I've got this huge problem that seems to rip open my insides every single day. It's the worst feeling in the world and I wanna know if any of you share this dilemma/have tips on getting over it. So, my problem is that I have absolutely zero confidence in my work. I'm a comedy writer and part of that is having people read your stuff -- test to see what works, what doesn't, what needs to be punched up, etc. I've been at multiple table reads where the whole room is laughing. Readers have complimented me, saying they literally laughed out loud at times. If you are in LA, you'd know most readers won't give even a chuckle. There's tons of bitterness and judging between a majority of the other writers I know. And, at the expense of sounding like a douche, I've written some short-short stories over in the general thread that got good responses too. One of the posts got over 130 replies of people just saying they got a laugh. Of course, I still can take criticism. The problem is all I want to hear is the criticism. I want somebody to come forward and finally admit that I'm terrible. I feel like I'm having delusions of grandeur and I'm waiting for the first person to slap me across the face to bring me back to reality. I don't believe a person when they compliment me. In fact, whenever somebody compliments me, I think they're somehow insinuating the opposite. Too afraid to tell me to my face how they really felt. What is wrong with me? Does anybody else suffer from this? It sucks because this feeling really discourages me from continuing to write. I still do, but I always am thinking in the back of my mind that I'm insane.
You care too much about what others think. Just own your shit. And in turn, confidence in yourself will only make you funnier to your audience.
I definitely care too much about what others think. I'm almost paranoid in that way. But how do you drop that from your thought process? I I was raised in a very strict Catholic house and I think it kinda fucked me up. Not saying Catholicism is necessarily bad. This is just my experience where today I have this insistent need to make sure others are comfortable and happy while completely ignoring my own (or else I have this huge sense of guilt). Being raised this way, I feel like this behavior is so embedded in me that I won't shed it.
Hahaha, funny, I went to catholic school from kindergarten all the way through high school. I definitely know what you mean. But it's bad enough for me that I can't even write things for myself. I've tried to write journals before, and I can never get more than a couple sentences without just hating myself. The very fact that you've written things and read them in a room full of people tells me you can manage it.
Just do your thing. If you're not getting criticized but instead praised, that's nothing to gawk at. That means you're doing something right. I think the biggest criticism should always come from the artist himself in that you always want to strive to do better every time. But don't stress yourself out, that's not why you get into the business.
If this helps...you suck. You really do. There are better writers... Now that, that is out of the way understand this. That is how I view myself. It makes me strive to get better and make stuff that will impress someone. If you understand you can always get better you will always make more work. When it comes to writing or any creative field people will kiss your ass. You just have to deal with it. People are fake and that sucks but don't let it keep you down. I'm sure you are a great writer and you just need to acknowledge that fact and move on. Make your writing for you!