I have severe mental issues in my family, my grandfathers both died of alcoholic complications, both had severe substance issues, depression, anxiety, and severe anger issues. They passed these onto my parents, whom treated me very poorly when i was younger, it took me years to even accept this. Growing up was different for me, my first memory is sitting in my pysch's office. Because of the way my parents acted and treated me, i thought violence was a normal human interaction, while I understand it isn't now, i still have issues grasping it. I also inherited the substance issues, i can't get much more into that. My issues have really come to a climax, its my senior year of high school, I was prescribed adderall last year for my severe a.d.d., my g.p.a was a 2.56 before this, i got a 3.9 while on adderal, i was with a girl who i truly loved. Then shit went to hell, my grandfather died, my grandmother tried to kill herself, shes now in a mental hospital, my mother is depressed again, my fatehr started drinking again too. I broke up with girlfriend after i found out she had been lying to me, she had a mental breakdown, tried to kill herself, was admitted to a hospital, then moved to japan. Once my dad starting drinking again shit got bad, we started fighting, lots. After a while my mother got sick of it and tried to set up family counseling, my dad didn't go. He decided the solution was to take me off adderall, citing my families substance issues and my inherited anger problems, the doctor cancelled my prescription. Now i am failing school, i cant focus at all, my a.d.d. is even worse now that i have been on and off adderall. fuck it all man
If you are 18 how has your dad "taken you off adderall". Go to the doctor and tell him you want to be back on it because it helps you.
Tried and failed, my mind moves to fast, i can bearly sleep, yet alone meditate. And im not buying illegally, that plain fucking stupid. Doctors can take a patient off of a medication based off of their own discretion as long as they have valid reasoning, in this case it was the fact my father brought up mental disorders that we hadn't brought to the doctors attention before.
Don't focus on your mind when you meditate then, focus on your breathing. And if you're 18, your dad can't tell your doc what to do for you. Tell your doctor you need to be back on it, because it helps so much.
so you're a quitter? i was diagnosed with a.d.d., depression, and a bunch of other shit. i "overcame" them on my own. maybe you should try meditating or some other kind of hobby.
re-invent yourself. im gonna be leaving soon to go on a trip just to find out what really makes me happy. With only a few hundred bucks im gonna be crashing with random people i know and i don't know all over. and make money as i go. live a lot differently then i do now.. lot of places i wanna see. things i wanna do. ill be using couchsurfing.com and things like it for crashing with people and what not. anyway w/e you decide to do best of luck to you! Life is to short to live it in this whack cookie cutter way most people seem to be doing it.
Far from a quitter, a lot of people wouldn't have made it to where i am today if they had a childhood like mine, I'll never forget talking to my friends at school when i was younger, and being surprised their parents didn't hit them too. I still work my ass off in school, I simply can't do some things.
I think the solution is fairly straight forward - find the green that's going to help these situations. If your mind is running too fast - there's a weed that can help. If you can't concentrate - there's a weed that can help. If you can't sleep - there's a weed that can help. If you're depressed - there's a weed that can help. Meditate while you're stoned, it's VERY effective.
Ill look into this, my school is pretty strict about drug usage, however it can't hurt to give it a shot, ill start looking up strains and people to get me them.
^^^ That If you believe you're genetically predisposed to these problems you are on your first steep to controlling yourself. Just because violence and drug addiction have troubled your blood in the past dose't mean you have to have the same problems. Your mind is a powerful thing. Learn to control it, learn to use it. Good luck.
Op, I'm sorry to hear about all your problems. I too, have a family history of addiction and mental illness. The impact of these things on children is overwhelming. I am pushing 30 now and have had a hell of a ride already. My teens and early 20's were very difficult, but I have persevered. You will too. You can see another doctor if your doctor is not looking after your best interests. If there are other symptoms that he hadn't considered, I can understand that, but if the meds were working, then that is all that should matter. Was it a family doctor or a mental health prof prescribing you? Are you seeing a counselor? Find one you like that understands you and the best ways to work through your issues, it really helps. Have you had a physch eval done? Sorry if you mentioned it, I can't remember, but if not you should, it will go along way in helping you understand yourself and in helping someone treat you. I hope things work out for you.
alright man so why don't you still meditate? i'm not saying you have to but you gotta find something to put your emotions/thoughts/etc. into. i was exactly like you except i was 16 then i found guitar and my anger/"depression"/etc. started to fade. i can feel you on the a.d.d. thing that was a BITCH but you can do it man you just can't get mad or stressed you can't concentrate. it's all in your head and if you fall into it's traps it'll be 10x worse. if you are having trouble concentrating close your eyes take a few deep breathes and tell yourself you CAN and WILL do it. you always gotta start the day on your good foot so to say. start the day on negative thoughts you can bet you'll have a negative day. and if you live in mass if you do get caught with weed (under an oz) you will only get a 100$ fine.
I have thought about going to another doctor, another good option. It was a family doctor, i am not seeing a counselor, i don't know why, i just hate them, although i do want to be a mental health specialist when i grow up. I have only done the a.d.d. test, which i scored so high on i was in the range of worry of other mental health issues.
I agree with sidecar88. You are not a quitter but you are stuck in the mindset that these problems have been passed down to you so you are screwed. That's not true. Your family doesn't control your attitude and behavior. Drugs like weed and adderall don't control your behavior. Even your past behavior does not control your present behavior. YOU are in control. If you STFU during school, put away the papers the teacher doesn't have you working on, don't play on any electronic devices like your phone while in class, and do your HW, you will succeed in school. You don't need the Adderall; it's a crutch. But you could always go back to the doctor to explain your case, or you could try another doctor (don't tell Dad who it is).