Well I dated this girl for two years and i loved her to death, she gave me emotional, sexual, and overall happiness and support. Then it happened....she told me she told me she made out with other guys 4 times. While we where dating. the thing is she doesn't know why she let it happen she loves me she says but she lied to me hard, We talked about it and realized our relationship wasn't as great as we thought and we should take time, I made her give back my ring, and the entire the time she is almost on her knees crying, I feel like shes Doug from "weeds" lost her sense of direction and did something she'll regret the rest of her life. She wants me back but doesn't want to ever risk hurting me again. I'm giving her time to think about herself and she says she wants to become a less selfish person. we want to start a new love instead of fixing the old, learn each other be a part of each other. I have to tell you guys that i have seen people cry to manipulate someone...over and over again and even people do it to me. Her tears where actual tears of sadness,she didnt want to let me go. I didnt want to let her go. I was so angry and upset. When she left I stayed up all night thinking and finally fiqured if she is willing to start a new relationship, show me that she can be a woman that I deserve and that she actually wants to be and actually see if it can end up making it stronger is it so wrong of me to try? I'm young and stupid but I don't want to live my life thinking what if.
In my experience, when a girl goes behind you more than once and doesn't reveal it to you until a long time afterwards, she is likely to do it again. However, I'm pretty naive and optimistic about people and stuff so I would give her a shot if and only if... 1. You think the benefit of your relationship working out is worth the pain she could put you through if she does it again. 2. You can legitimately forgive her and not resent her for it. If you resent her or hold it against her, even if she tries all she can to be the best girlfriend ever, your relationship is pretty doomed imo. Just remember, you show people how to treat you. Don't let her be less than you deserve.
I actually went through almost exactly the same thing about a year and a half ago and i know exactly what you mean. I think what you did was the right thing because no matter how upset and sorry she may be about it, its not going to make you forgive and forget that it happened immediately (or at all). I made the mistake of not immediately breaking up with my bf and all i did was think about what happened and cried about it all the time. I ended up breaking up with him for like 3 months before he wanted to get back together. After that, everything has been great and we are still together. My advice (as a girl) to you would definitely be to take some time. If she really cares about you and your relationship, then she will for sure not do anything stupid and make an effort to prove that she cares and is willing to work things out. If not, then its not worth your time or heartbreak because something like that can happen again. I also don't really buy the fact that "she didnt know how she let it happen" especially since it was more than once. And if she said that she doesnt want to risk hurting you again, I think she might not care as much as she says...I know for a fact that if you truly love someone you would NEVER even think there would be a change you would lie and cheat in the future. I'm not trying to say that she doesn't care about you, this is just what I think about the situation from my past experiences. I know how hard it is for you and I really hope everything works out. Just take the time and think about everything and don't do anything that will make you more unhappy...and just remember, whatever you decide, that you didn't do anything wrong.
well we finally agreed that we are over and hopefully in a few months, if she changes we can start talking again and really get to know each other because that was a big issue we never really started dating we just got together. If in a few months i go through another relationship, finally move on and it doesn't hurt each other we can start to try another relationship. We didn't just lose each other we lost great friends we had made. We hope over time we might become friends again and be what we never where. If it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't.
this situation pretty much happened to me.. but i was 16 and immature, so i fucked her best friend and called it fair. :/ don't do what i did.
BRO. she made out with 4 other guys...while in a relationship/dating w/ you. She'll do it again n again. but hey. if you think GC is wrong and that she won't make u hurt..just be prepared. all i can really say.
I'm not getting back with her, and if i ever did it wouldn't be based on the old relationship. cause its gone. It would be after months of just chatting here and there building a friendship first then let it grow if it can. I'm content now with not being with her. If i see she does truly change for the better than i might try but other than that its over. cherish the memories and look to the future is all i can do now
I feel as if I fucked up, I wrote her a letter saying all my true feelings and not just my emotions that keep swinging back and forth. I deleted her number out of my phone, that letter was the last communication from me to her until she calls ME,not the other way around. In the back of my mind I'm just worried now that it'll drive her away or remind her that she can change and that I do forgive her for my own self. I finally had my break down... I let it all flow out at the top of my lungs in my car. Now I finally can start to piece myself back together.
People don't change like you change your clothes dude. She has to earn your trust again before you go out, and even then it should be your choice alone. I would have to give my honest opinion that you can do better. Let her go and you'll probably feel much better in a week or so. Either way good luck buddy. Hop everything works for you
First thing you gotta realize, love is giving someone the chance to devastate you, but trusting that they don't. I got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship with a girl, and it goes similar to yours. She actually cheated on me early on in the relationship, but I was young and forgiving .. so I gave it a shot. The relationship was rocky, but I've gotten out of it so much, but sadly it didn't last. Though I still love and talk to her, I constantly think of "what if." As I type this I'm pursing her once again. I'd do anything for this woman, but she has a sancho. What I've realized is we're young, part of life is going through trials that are challenging both physically and emotionally. Live a life that doesn't give you "what-ifs" because those thoughts are what are going to constantly bring you down. But at the same time don't be foolish about it. If it was meant to be, it'll be. Otherwise just take out of that relationship important lessons to help you with all future endeavors.