Freedom

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by TheRoeBiz, Jun 6, 2007.

  1. A poem I wrote today, I don't do a lot of poetry so I'm curious what you guys might think.




    How I long for the day when my mind will be free;
    nothing left to do all things having been seen.
    On that day I’ll look back and perhaps I'll rejoice.
    Until that hour I’ll suffer my choice
    No pain only thoughts stuck still repeating,
    dwelling on worry so self defeating.
    Catch me stuck, still lost in my mind.
    Through lies I found truth but ran out of time.
    Lessons learned, never to be applied,
    nothing but darkness as my heart slowly dies.

    What’s the point when I’ve become too blind to see?
    Barely over twenty with nothing left to dream.
    People dying in the streets and it’s been turned into a show.
    Blew my mind out with a pill with one more left to go.
    Is it only suicide if you die?
    I’m a guest at my own funeral and still no one cried.
     
  2. good job. i play guitar and i try to write songs and poems but im terrible at it. yet i know a shitload of music theory so i come up with the melody. i wish that i could write. keep on doing what your doing
     
  3. could use a little more punctuation to clearify, other than that, I liked the thoughts conveyed.

    your turn, if you find time, leave me some input on mine in Euphoria, ty. peace
     
  4. Is that any easier to understand?
     
  5. The Rain and the rapture
    Lyrics for a song ( it was a poem first but I had to change some things, ended up liking the new version better anyway.)

    Here we're going again.
    Left a good friend alone at the bend.
    Oh, how I've tried for such a long, long time
    but I can no longer pretend
    we're meeting up again at the end

    I know I'll find a way
    to travel through all of my pain.
    The rain only comes so the seeds can grow
    and in this dreary month of may;
    I light one up and say farewell to the day.

    And once the truth is known the act is brave,
    as flowers bloom on forgotten graves.
    It's all thanks to the rain.
    It washes away all of our shame.
    Let them play their silly games,
    soon they'll be no one left behind to blame.

    The rain only comes so that seeds can grow
    and in this dreary month of may;
    I light one more up and say farewell to the day.

    Falling High
    Poem

    I watched and I saw as I fell as I fall;
    gripping away at all that I've lost and letting what stays drift further away.
    Raindrops pour but the wind is kind;
    reflections on a wasted mind.
    Echos of what was pleasant
    lay soaking and scattered on the floor.
    Tightly grasping to nothing;
    as I've fallen as I fall.

    Drifted by someone who claimed to know the way
    but I couldn't remember where I was going.
    Don't worry then, nothing stays.
    Lost and gone forever,
    slipping slowly as I sink,
    no more need to worry
    the ground can't reach my feet.
     
  6. comin' together. looks like you're having fun with it, that's what's important to me with mine. peace
     

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