How do you guys feel about this example situation. Several members of this fraternity smoke, but the problem recently has been that the non smokers are trying to either get the smokers to stop coming around high or to just kick them out in general. This is dividing the group as a whole. I will admit some guys take the getting high to extremes (showing up to meetings and such with their eyes pretty much closed and reeking of ganja). I just can't for the life of me see why you would want to kick someone out when the whole motto for the fraternity has been brotherhood. Would you kick your biological brother out of the family because he smokes weed a lot? Of course not, I hope lol. How do you guys feel about removing someone from what you were told was a "lifelong brotherhood". Here is your case against the person 1. Shows up stoned to everything 2. Generally doesn't volunteer for things (but will do what is asked of him) 3. don't throw money on parties or other events because they spend their disposable income of more weed and sometimes booze Yes or No vote but which reason would weigh the heaviest into your decision?
If someone were to always show up high, be unmotivated, and blow all their money on weed and not contribute, then I can completely understand wanting to kick them out. If said person were to only smoke on their own time and contribute to the cause, then no, I can't see me kicking them out.
What a coincidence; I hate fraternities. We used to have a blast crashing various 'frat parties', years ago. Latently homosexual, angry, white bred jocks that can't handle their booze? Whats not fun about that scene? Please see the film 'Back to School', it further explains my opinions and outlook on the whole scene: Party A: RODNEY, Danny Elfman and Oingo Boingo, Ironman writhing on the floor in a sexual display, the whiny emo kid from Christine, hot tub oral, Uncle Pauly, etc.etc. Party B: Bunch of hateful jerkoffs pouring beer on themselves while dreadful cock rock plays in the background. Hmmmm....seems like a no-brainer, eh?
Yeah, I don't care if it's a fraternity or any other kind of organization, if someone's just showing up, always high, not contributing anything and just wasting space then they need to be cut free. It doesn't matter if it's caused by weed or something else. I generally cut those types of people out of my life as they are pointless and just consume. If someone shows up high, volunteers, contributes and gets things done, definitely wouldn't get rid of them. Some people just try to tag along in life and those people will never have a purpose other than to take from you, whether it's time, money, emotions, goods or services.
Sad but true, amigo. I try to be decent and kindly to everyone, but some seem to take and take then take some more. Like a parasite or a leech, or possibly a 'paraleech'. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness" - Al Capone
fraternities are dumb bro. you are not brothers just because you proclaim you are. leave those judgmental groups behind and do your own thing.
I appreciate the responses. I see a lot of hate on fraternities in these replies haters ay? I understand chopping the dead weight, but only if the dead weight can't be reanimated. I'd rather at least face to face ask the person in question "here's the straight up, you need to change or you may have to go. If you don't want to change, then you need to walk away". I would rather them at least get confronted first and get the choice to change or bounce. Not just try to kick them out without hearing their side of the story, or even talking to them for that matter. If he says he's still just get stoned and do nothing, then so be it. I'd just rather not Axe someone without at least hearing a defense from them.
well its up to you, at the end of the day you'll be losing money from that member, monthly dues, but amid the fact the frat would cut him out instead of helping the individual goes to show money is the motivator instead of "brotherhood" lol
Some frats say brotherhood but what they really mean is indoctrination. Your beer loving frat "brothers" who are trying to ban weed are just hypocrites.
People who don't know moderation don't belong in society. Same goes to your friends. If they don't have the self control to respect the frat due to their weed habit, they definitely should be kicked out.
Sure man, talk to them all you want. Each one is going to have their side of the story about why they get stoned and don't do shit. They probably already told it to their parents numerous times so they're going to have it practiced and it's going to sound good. They're going to agree not to do that anymore and that they're going to start contributing more and being more involved in everything. Then they won't, and they'll continue to show up stoned, do nothing, but now they're going to complain about it and tell anyone that listens about how persecuted and misunderstood they are.
Umm. So people shouldn't have a chance to at least have their defense heard? What is this Russia? We have had a brother in the past where they straight up asked him "hey man, we are thinking bout kicking u out, u gonna change if we don't?". He said " nope, that's fine if you kick me out". I'm not wanting to hear their excuses, I just want to ask them if given the chance, would they get their shit together. Giving me an excuse is the same thing as saying no. If they say yes but really don't, once again, counts as them saying no. All of you would at least want the chance to walk away on your own without all the extra shit.
First, everyone deserves a second chance. Secondly, they're adults and this is how they're choosing to live their lives. If what you describe is accurate, then chances are they aren't going to change. They've decided this works for them and they've had enough enablers in their lives to let them keep living this way. When they are talked to they are going to swear up and down that things will change. Maybe one of them will. Odds are, since this is how they've been living their lives so far, they will not change. This is going to start causing friction between the frat and them. It's going to become a toxic relationship with them feeling picked on and the frat thinking they're no good stoners. Are you one of the people getting kicked out?
Im from England and your frats seem like the gayest fucking shit ever lmao literally everything that is wrong with americcans along ith spring break
No one of the older guys telling people, if you are gonna try to kick people out. Do it right. Its supposed to be a process, not a split second decision. I'm just of the belief you don't kick out people from a "lifetime" membership. Trying to remove people causes far more friction because you get half the chapter wanting to kick them out, then the other half not wanting to so it turns into nonstop bitching from both sides. I was almost kicked out earlier in the year, but fought and won. They tried to do to me what they are doing to these guys. Trying to sneakily get rid of them other than the right way. They voted to expel me with only about 70% of the chapter present (I wasn't even there, I was sick). They are trying to do things however way will allow them to win. They voted to expel me without me there to plead my case and against the rules as the whole chapter MUST be there and the person in question MUST be there to defend themselves.
And I ended up appealing and had a new vote done with whole chapter there and through private ballot, not just a raise of hands from only some of the chapter. Its amazing how people will shit on you when you aren't there to look them in the eyes while they say it. But as soon as I was there to defend myself, half the people who had said stuff about me while I was gone didn't say a damn word. I just want these guys to have their rights according to the fraternity by laws. Like I said too, if they say they'll change but dont, then expel them. Don't ASSUME they won't change.
Okay, that's all different from what you originally posited. If people are trying to do this without following all of the rules set up by the charter of the frat, that's not fair. One of the things you should consider doing is contacting the head office of your fraternity and explain to them that your officers are not following the bylaws with this process.
I posted the reason they are going through this. I'm not against going through the expulsion process, I'm not. But it should be a last resort, not the first option. As I've observed, most of you guys had the biggest problem with the them not contributing. No one really said anything about them not having money or always being stoned. You guys are seeing the real reason they are problems. The people trying to expel them are the guys saying "all the do is smoke weed and they never pay for anything". That's their only complaint against them. They never complained about them not doing anything. They do show up to things, they just sit in the back and avoid getting involved too much, but they are going to things required by them. These guys just don't wanna give more than they have to. But they give what they have to. I'd rather them give a little than give none.