Food porn

Recent food porn

Here are a couple of specials I ran recently...


Grilled lemon pepper rainbow trout!


Beef stroganoff.

Also barbecued today. My indoor work included prepping a macaroni and cheese casserole and making my own barbecue sauce (in the mason jar.)


The casserole was topped with cheddar and gouda cheese, and went into the oven before serving.

The outside work involved playing with fire.

Here are the pork chops, after an hour and a half of apple wood smoke. I also basted them with apple brandy. The one on the left caught on fire at one point, but it actually tasted the best.

 

Thanks.

I have leftovers, but my transporter is broken.

 

Our lawyers say the online food porn offered here has no calories, and that you can actually burn calories as you clutch helplessly at the computer screen.

 

**ADVANCED LEVEL **

**COLONEL SANDERS’ 11 SECRET HERBS AND SPICES**

Secret my ass. The internet is a bitch, and she’ll turn on you for a coke. Here is what is purported to be...Colonel Sander’s original recipe for Kentucky fried chicken, hand written on a note from 1940.



Now, there is a lot of disagreement as to whether or not this truly is the genuine recipe. One can spend an hour researching the matter and coming away with the notion that A: KFC has a lot of money to spend obfuscating the matter, and B: no one knows for sure.

Really? I know what Kentucky fried chicken tastes like, and I have a palate. Let’s just TRY THE RECIPE and see if it fits.

But this means deep frying chicken on top of the stove, in the home. Which is very dangerous.

 

Safety briefing: How to deep fry on top of the stove without killing your dumb ass.

When you deep fry, you are actually boiling something in oil. This is very dangerous because of two reasons.

1. If the oil gets too hot, it will catch on fire.
2. If you spill the oil, it will catch on fire.

The MOST important thing you must have before attempting this recipe in the home kitchen is a fire extinguisher that works.



If the dial on your fire extinguisher looks like this, it’s time to go to Walmart and invest $15 in your own safety:


Having said that...

To deep fry, you will need a cast iron skillet of acceptable depth, some oil (I use a canola/soybean blend) and a thermometer that goes up to at least 350 degrees.



The cast iron skillet is important because it can retain heat better than other kinds, and the thermometer is a MUST, because without that...you have no idea how hot the oil is.

And it can catch on fire if it’s too hot. No one wants that, and the Colonel would be disappointed.

 

I chose to make chicken strips for this recipe, so I cut several chicken breasts into thin slices, then soaked them in a saltwater brine over night. Then I drained them, and soaked them in buttermilk a few minutes before cooking.



Next, I sifted the Colonel’s 11 ‘secret’ herbs and spices into two cups of flour, and dredged the chicken strips through it until well coated.


Here is the set-up: chicken soaking in buttermilk, seasoned flour, oil heated to EXACTLY 350 degrees Fahrenheit, and a tray with a towel where you can set the chicken when it’s done to drain excess grease...


Then I cooked it. As soon as I dropped the chicken in the oil, the temperature dropped. I turned up the heat and WATCHED THAT THERMOMETER LIKE A HAWK.


I made creamy mashed potatoes...


With gravy...


And this is the finished meal:


For the record, it tasted just exactly like Colonel Sanders’ legendary ‘11 secret herbs and spices recipe.’ My palate suggests that the hand written note seen across the Internet is genuine. There is plenty of fake news to be found there days, but maybe this time...

It might be true.

 

Recent food porn:

Lasagna.


Rogue Fried Chicken.


Country fried steak and beef stroganoff.

Hunter’s chicken.


French toast, with eggs and bacon.