Friday night...

...was probably the most scared I've been in my life.

I got out of work at 11 p.m. and met up with my boyfriend (let's call him J), his best friend (T), and his friend's girlfriend (H). We went to H's garage, because her garage is detached from her house and is entirely empty except, conveniently, for 4 chairs. J has really dank shit, called Kali Mist (I don't know much about strain names so this could be made up, but it's entirely amazing nonetheless).

We roll a gram into a blunt and got fucked up off of that, then packed almost a gram into my bowl and smoked that. Like I said, we were fucked up, to the point where her brick steps seem to blend into one another, making it difficult to walk.

So me and J get in his car, and start driving towards my house. He stopped at a 3-way intersection and started looking through his CDs. A car pulled up behind us and flashed their brights, so J says something like "WTF this isn't a red light?!" because he really thought it was and we crack up and continue driving.

A minute later, we saw some shit down the road that looked like a cop car and some flares, so we thought there was an accident and went onto the next street to avoid it because that was just generally too confusing to deal with at the moment considering how high we were.

Next thing we know, we're being pulled over. I'll write out all the dialogue I can but it's kinda hazy so I'll probably leave some stuff out. After J hands over his license and registration...

Cop: Have you been drinking tonight?
(His flashlight is in J's eyes, which are red as hell, just like mine)
J: No.
Cop: Are you sure? Neither of you have been drinking?
J: No, we definitely haven't.
Me: Not at all.
Cop: Why did you pull onto this street?
J: I saw flares and thought there was an accident so I figured I'd go around it.
Cop: Do you always go around road blocks?
J: I didn't realize.
(Turns out, it was a random sobriety checkpoint, so now we understand that we look very suspicious)
Cop: (to J) Can you do me a favor and step out of the vehicle?

(Side note: during this conversation the cop keeps sniffling, which I didn't notice but J thinks he either smelled pot or was seeing if he could.)

So J gets out (they pretty much left me alone). They ask again if he's been drinking or doing drugs (the cop actually referred to weed directly 2 or 3 times throughout the rest of this story), and J says no and offers to take a breathalyzer. Instead, the cop decides to fuck with him and make his do all these sobriety tests (lift one leg up and count to 10 Mississippi; walk 10 paces forward, turn around while keeping your left foot on the ground, and walk 10 paces back; etc.)

I'm having a heart attack because the cop keeps referring to weed and all he had to do was search J to find a little bit of pot (maybe 1/4g) and me to find my grinder and pipe, both of which had been used in the session before (they would count as paraphernalia, I think).

A second cop that was standing off to the side the whole time comes over to the car, flashes his light in the back seat (there was nothing but 2 hoodies and a notebook), and sticks his head in the driver's seat window and tells me that he pulled J over because he was the car behind us when we stopped at the intersection for the nonexistant red light and that made us suspicious and we seemed even more suspicious after avoiding the checkpoint (again, totally unintentional). I explained that he stopped for so long because he was looking for a radio station and didn't know there was a car waiting behind him. Also, it was 1 a.m. at this point, which also probably added to our suspiciousness. This cop, who seems nicer than the one testing J, tells me that he'll be free to go in a minute.

But the other cop, dick that he was, informs J that "you just failed 3 out of the 4 tests that were just conducted." My heart is pounding now.

He asks if J was going straight home, J explains that he was dropping me off first, so the cop makes him explain where I live, where J lives, and the route he was taking to get to each place. Then, the cop just tells him to leave and drive safely.

He had to have known that we were blazed, but chose not to search either of us (which I guess was nice) but decided to be a dick and make him do sobriety tests even though he offered to do the breathalyzer (which was kind of a dick move).

I know this is long, but I had to share lol.


EDIT: This is what my eyes looked like 2 hours after smoking, and we got pulled over about 30 mins after we smoked... imagine what we looked like? Ignore my overgrown eyebrows, please.

 

I always (always... as in 100% of the time) have Visine on me, except this ONE night, because it was in my jacket pocket but it was warm enough for me to go out without my jacket.

If we were going far I would've put everything in the trunk but I literally live 5 minutes away from the house that we were hanging out at.

Terribly scary.

 

Visine works great for me, but if I see that at CVS next time I need more, I'll give it a try, even though I'm skeptical of new products...

My douchebag friend gave me eyedrops (actually, it was T from the above story) last night that had menthol in them or some crazy shit like that, but he didn't warn me first so I was bugging out with my eyes burning and shit. They were crystal clear afterward, though.