to me:
 
One time I was at Chick Fil A stoned as hell and I'm ordering and the cashier tells me the amount so I pull out my wallet and my hands are trembling for some reason, I give her the card..she swipes it.. and when she hands it back I try to reach for it and all of a sudden I freak out and drop the card and stare at her like she's a demon or something(pic related) and I grabbed the card and walked away but I swear she was thinking "lol wtf is wrong with him".
 

 

Yesterday, I was walking into the grocery store and this dude was sitting in a grass median in the parking lot, had his shoes and socks off. As I walked by, he says "want me to eat this?" and first I just said no and kept walking, but curiosity got the better of me. I turned around and asked what it was and he goes "my toenail". I gave a 'wtf laugh' and just said "no dude.. no..". He looked like he was confused by me not wanting him to eat his toenail.. and I am pretty sure he was tripping on something. I'm like a magnet for weird fucking people.

 

This isn't my story but my friend was on a psych unmentionable and he ran out to the beach leaving my other for end and I at the house.

Apparently he ran by a family who kindly said "Hi!" And he responded by making a demonly growl that sounded kind of like "Yaaaggghhhh!" And continued running. Just picturing it makes me laugh

 

I have a million stories from my hs days, but this one just came to mind. It was my junior year.
 
So my hs was split into two buildings. Most freshman/sophomore classes were in the south building, while most jr/sr were in the north building. Well me and my buddy had social studies together in the south building. Due to being surrounded by freshman and sophomores in the halls, we would just hang out in the classroom and dick around.
 
Well we came baked, more times than not, and my teacher was an ex teacher at a juvenile delinquent center (sounds like a total hard ass, but he was my favorite teacher that year). Anyways, towards the end of the year me and my buddy are working on a poster project together with the two hottest ladies in the class. Outlining the poster titles we had these cloud like figures, which made our poster very aesthetic. Anyways our teacher comes to look at our poster and notices the clouds clouds. He looks at the girls and says, "those are some very nice clouds." The girls correct him stating that it was our idea and our teacher quickly rebuttals, "I should have known...they are always in the clouds." We all just start dying.
 
So many great memories in that class.. takes me back to my hs days.

 

Since were talking HS stories I got one that I think about time and time again.
Got baked in the middle of a school day. Came back at lunch high as hell, eyes bloodshot.
 
Next class was English. I think it was grade 11. Background: We had a huge project that was worth like 35% of our final mark. It was a poem, then we had to explain the poem, explain all the poetic symbols and shit in it, and finally...we had this artistic component to the project where we had to design something to symbolize what that poem was about. When I made mine, I didn't know what to do so I just did what my best buddy at the time told me. I stacked like 4 klleenex boxes on top of each other, covered it all in tin foil, and then tied a string from the bottom all the way to the top in a spiral fashion. I really didn't know what the fuck it was supposed to show lol.
 
Anyways back to english class. We get there, take our seats...and my friend whispers "wouldn't it be funny if you had to present today " I'm all like "Lol chillllll shhhhhh". Sure enough, teacher announces were starting presentations that day and to decide who had to present, she pulled names out of a hat. Guess whose name came out. Yup...mine. I get up and my friends are all laughing under their breath cause they know I'll be pure entertainment for them (lol those assholes). I couldn't stop stuttering, my face went all red, I felt everyone's eyes on me and they ALL knew I was high as fuck, and if my teacher didn't know then, she would know for sure by the end. Finished explaining my horrid poem and I had to explain the artistic component now. Well I shit you not, I pulled out my lighter from my pocket and flicked the lighter so the flame was lit. I then said "Now I will explain and demonstrate how my artistic component relates and explains my poem, is it okay to light it on fire Miss?" I said this with a straight face cause I was dead serious on doing it lol! Shes like "No....its okay" I'm like well okay then, took my seat and everyones still laughing. Including me at this point. Then my friend whispers to me "if you end up getting a higher mark then me I'ma be pissed". The next week we got our grades back and I got a 67% or something and the friend ended up getting like a 55% loll. 
 
Ahh man. Good times.

 

This one time I was high as a kite and I was walking through a park well this hot little hippy chick came up to me and asked if I was high I said yes I am she grabbed my hand and drugged me into the bushes. She blew me how strange.

 

One time me and my friends were in this BK and this old couple kept staring at us. Then out of nowhere my friend just says "That bitch has long face". He was also sweating a ton for some reason it was just a funny scene.

 

Not too long ago I went up to a gas station near my house and payed by card, I was baked as a motherfucker, eyes red, all that good good and when I payed for my munchies my card declined. I was freaking out but held my shit together as I tried again. Apparently I selected the wrong account but when I tried it the second time and it worked I got so excited that I tried to hand the lady my card thinking it was hers lmfao. After I did that she just kinda looked at me with this tiny smile on her face and said have a good night :')
 

 

Was at the supermarket stoned, same one that I work at, buying some munchies. Walking around the store heaps casually, when I see my boss working also a stoner, I say hi, and he's like are you stoned? I just started laughing and walked off saying have a good day man! go through the registers, the chick I also know asks if it was cash or card, i reply good and just keep looking at her until I actually realized what she asked! Payed by cash and quickly walked out before I made it more apparent to everyone that I was stoned. Funny times

 

One time I went to am/pm to get some munchies and a blunt. It was the middle of the day and super crowded, probably 10 people in line.

I'm baked as fuck. I reach into my pocket to pull out my wallet to pay and I hear lots of chuckling and snickering going on behind me. I tried to ignore it so I wouldn't get paranoid when suddenly some guy taps my shoulder and says "hey dude, you dropped your stash"

I turn around and see my baggie laying on the floor in plain sight of at least 10 people, soccer moms and everything... they were all just laughing their assess off

All I said while picking it up was "well, that's embarrassing" smiled at everyone, and walked out...

 

Yeah! Eyedrops to the asshole! And suppositories for the eyes!

 

Back in my freshman year if HS I was at some event at the school called Relay for life. It's about people in my town who are fighting cancer.
Majority of the town attends this event. They have food, games, etc. anyways me and 2 friends leave get baked and come back. When we get back the people battling cancer are doing the walk which is where they walk around the track lead by police and military personal. I didn't know what was going on so I walk in the middle of the track just standing there and then I see the police yelling at me to get off lol I felt stupid. Well when I get off the track I run into someone dressed as a clone from Star Wars. He says feeling good? Me being stupid baked, hugged him and ran away laughing. My friends laughed at me all night because of that lol.


Stonerrr

 

I would have whipped out my smart phone and recorded it for you tube. Yeah eat that toe nail!!!