Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Grimace painfully while smacking yourself on the head and say,"Shut up! Shut up! ALL of you just SHUT UP! Offer name tags to everyone who gets on. Wear yours upside down. When arriving at your floor grunt and strain trying to get the doors open. Act embarassed when they open by themselves. Greet everyone with a warm handshake. Ask them to call you Admiral. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"