Friday Night Cat Fights and other Bullshit.....

Okay......since I really dont have anywhere else to vent, Im going to do it here..hopefully you all will bear with me for a bit and just let me rant for a bit. thanks.

Okay, so friday a group of my friends and I went out to a movie and then about 3/4 through the movie, one of my good friends Adri pops her head looking around in the theater looking for us with 2 other of our friends. They sat with us for the rest of the movie, and then we all stood around for a while in the lobby at 12am trying to decide what the hell to do. Someone suggested Denny's, and some people were up for that, but I had originally made plans with Nic and Mary (TheHempress) to go smoke up with them....I had a very, very, shitty two weeks and I just wanted to get high and be able to forget about my problems for a few good hours. Another one of my friends that has smoked with Nic and I didnt really want to go to dennys, but he didnt want to go home either, so I told him that there was another option that he and I could do, and Adri goes beserk on me....yelling at me and saying how its stupid to even suggest that, and that i didnt care about anything anymore, not even my friends, school, or anything. Just getting high. I dont know....she did kind of have some truth in this. I skipped school this entire past week, I didnt go to tech crew after school or on Saturday, and all I did this weekend was get fucked up and sleep A LOT. And then she posts this long ass entry on her journal, half of it about me, and I think the thing that made me sick in the stomach was the fact that everything that she wrote about me was true. It was almost as if she knew me better than I knew myself, and thats just sad. I also feel really depressed now knowing that I probably really fucked up our friendship, and thats just something that just makes me sick. You guys dont understand just how fucking loyal I am to my friends. I would take a fucking bullet for them any day. I love and care for them that much. They knew I had some major issues when I became friends with me.....So I dont really know how many true friends I have left now, and I dont know who is not pissed with me.
Yes, I did ended up smoking this weekend with Nic and Mary, but I think the thing that pissed me off the most was when Nic talked to Adri and she said something along the lines of " She just uses you for Pot" to Nic. He asked me if this was true when we were all sitting there smoking up with Ant and Amira. I just felt insulted that he even asked that. I DO NOT USE ANY OF MY FRIENDS FOR ANYTHING! Im not fucking like that. But needless to say, It has bothered me all night. I asked Nic if he really thought that was true what Adri said, and he said no. I was thankful, but there is still a part of me that doesnt believe him. I dont know. But I was friends with him before I even fucking KNEW he smoked weed. So that has to say something right? I dont know. Im just really fucking confussed and down right now.

 

Okaaaay......uhmm....no more listening to Silverchair when you are posting a comment when you're tripping. LOL
But yeah, Thanks Mary.