Fuck You Insomnia

Discussion in 'General' started by someoneorother2, Aug 20, 2008.

  1. #21 theVirtuoso, Aug 20, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2008
    Shit... I've become irrational after four or five days before. Some sick part of me enjoyed the craziness at least a little, it's hard for me to describe; I felt a lot similar to Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (the book portrays his irrationality and state of mind in general much, much better)... I was just completely out of it; talking to myself, looking in the mirror and seeing an entirely different person as though I was using the mirror as a medium to my subconscious where this crazy entity called home, it's little hole that it occasionally peeks out from; fucking worm, I tell ya... it's the bad side of me.

    I've felt it from anxiety, as well. I had been up for ~2 days, nothing crazy. The thing was I myself was losing stability with my mindset. I was becoming more and more frantic and delirious by the moment. It's kind of a blurry memory, but again there was a lot of talking to myself, but I remember most of what I was saying was incoherent; it just simply couldn't be pieced together into a properly formed statement. I laughed as well; laughed at nothing... and got some sick disgusted, yet intrigued reaction emotionally by this laughing due to my temporarily insane frame of mind.

    I was not me when I became that way. I acted so strange, said and did things I would never even consider myself doing. I couldn't even respond intelligently to any question or debate I was on for at the time (small arguments with roommates for one). I sounded fucking crazy, and I know it, because I felt more insane than I looked or acted, I've just learned a lot about controlling my actions and I was in as much control as possible, but I still became crazy for period of time.

    I'm much better in general with experiences like these. I'm decent and handling the situation and keeping myself out detached from situations that may exasperate my negative emotions. After dealing with situations so similar or exactly like so many times you learn to deal with it more and more, so even though I have to go through these weird "episodes" of temporary insanity, I come out on top in the end, and hopefully one day gain definite and absolute control over my conscious.

    I could go on for ages about my anxiety recently and how it makes me feel temporarily insane (to put it simple)... I'm workin on it, heh. Things have been fine lately, but I'm always worried there will be another episode. Just making sure I bounce back quicker and more resilient than each previous time.
     
  2. play combat arms...its 7 am here and i just finished playing from like 1:30 am...its so addictive.

    PS: i cant sleep before 4am anyway, i didnt stay up just for combat arms...maybe a couple hours...damn im tired.
     
  3. Yea, I just started writing when I'm up, bored/restless, and still have enough Adderall in me to start forming some fancy, articulate sentences :)

    I'll write quite a bit; it's mostly a bunch of rambling with whatever is running through my head... just type/write as you think, don't stop... you'll find you get a lot written down. I like to type because I can move things around and other editing, mostly adding. My rambling gets certain paragraphs mixed around; they would fit much better in another part of the paper, so I have to move em for it to make more sense.

    It makes the time fly, really, it goes quickly! On 40mg of Adderall one night I wrote for 8 hours straight, I'm thinking it may have been longer. It flew by... only felt like an hour or two.
     

  4. depends.. could you stay up for long periods of time and carry a full combat load (pack, flak jacket, kevlar, weapons system) 40 miles while sleep deprived?
     
  5. I probably could, but I don't think I would lol. Just straight up... FUCK THAT.

    My bro-in-law is in the Navy and he was taking pure Pseudoephedrine for some time, along with having to take Vicodin and muscle relaxers for other shit.

    Bet the meth lab guys would like a nice pseudo-script hehe :p
     
  6. #26 someoneorother2, Aug 21, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2008
    Well, I tried Melatonin (the drug form), and...fuck this shit.

    I took some around 11:20, and was in bed at 11:30. For 15 minutes, I basically felt extremely tired, but not sleepy...hard to explain (and even harder to type right now). Then I got super forgetful, and kept repeating my name so that I would remember who I am. I was forgetting everything, including forgetting what it was that I was forgetting in the first place....or something.

    Then, I woke up at 1:40, feeling completely awake, but groggy and sick at the same time. I think it is going to be very hard to go to sleep now. I tried to sleep right after I woke up, and kept hearing lightning and rollling thunder in the distance. This crap s seriously fucking with me. And it is perfect weather outside.

    Now, I feel wide awake, and like shit. When I close my eyes to sleep, I feel as though there are two different realities that are wiggling back and forth, and I get dizzy....but instantly feel un-dizzy when I open my eyes.

    Maybe this stuff just doesn't work with me...I don't know.


    Sober, it might take 3-4 hours to fall asleep, but at least I sleep fully after that. (I feel so sorry for all of you who stay up for days straight, that sucks hardcore. Apparently, I don't have insomnia, but rather "hard time sleeping syndrome") Anyways, sober...I actually sleep eventually.
    High, I sleep instantaneously, and have a good nights sleep.
    On this, 2 hours...then awake and feeling bad.


    Are there any good medications (other than cannabis)?
    Or, will I probably feel super shitty on the strong kinds?

    EDIT: another weird effect was that when I turned on the lights, they barely bothered me at all, whereas normally, I have to have them super dim before I can open my eyes fully.

    EDIT #2: what is the name for simply not sleeping well?...I don't think it is insomnia, but that is all I could think of off the bat....
     
  7. i did mention ambien. fantastic mini-halucination period and then you're out for at least 8 hours (if you're lucky to sleep soundly)

    post on the first page about it. i dont feel like typing it again lol...

    too stoned... xD
     
  8. ambien makes me hallucinate aswell haha
     

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