TL/DR: bitching about school, finding work, and social impairments life is getting down. started college about a month ago for a HRAC techy (heating, ventilation, electrical, refrigeration/ A/C). I gotta say it's going good. everything is too easy, slow as fucking snails pace spend more time standing then learning. and full time lol lucky to be in class more than 22 hrs week maybe 24hrs after home work if that. well bull shit I say on scheduling's part. but so right now I'm more or so looking for a job, or am faced with finding a job to avoid another right now. and from what I'm finding its slim pickings or the people that post the job postings are so secretive like "Hey! we have a job, apply" wtf they don't even give location or full details any more and it's getting fucking annoying and being a waste of time too. but i'd rather find a job then go back to my seasonal job. sure it pays $17.50-$19hr pending on what I'm doing, but I will inevitably be put on the production line and sure it's straight forward work, fuck it's easy... they produce poly styrene roofing, siding and in floor heating panels. what we normally do is take these 4'x8' sections and wrap, stack, and band them together some being light at about 150lbs a bundle to steaming 450lbs blocks. but personally I don't mind it sept for my dam "crippled" foot by the end of the day it fucking hurts and takes a lot of energy out of me physically and mentally to the point I felt like I was living to work, climbing the descending escalator so I don't want to go back for that reason since how life was before, was get out of work, stone, sleep, hobble around do as little as possible for the few hours i could do something and repeat. just not happy for that even thought it's an okay place. and well in general having no fucking idea on what I want to do for a job, or even for fun.... I moved citys over a year ago away from my repressive mother and I just haven't been able to open up. guess that's what you get for being treated like a mushroom all your life, no you cant go out and have fun, no you can't go out and learn social building blocks, oh ya it's your fault!, sit and be quite like a dog. and even now it seems im capped by transportation socially, and for work. I don't have a car nor would I care to spend half my wages on fucking insurance to drive since it's one of those I don't use one enough to justify having one. oh well not much I can do at this point in time. trying to make lemonade but its so fucking hard without sugar.
I can relate to a good bit of this but I grew out of my social impairments now, give it time and keep going out of your comfort zone. If you are so tired of your non challenging course try picking something more skilled. Precision Machine Technology, I found fun and challenging. If you go this route you can make ~45-50k for being a button pusher CNC operator, ~60k for manual machining, ~60-75k for CAM/CAD CNC programmer<-that's me. You can make cool trinkets, useful things and guns at most factories if you get on the supervisors good side. Just keep that head up and continue to go forward, you will find happiness eventually.
ya I was thinking machining as well, but around my area it doesn't pay much any more and they're all one part jobs. but mind you i'd love to have a machine shop where I'm doing custom pieces. as just like my course it's just as simple to me. I have a exceptionally good tinkering/ logical side to me but lack in other departments. thank you @BelowTheInfluence . I know it will take time but its been roughly the same since I moved and I don't really have much optimism for the future as of now
If I can find happiness with what I have been through, I have faith you will. Even in the darkest times keep your mind focused on that silver lining. Have you thought about moving again?
well no. not in my current situation. going back to the mushroom comment, my mom didn't really teach me life things, because I was either "not responsible enough" or "it was her god given right that I be the kid". so I'm living with my dad until I can land a career. but beyond that I aint got a clue how life works other than shit cost money these days.. often more then what people make I really do need to ask. my parents split at a young age so moving in with my dad was a shock for both of us. and well he tries but its like we missed the buss.
I didn't gain my social awkwardness like you, I was a voluntary hermit until 15 then I lived in my parents home alone, they separated and both of them moved off in seek of their own happiness abandoning me to live there all alone with no funding. I dropped out of school and turned to the cold streets for my education that is how I lost my shyness. I was lost until I turned 21. The streets made me realize this is no life I want to continue, so I changed got a shit job in a plastic factory, got my GED and went to college. Live and learn that's the only way you find out how life works.
@grasscoty what do you mean by Harry Nilsson's song? I get that most the blame is on me, even though its easier to blame the person that lead me to where an who I am now. Dam man that must of been rough. Having your prents disown you at that point in life. But if it made you a better person for it then there's hope. But for myself, there's just alot of knowledge and experiences I need. Like how do you relate to somebody, like talking about beer, or party's. None of which I have. Then there's machureity between me and my other peers. I just don't know and trying sinks me deeper realizing how different I am
Don't waste any more energy blaming anything on your mama. It's not going to help and no one's going to care except for you and your mama. If you're in a trade school now, stay in it. If it turns out it isn't for you at least you'll be able to support yourself until you find your niche. And kudos to your Dad for stepping up even if it's late and not all that much. There's a lot of them that won't. Keep your ears and eyes open and be ready and prepared for any opportunity that may pop up. Since so many places drug test be ready to pass one without studying. That's a tough one, I know. Time will pass faster than you think and graduation from your trade school will come very soon so study the fuck out of that shit. Be the best in your class.
I moved citys over a year ago away from my repressive mother and I just haven't been able to open up. guess that's what you get for being treated like a mushroom all your life, no you cant go out and have fun, no you can't go out and learn social building blocks, oh ya it's your fault!, sit and be quite like a dog. ^THIS^ is what prompted me to post that song. Not your fault, your mom sounded too protective. "Mother do you think I should build a wall?" - Pink Floyd