Full Metal MELEE!!! Highbike Jousting with tapdancing strippers!

That's what I did tonight, i officially topped my record for the craziest thing i ever done on a bike, I entered the melee arena to do battle against unicyclists and tap dancing strippers. Here's how battles went down, two man (or woman) enter, one man leave. it was a joust till dismount then it was full melee with battle clubstill one man standing. After a successful jousting of my first opponent, we did battle till i remained and conquered and vanquished. Next I defeated her in a joust but she eventually tricked me and placed a hit center mass on me and sent me to the arena floor as the crowds screamed bloodlust

 

This bike is what we joust on, not easy to ride, nevermind while carrying a 10 foot pole and doing battle with an opponent on a somilar bike also trying to take you to the ground for the final battle, when both riders are off, our knights assistants replace out jousting poles with battle clubs and the fight to the finish begins!

 

Like i said, two enter, one leave.

Here two warriors do battle in shining duct tape armor with the mighty war hammer, the deadly blow as dealt shorly after this pic. Check out the dude in the background, can we say mad max?

 

In every battle there is one who will rise victrious. this is not her. Unfoutunately she was slain in battle by the victor who is seen from the duct tape armor down to the right of where our fallen heroine's limp battered body was dragged and stacked.

She fought well against a mighty opponent.

 

If there is one thing that should be the end all definition of badass it's a fire breathing dragon chopper!!!

 

Well, with all the death and carnage in the arena, did we incur the wrath of law enforcement for the bloodbath? nope, the cops rolled right by, and what of our fallen and defeated tapdancing stripper? shorly after her defeat she returned from the afterworls when she summoned the fire element and rose to prove her immortality.

 

This is what we do for fun, and this is the park outside my apartment where i usually ride trials. The man resopsible for hosting this event is shown below as his assistants don his lightweight polymer armor, preapring to do battle,held on with a generous wrapping of tape.

 

Yes, all this happened tonight, all this is real, tall bikes are hard to ride, and if my camera could have captured the fire juggling and poi with good res i'd have more pics.

I still have to go through the rest of tonight's images but i think you all can have some idea of how we party here.

Peace

 

Well any highbike jousting stripper is gonna have a few scars,,,,

The people that put it on are (i think) called "No-name Us Bike Rodeo" out of Tucson. I got invited up to their shop to build some bikes with them and I might go in a month or two.

Yeah, anyways, here's what went down.

First the girl on the highbike started the show off with a burlesque tapdance and singing striptease in the middle of the street (i didn't have my camera on me then but i wasn't gonna leave right then to go get it so after the show she put on, mooned the audience with the word "applause" henna tatooed across her ass! it was some funny shit. I went and grabbed my camera and got the pics of the joust.

Highbikes are some crazy shizzle to ride, cause if you don't lean full forward you flip over backwards, and you gotta balance all kinds. Now do that with one hand holding a 10 foot jousting lance with her coming at you tryin to take you out with a 10 foot lance. 6 feet is a long way to fall backward after being lanced in the chest. I won my first round of joust and melee against the trials unicycle rider (i ride trials bicycle) and then dd battle with her. I scored the first hit on her center mass and took her straight off the back and the bike flipped over and crashd into a planter. 3 more runs (she wanted revenge haha) and we both took hits but nobody went down. Finally I leaned to lance her and she caught me open, i took one hard to the chest and got my ass beat by a girl.

The band Parts And Labor outta NYC on a national tour provided some mad insane sounds and jason (the bubble wrapped clown and club owner) put on a sweet fire poi/juggling show, and the band started their set and rocked out for the rest of the night. I didn't get to stay for the show cause i had to go to work a few hours later but i did hear PandL for a couple songs and they're pretty rad. I'm gonna try to find some of their music online.