For some reason I just cant "Seal the deal"

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Mahakali 420, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. For some reason I have absolutely 0 inhibitions with women until things turn sexual, and then I just freeze up entirely. This didnt used to happen at all, and I can still be totally social and normal up until that point.

    A few months ago a girl who I was very into in grade school (from 2nd to 10th grade) and me reconnected at a party. Things got hot quick and I made a joke about my D and then she said something about wanting to see it. I was drunk and DTF but we couldnt get any privacy so the next day she texts me and invites me over. This time I was super timid and shit didnt go down. Then we run into eachother recently at a concert and she just comes up and grabs me and I just freeze up and say a bunch of awkward bullshit. She makes suggestive physical contact with me a few more times but I just puss the fuck out for whatever reason.

    This has happened many times to me, most recently new years. Pretty sure Im not gay since I truly am attracted to these girls. Preformance Anxiety? Low self esteem? deep rooted issues stemming from past relationships? Whatever is going on I just want to get out of this mental rut, because Ive already (for whatever the fuck reason) passed up several situations that I would have dreamed of being in back when I wasnt having this issue. Honestly I dont feel really feel bad about myself so I dont really think its self-esteem issues, but I had them for many years in high school and middle school so maybe there's some patterns developed from that.

    Thanks for any input, Im definitely trying to go the whole ten yards next time :D
  2. #2 Cruizer, Jan 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2013
    I'd say low self-esteem. But I'm not operating your mind, you are. That's just the reason I used to freeze up when talking about sex with girls. I had that problem in high school too. Now I'm out and a fair bit better but I understand the nervousness of letting yourself feel vulnerable. You just gotta understand that girls don't really care what your body looks like.

    For a girl it's 80% personality (i.e. confidence) and 20% how you look. For guys it's the other way around (of course as a general rule). Being able to say "I'm proud of my body" does a hell of a lot towards looking like you're actually proud of your body :p

    If she's hot for you she's hot for you. Girls take a lot longer to get horny, but stay hornier for longer, they also take longer to stop being horny. Guys get all the shorter parts of those traits. So she's probably still into you, and something stupid like a bad scar or not being circumcised is something really stupid to worry about since the girl isn't that likely to even bother thinking about it.

    Edit: Being sober is definitely counter-productive. It just makes both parties real awkward about the whole thing. The further you go with inebriates the less inhibitions you have, but performance won't be as good (if you catch my meaning).
  3. Yeah I feel it man for sure. I suppose I may have some low-ish self esteem
  4. Aww <3 I'd show you some tings.
    I would say it's a lack of self confidence, I can relate. Get drunk, smoke some herb, and start with making out and just go with it. You'll know what to do.
  5. It's in your head, the worst place it can possibly be. Girls like our minds and we like their bodies (again, mainly).

    Straight guys try to put their own minds in the girl that they like's head. But we're different and you gotta make the distinction.

    You know that girl you want, the one that will come up to you, full of confidence, tell you what you want to hear. Takes you back to her place, breaking down all the barriers you put up in feeling insecure and then fucks you?

    That's what girls want in a guy. A guy who doesn't give a shit and goes for what he wants. That's the best way to turn on a girl, not by having the best looking body.
  6. HAha yeah I dont think I look bad though. I just lose my sexual drive at the WORST time every time. Its almost like a post-trauma habit but no crazy shit ever went down that I can think of that would fuck me up like that. Oh well I will honor that suggestion anyway since I clearly am not sure what my issue is
  7. Wait you actually like lose your horniness?
  8. Not really like Im still physically aroused I just all of the sudden start making mental excuses about why its a bad idea or some shit
  9. Yeah that's weird, to just lose horniness. Are you on any medication by chance? All kinds of medication can have libido-suppressing qualities.

    Edit: just read you post above, what kind of excuses?
  10. Ooooh ok. Yeah, it's lack of self esteem. I am the exact same as you, you just have to force yourself at the time, you will feel much better about yourself.
  11. Nah but thats exactly what it is dude. Sudden supression of my libido.

    The last time this happened was on New Years when this chick wanted to come to this new years party with me and made it super clear to me I was already in (telling me she was going to be drinking and having to sleep over with me), and that instantly just made me not stoked to fuck this girl anymore.

    Trust me in hind sight I always wish I did it I just get into this weird fucking overthinking/doubting things in the moment.
  12. I used to have like the exact same problem man. But then I was like, what the fuck am I scared about? If you don't have a small dick, no offence, then there is nothing to be shy about.
  13. I havent seen a ton of dicks but Im pretty sure Im packing heat so I may as well just go for gold next time

  14. I've seen a ton of dicks.
  15. you are thinking way too much... smoke or drink to let loose... dont think... just go with the flow... and man up!

  16. Is it the forwardness of the girl that's a turn off? Like you'd rather be the one to do the major flirting?
    Kinda confused by what you said in your other post then!

  17. Maybe thats the case but I dont consciously think that
  18. Lol, oh goodness. In any case, just do it it. I know that's overused, but seriously, you won't regret it! N you don't have to go all the way either.
  19. Yeah haha I mean right now Im thinking like "Oh fuck yeah Id tear that shit up" but its so different at the time.

    On a different note I used to miss opportunities to fuck girls I knew all the time because I was totally fucking oblivious to the signs they gave me. I always find this shit out later when they talk to other girls about it and its def too late

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