>............One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in >despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. >The demon asked, "Why so glum?" > > > > > > >The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!" > > > > > >"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of > fun down here. You a drinking man?" > > > > > > >Sure," the man said, "I love to drink." > > > > > > >"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is > drink.Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We >drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!" > > > > > > >The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great." > > > > > > >"You a smoker?" the demon asked. > > > > > > >"You better believe it!" > > > > > > >"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the >world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're >already dead, remember?" > > > > > > >"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!" > > > > > > >The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble." > > > > > > >"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do." > > > > > > >"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, >poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead > anyhow. > > > > > > >You into drugs?" > > > > > > >The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . > > > > ." >"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big > bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can > do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!" > > > > > > >"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, > "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" > > > > > > >The demon said, "You gay?" >"No." > > > > > > >"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays >