first semester at college

Discussion in 'General' started by coldcheese, Jan 21, 2010.

  1. so i've been going to adult school for the passed couple months to get my G.E.D. let me give you some background.

    sophomore year in high school was the best year in school i ever had, yet at the same the worst. at first, i was just getting lazy with my grades and getting C's and a few D's. but hey at least i was passing. i was smoking on a pretty regular basis, maybe 4 or 5 times a week, sometimes more on the weekends. but i was keeping up in school, getting in a little trouble here and there, but nothing huge, never getting caught with possession or anything like that. i was pretty strictly focused on school and i was pretty determined to pass all my classes to graduate and walk across the stage.

    then i re-met my former friend Gus, whom i'd met in like 3rd grade since i was best friends with this kid who lived like two houses away from him. i saw him at school and it was so trippy cause we hadn't hung out since way back then. the school we went to was full of hispanics, mexicans, tongans, all sorts of different races of people, the school's mostly known for all the fights that happen between tongans and shit, your average high school with some gang conflict and lots of fights going on. that doesn't really have anything to do with this but i'm just giving some background info. anyways, i was one of the white kids who always hung out with most of the other mexican kids. everyone always has their own groups that they hang out in at lunch and stuff, and i could usually be found hanging out with Gus and all the other mexican kids.

    anyways. i ended up talking to gus for a little bit, catching up on old times and stuff. i ended up asking him to get me a condom, cause i was too embarrassed to to into a store and buy some. and he ALWAYS had some, he's always been quite the ladies man. but yeah thats how me and him started talking again.

    after a few weeks of just talking in class, we got a lot closer. one day, right after lunch outside of our 5th period english class, he was like "dude let's get the fuck out of here and go smoke a blunt?" and i didn't want to. but after a few days he asked me again and i thought why not. i had been cutting my 7th period a couple times a week, i couldn't stand having an extra period and watching other people just walking out when i had another hour left of school. so i decided to cut with him and my other friend Brendan, who'd i'd known for a couple years already. we went to my house and smoked a blunt on my apartment balcony, the start of many many many chill days on that balcony to come. it's a pretty good memory, that was way back when we didn't really know how to roll joints and stuff. we'd have to double wrap them just to make them smokable. those were good days.

    then winter break came around and that's when i really heavily started smoking more often, like every day.

    we started doing that a lot more often, me, him and brendan always going to my house at 5th period. eventually it ended up just being me and him, and i was cutting more and more. it got really complicated and stressful, but the more i didn't go, the worse it would be to go back and face the embarrassment of not being there anymore and just showing up out of the blue. i didn't want to be one of those kids, but i turned out to be in the end. it got so bad that we were cutting like every single day. i was only going to like 1 or 2 classes a day, sometimes i'd just skip the whole day. i only went to my french class to see this girl i was interested in at the time. but yeah it got pretty bad. by the time finals came around we weren't going to school at all. our moms were getting calls every day saying "your son has missed one or more periods". it was really stressful, i kept getting grounded and all that hooha that comes with discipline. i thought it was the lowest peak i could be at.

    then i decided to transfer to a school in the next town, a nicer school full of asians and smart white kids who do all their homework. both me and my mom thought it would be a great decision since i could get a fresh start again junior year at a brand new school. i already knew all the kids from that school cause they went to the same middle school as me. everyone at that middle school was supposed to go to that high school in the first place, but i didn't want to because i heard it was horrible there. so i went for a while, a good 2 months i was keeping up with my grades, but still smoking on a daily basis. then i met another kid named mikey who was doing the same thing as me, except he'd been at that school all along. eventually this whole group formed, where we'd all cut every day and go to this one kid's house right around the corner. i started meeting up with gus every day again, we'd cut and meet up half way and go to my house and do the same thing. or his girlfriend would pick us up and we'd go to the beach or go do something fun. one time we went to santa cruz boardwalk and smoked a quarter between four people, then played lazer tag. which was fucking awesome.

    but anyways yeah it got back to when i was only going to 1 or 2 classes a day. and it was a huge problem. my seventeenth birthday came around, and i was really stoked. me and gus met up at the train station, the plan was to go over to the city and bring our bikes and smoke all day around the city. go to hippie hill, up and down haight, go look at some pipes and bongs, and just have an all around good time. we used to LOVE biking around the streets back then, we had real nice 10 speeds that were really good quality. we were waiting at the train station, i'm looking up at the electric sign that shows the date, being real happy that it was my birthday. the train came, and we couldn't find the car that people store their bikes in. so we just get on, hoping to try and walk our bikes through the aisles until we get to the bike car. right when we get on, this lady stopped us and kicked us off. she was losing her temper, we were just trying to get to the bike car. i asked "if we get off will you just wait for us to get back on the bike car?" and she was like "NO GET OUT!" so we were getting pretty pissed. then another dude comes out of nowhere and starts cussing at us and pushing us out of the train. it was really fucking stupid, we bought our tickets and everything. they kicked us off and we decided to wait for the next train.

    about 10 minutes later two cops show up and start harassing us telling us that we were insulting the caltrain workers and shit. it was really stupid, then they said "can we search you?" and gus straight up said no. he said "i know my rights, i do not give consent to search." and the cop said "well now that you said no i have reason to believe you have something illegal on you, so i'm gonna search you anyways." he just starts searching and he finds the weed and we get in trouble yada yada. he drives gus back to his school and me back to mine.

    this event really changed everything in my life, cause once i got back to my school i had to have a fat talk with the dean and my mom about what we were gonna do. he decided to expel me, but my counselor wanted to help me plan things out first, so we decided on going to adult school. which is where i've been for the passed year.

    now the total problem is just that i'm scared to start going to school again. i've been fucking off for the passed two years, just getting high every day and not focusing on school. i've been through a few jobs since then but lately it's been real hard to find one. i just started my first day of city college, and i'm just really fucking worried that i'm not going to be able to keep up. my mom and her boyfriend are making drastic efforts to pay for my intuition and supplies and stuff. i really absolutely need to stick to this, i can't fuck off anymore.

    i'm just scared that i'm not gonna be able to cope with all the work coming at me at once, i'm not used to it anymore. i mean of course it's easy to say "okay i can't fuck off anymore, i absolutely have to do good in school" but obviously it's easier said than done.

    ever since that winter break after the first semester of sophomore year, i've been smoking like every single day. of course there are days where i didn't, but still, i smoke every time i get the chance to. i feel like in order to do good in college i have to cut back, or if necessary, quit. but i haven't cut back or quit since the day i started. i've never took a break cause i had to, i never really felt the need to, because i never HAD to. but i feel like i just really need to cut back and it's hard to since it doesn't seem to be taking much effect in my life right now. but i know it will in the future, which is why i'm worried. i MUST do good. this fucking college determines the rest of my life. the decisions i make now are the decisions i'm gonna have to live with forever. i have to succeed. if i don't i'll be fucking damned. i can't even stand to describe the stress i'd have if i couldn't live my dream.

    BTW, sorry for all the little side comments, i didn't know i was gonna type this long of a story. just wanted to give some background.

    so GC i guess i'm coming to you for help, advice, anything.. i just don't know what to do. i don't know if i should cut back or not. i don't know what it's like to be caught up in school anymore. all i know right now is how to be lazy about things and how to avoid doing work and how to slide by with the bare minimum. i don't want that. not at all. i want to be able to get A's and do great in school. i want my life to get back on track. so to all you stoners who smoke all the time but know how to keep it at a steady pace while keeping track of schoolwork, or to anyone who has any words of wisdom for me, please help me out...:(
     
  2. Hey man...
    Your story is very interesting. Everybody goes through rough times in high school, at least I did. It's hard to stay focused and do work when you're tempted to just have fun.

    I think you will be fine. You know how serious it is to get a college education, and bottom line, this will get you through. I struggle because I hate doing work and would much rather learn everything and not have papers or work to do for it, but that's just how it goes. In the end, the motivation to succeed will conquer your lack of motivation in the present. College is great because you have way more independence. I've gotten an A in a class I never attended. It's all about time management. You will get the hang of it in no time :):wave:

    Best of luck!
     
  3. #3 Misc, Jan 21, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2010
    I've been feeling the same way dude; been smoking every day for a year and a half now... and even though it hasn't really impacted my grades, it's hurt my study habits--I always feel like I'm rushing to do things in the nick of time. Yet I've come out on top every semester somehow. So unless you're nosediving hard, I wouldn't think much of it... freshman year for me was a joke.. it is undoubtedly the best time in your college career to get continuously fucked up.

    Though I'm a junior now, and I'm still doing the same shit.. :rolleyes:

    Relegate a few hours of your day to studying; don't get high in the mornings. Save it for night time, and I think you'll be straight.
     
  4. i smoked everyday after studying for finals, last semester.

    i passed all my classes with B+/-'s.

    i need to cut back cuz im spending too much money and being really lazy.
    but i dont really buy anything so...
    and i still procrastinate, but i get things done on time. im not an irresponsible person.

    but then when i go on t-breaks....its so fucking boring that i smoke anyways. the longest t-break ive had, been smoking 5-7 times a week for the past year and a half, was a week. but that was a long time ago. sooo....

    i hope i made sense.
     

  5. This too. This is my style of work. Everyone's different... but this is good advice.
     
  6. I can't really advise you on your life choices as this is such a major one. I will say I was very much the same as you during this time. I shouldn't haven even graduated because I skipped 27 days of class.

    I will say I wish I would have taken a break or gone to community college (or any cheap college). Even though I gave up on school in favor of getting fucked up with friends I wanted to jump head first into college. I ended up going to a school at 28 mother fucking thousand a semester almost purely on student loans. Went for my first semester and once again, didn't go to class. In college there is so much more opportunity to smoke blunts, drink beers, and play xbox. I then thought "I won't make the same mistake twice!" and returned for another semester. Same shit different tune.

    I wasted almost 60 grand on total expenses without a single credit to show. Don't get me wrong it was the best time of my life, but like you said before, It's the best and the worst.

    You need to find something that pushes and motivates you more then drugs.
     
  7. #7 Misc, Jan 21, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2010
    I feel like education is an obligation to myself and to society; it may not always be first priority, but it is certainly the most important thing on my agenda.

    A friend of mine started working immediately out of high school, and didn't get around to college until he was 25. He says that period of his life really benefited him though; when he first got out of high school, he was confused and unsure of what he wanted to do with his life. (which is a pretty common feeling) By going ahead and gaining some work experience, you'll learn more about yourself and what you enjoy doing, and your decision will become substantially easier. Plus you'll have several years of work experience to slap onto a resume, and a decent starting college fund.

    It sounded like a good idea to me; I really wish I had done it that way, just to experience work before committing myself to one field. Though sometimes it may be best to just go for it, and to figure things out based upon where life takes you.
     
  8. Jus smoke after you do your homework? Make sure you do it the homework to I looovvve to procrastinate but I always feel so fucking accomplished after I finish my homework so I get it done after school after I eat something. Also I have my GED to congrats on getting that. Im in my second semester at a community college and it's been pretty easy. IDK bout your school but at my school if you miss like 4 days of class they drop you so you like have to go. Just get on a regular schedule of going to school coming home chillin for a while then do your homework and study and eventually it will become like a habit? I dunno good luck to you OP in accomplishing your goals
     
  9. You just have to grit your teeth and do it

    It sounds like you know that you screwed up by skipping school so frequently, but it also sounds like you don't regret it too much

    You said it yourself: your mom and her boyfriend are going out on a limb here for you, and you have to do it for them. It's not like you're going off to war, all you have to do is resist the urge to throw away massive amounts of money for every class you skip. The weed will still be waiting for you when class is over.
     
  10. i do, man. you don't know how badly i wish i got to stay in school. every day when i'd wake up i'd forget that everyone else is back in school. i realized how much it sucked not having much of a social life and i would've done anything to stay in high school. i do regret cutting every day, it was what caused me to miss out on the last two years of high school. i saw everyone having an awesome time at football games and stuff, and it really depressed me to not be a part of that. i hated it. it was the one thing on my mind that i wished i could've fixed.

    being in college and generally back in school is so much of a privilege to me, i can't wait to meet all these new people and learn about music, it's truly what i want to do. i want to be able to look forward to going to school, because of both the classes and the people to interact with. yesterday i saw so many attractive girls that i have yet to talk to. i've been so isolated from a social life that it's made me very independent and used to being alone so much. i mean i've stuck with a good 4 or 5 best friends, but i haven't been a part of a big class since sophomore year. once i was in adult school and completely done with high school, i realized how much of a drag it was NOT to be in high school. i really came around after it all happened. i talk to all these people who are still in high school and they hate it so much, but i think you have to go through what i did in order to really appreciate having a high school life and being able to see your peers every day. it's really such a privilege to everyone who's in high school.
     
  11. I say just JUMP in man, let your feelings about everything kind of fall to the side, and just go with the flow homie. the Ocean denies no rivers
     
  12. #12 INRIhab, Jan 22, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2010
    What's the alternative to smoking pot? What would you do?

    EDIT: Sorry, that was unclear. Just think of some new hobbies or something that you'd do routinely when you're not high. Then put schoolwork around those activities. That way you'll have days when you do fun stuff and homework, and others when you can smoke and chill.
     
  13. You could always do your work and go to class high. Or go to class, and then get high after. Or pretty much just make a commitment to go to class. Invest in eye drops, do your homework before hand so you don't have to explain anything to professors/TA's. Many of the classes I took when I was in college could be easily passed with just daily attendance and finished homework. If you feel like going to class and doing homework would require too much motivation on your part, then maybe you aren't ready for a college education yet? I'm not trying to put you down although that last sentence does sound insulting, but there's no shame in taking a year or two, or however long it takes you, to work and figure out what you want to do with your life. Working a crappy job for a year with no hope of improvement or advancement might help you see class as an opportunity instead of a chore.
     

  14. Bingo, worked at the same place since i was 16 and the job sucks, quit school for a year and now im going back and i take classes way more serious and as a way to better my self later in life for a career.
     
  15. yeah i already see it as an opportunity. i really am thankful just to be enrolled. i don't really see it as something i have to do, but more as something i want and need to do. it's for the benefit of my entire life. but yeah, thanks. i guess i really just need to make school my top priority. no matter if i smoke or not, i must get my assignments done and show up to class.
     
  16. Bingo! That's a good attitude to have. Even if you show up to class and don't say a word, it's infinitely better than skipping. Like you mentioned before, skipping class can become a bad habit, and if you skip a few days in a row it becomes harder and harder to return. Just do your homework, show up to class, and more often than not that alone will get you a passing grade.
     
  17. yeah thanks:) it's not the skipping class i'm worried about it's just everything adding up, like homework, tests, assignments, and attendance all together. i mean it's basically a community college so it can't be THAT hard, but i'm just scared since i'm rusty and used to dicking around at school for two years.
     

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