It could be lengthy so don't read if it's really not worth it to you, I'm stoned looking for advice on a friendship situation I REALLY appreciate it too, im in a state of mental fuckin stress and I need a sack really bad but it's dry as haell. So I have a friend named John, he's pretty chill but I usually see him only when he wants to smoke. I've smoked him up a shit load too. So John hits me up Saturday saying there's a party at his girlfriends college and I'm like legit, and he says he's going to a rap concert before. So he says concert ends around 10, but that he needs to know if i'm coming because if I don't he'll have to ride back with the girl who took him to the concert. I'm like fuck the concert, too expensive. So he says be down at the college around 10. So at 9-9:30 I call him for directions, he's at a loud concert and tells me to text his friend. I do, and his friend says "i think....not sure." So that's what I have for directions..."i think...not sure." Now I could mapquest, but I'm nowhere near home at this point. I'm prob a good 20 min from my pad in a further out area of my county. They then tell me the concert is STILL going on around 10-1030, so I'm like fuck it, IDK it's getting really late I'd rather chief. So I smoke bongs with my friend Ben, im incredibly ripped, and John doesn't hit me up until 1am to tell me the show is over. Now I'm all sorts of high from 5 bong rips of dank, and this guy didn't give me directions or the time when to even be there(he said 10, but its past 10 now and I havent heard from him). He just expected me to fucking be there to party and eventually be his ride home. I had no idea where to meet them, and no idea how to get there. Period. Now it's him, his gf, and his best friend flaming me down because I didn't pick him up and I "left him there." It's a 45 min drive there, 45 min drive back. I didn't feel responsible for picking him up, he didn't even tell me when the fuck he'd be good to party(all he told me was there will be a lot of parties there). He pretty much just expected me to find my way and know what time to be there. He originally said this shit was 10pm, not 1am. What do you guys think? Am I in the major wrong here? I'm literally getting bitched at and cursed out for it, because he couldn't find a ride home until the following evening. He stayed on his friends dorm floor, but his mom had to go get him cuz he has no car. So he got in mad trouble apparently from his parents for having to go get his ass My thing is, I don't feel responsible at all. Man, if you're worried about getting home maybe you should call me to see if I'm still coming ? That way you can know if you should ride home with the girl? I've been called an inconsiderate douche that doesn't know how to man up and a tool all by these kids that were good friends before the incident. It seems to me, you should be responsible for YOURSELF, im not your fucking Dad Am I wrong? am I right? I'm fucking confused as to whether I should be sticking to my guns because I tried to explain all of this to them but they just bitch back saying im not owning up to my shit.
tell your stupid ass friends your not their fucking chauffeur and they can suck a dick. fuck them man if they told you 10 and didn't give you directions or any information until 1 they can find their own way home. its not your responsibility to give them dorro to door service. if they were asking you a for a ride as a favor thats cool but they gotta let you know whats going on.
It entirely depends on what you said to them beforehand. -You leave your house start and start on your way there -You call your buddy, but it's to loud so you talk to his buddy -His buddy gives you bad directions -You can't find the party so you say fuck it and go home So after that did you call them back and let them know that you can't find the place and that you were giving up, OR did you just not tell them. If you didn't tell them, you're an asshole for letting them believe that they had a ride.
Yea, I didn't let him know. That's exactly why he's so pissed. But let's be real, 1am man, if he told me the actual TIME to be there, AKA 1am, I would've clearly said no, I cannot drive you. And when he said he needed a lift back, all I said was that I'd go, nothing like "I got you man, your fine for a ride," etc. I was going to take him back given that we started partying sooner, not later. I'm not driving home smashed at 6am or what have you. As for me not telling him, that was a mistake on my part, but he too had mistakes on his part. I was trying to explain to him that though I made a mistake, it is not MY problem because he made as much of a mistake not calling me to see where I am or what I'm doing. He texted me at 1am saying "you coming" and that is it. Another mistake on his part would be not even letting me know when the show was over, and just wingin it hoping I'd magically find my way there and know exactly where to meet him. I was in my car ready to head down 9-930, I didn't promise him a lift. I said I'd go at 10, not 1am. Then, no directions, so voila, I didn't even bother. I still don't think I'm wrong, but cheers
Let me clarify my point. He had a ride that he gave up because you said you would drive him home, you knew for a fact that he was relying on you for a way home and you chose not to tell him when you changed your mind. Whatever he did doesn't matter, him being wrong doesn't make you less wrong.
You were his designated ride BUT that was based on the fact that you two would be partying TOGETHER. You were going to be in the same location, which he was going to inform you of, and you were going to take him home WITH you. You didnt agree to wait until he had his fill of party, THEN go OUT OF THE WAY to pick him up and drop him off. thats bullshit. he was supposed to get you there by 10, not 1. I understand concerts run late, but still, it shouldnt have been "you comin" when hes done, maybe hey where are you, while they were still at the party, he obviously wasnt enjoying your company, he just wanted your wheels. he wasnt concerned when you werent there to chill, just to drive. it sucks, but, I'd side with you. even if I were at the party, lol.
I'd probably call him an ignorant douchebag, and just be like fuuuck it. I mean you didn't even know where to pick him up at. They don't even sound like friends worth having anyway.
He was with the girl at the concert until 1am. He didn't check with me, he didn't drive home with her, he just said fuck it I hope this kid comes. The concert was near the college, so he left the concert and didn't bother checking in with me at all. And yea, you're telling me stuff I already know. I was in the wrong, but in no way was he in the right, he did just as much as me to make this situation better: jack shit.
that's how I feel about the situation. it kinda stressed me to see my friend bitchin me out when I realized it was a fuckup on both sides. Felt like all the blame was on me for no reason but eh. And to top it off my old friend who hasnt talked to me in awhile that was backin this kid up never heard my side of the story, and neither did his GF so they both just flamed my ass on the internet and I had no chance to explain myself. Lame But after I posted this I just said to myself fuck it, still interesting to read what you all think but I'm just letting it go. If he wants to hate on me for that night he can, it proves his friendship isn't as strong as I thought it'd be. I mean, I smoke this kid up a lot when I get dank and he bought me 5 dollars worth of food one time. If I gave this kid a bill for all the times I chiefed him up, it'd be like 50-100 bucks plus im sure. So I felt like shocked when he was calling me inconsiderate and shit, im like...dude you obviously havent appreciated SHIT ive done for you.