This is a story of how absolutely pathetic I am. I work in a building with something like 300+ people. I'm one of the IT support staff so I get to see and interact with just about everyone in the building. There is this girl (uh oh here we go) that I just can't get over. I fixed her computer a few times, we've made pleasant chit chat here and there, but it's not like we're friends or anything. Anyway, so I've been wanting to ask her out for a few months now. I haven't really had a good opportunity because I can't exactly go up to her cube, with everyone else around, interrupt her day and ask her out. So i've been waiting for just the right moment when I can catch her in the hall or on a break. So today, satruday, when the building is nearly empty, I'm walking past the elevators. They open and I pause just in case it's her. Well, it was. There was no one else around. All I could think was, "this is it, it's the moment you've been waiting for." But instead I just kept walking. Away from her. I don't even know if she saw me. I feel so foolish. How could I have squandered this opportunity?! So for the past 4 hours all I've done is play over and over the scenario what I should have said, what she might have said, what the fuck is wrong with me. Really the sad thing is I'm way too old to be "afraid" of girls. I'm really just afraid of what happens after I ask her out. The building is a little like high school, rumors and pettiness abound. What if she tells one of her co-workers. I'd never be able to show my face on the floor again. So grasscity, I come to you to comfort me, distract me, tell me to man the fuck up. I feel like an idiot. And she'll never know.
Stop thinking about it. You can play the scene over and over with a million different what if scenarios, but the truth is nothing happened. You put it into your head that this is such a big deal and built up the anxiety because you don't want to mess it up. Truth is man you don't know that much about her, atleast from what it seems like. Here's a what if scenario for you, lets say what if you do ask her out on a date, what if she says yes, what if you pick her up and go to dinner, and what if she turns out to be someone completely different from what you percieved her to be? Let go of all expectations. You barely talk to her so you haven't the slightest idea of who she is. Also not meaning to bag but damn man a few months waiting to make a move? Come on man I know you're better than that! Go get it and get to know her better, then let things fall into place. Its all good man, just let go of it and try next time you see her. Fuck the bullshit rumors, hold your head high and say yeah I asked her out, what's it to you? Don't feel like an idiot, your mind is truly a powerful tool. You can use it to create or destroy, don't destroy yourself. Take control and say well fuck it, I'm at home now what sounds like fun? And go do it
He who hesitates, masturbates. Learn from your mistake and go for it the next time the opportunity presents itself. Perhaps after hours, you could loosen a cable so she would require your services. Do you have access to the switch she connects to? The next time you fix an issue for her, follow up in person a day or so later. Good luck!
Thanks guys. I'm not smoking cause i'm taking the gmats on monday, but I did take a few shots of whiskey and i feel a lot better. Also, your words were EXACTLY what I needed. If this site still had rep I'd shower you in it. As for "breaking" her comp so I can go fix it? I've thought about it, I figure it's too childish, plus what if one of the other techs picks up the ticket. Then I gotta explain to them why I want it and i'll be weird. no tricks, no games, next time I see her I'm asking her out. Yes she could be a complete weirdo. In fact, thats kinda my pattern. I've had two gfs in my life. both of which I liked from afar for a decent amount of time before I asked them out, then it turned out they were definitely not my type. Thanks, I knew I could count on the community.
most normal guys aren't gonna say "ewww you like a girl? that's weird", just let em know that's why you broke the computer and they'll probably understand and support you.
I'm a very private person. I won't even tell my coworkers how old I am or where I live. I definitely don't need them knowing about my romantic intentions.
Theres a difference between being afraid to talk to girls and being afraid of failure dude, if your really interested in exploring your problem you should look into a book (You can get it for free on audible.com, as long as its the first book u order when u sign up) called "The War of Art", its about making art but the concepts explored in it are basically dealing with "Resistance" or the thing you have to overcome to get what you wanna get done. Like i said if your not into writing it MAY be a snooze fest, i have no perspective outside of my own but it explores the feeling of being afraid to fail or just making the effort to start something instead of just thinking about it. This book changed my life, thats why i reccomend it to you
I would suggest your co-workers would think youre more weird by not asking out a hot girl than by asking her out