Feels good to be out of prison after 6 years

Well, not too long ago, I was released from a hell-hole of a place that will strip the strongest man down to the bare minimum, test his morals and mental stability. I lived in that place for 6 years, and can honestly say, I'm done with the life of constantly looking to see if the police or somebody is behind my back. It all started when I was 17, getting arrested as an adult in the state of Texas, and being put on probation. Not too long after, I proceeded to fuck that up, and eventually, it landed me in front of Judge John R. Roach in Collin county, Texas. "Mr. *****, we have maxed out all of our resources with you. We've tried treatment, education, and even community supervision, none of it seems to have paid off. This time I'm going to give a disposition that might make a difference in your life, but if not in the right way, you'll be here again soon. I remand you to the custody of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice for a period of time not to exceed 7 years. Credit is given for 388 days time-served in Dallas County Jail. Good Luck, Sir." And that's where it all started... If anyone has any questions I'm more than open to answer them. Maybe I can tell someone something that'll make them think twice before doing something stupid

 

I was charged with possession of a controlled substance 1 to 4 grams which is what got me on probation at 17, and the charge that got me sent to prison was aggravated robbery, with a couple of DUI's and a trespassing in between.
 

I would say that for the charge, yes 7 years was completely necessary, for any act of violence should be treated very seriously. It didn't take me 7 years to come to my "epiphany" by any means, shit, after the first Texas July and August in a dorm with 800 other men and inside temps rising regularly to 105 degrees, (No AC in Texas prisons) and just being around people who didn't care whether you live or die, CO's who humiliated you any chance they got, being strip searched any time you step foot out of your housing unit, I realized that I wasn't cut out for this prison life. I found out while inside, that most of my actions were the result of a terrible addiction, and my own selfishness. I have a big heart, I'm not the hardened dope-fiend I made myself out to be. After about the 2nd year in, I came to terms with my own spiritual higher power, and cut the act. I feel as if I am "rehabilitated" if that still has any meaning anymore, but prison definitely didn't do that to me. While the environment I was in did provoke behavior changing actions, I could have just as easily fallen further into the criminal lifestyle hole, for my brother had members of the Aryan Circle trying to recruit me. (My brother and I were in the same unit, but he was in a different housing unit doing a much longer sentence.)

 

Marijuana was legalized in the state I reside in, on November 2, 2012. Amendment 64 protects residents, by allowing us to posses over 1 ounce if we grew it ourselves.
 

If you think prison is something to glorify, I promise you, you're distorted thinking will change quickly if you ever get there.

 

No sir, got to Breckenridge, CO on the 15th

 

Yes, had to spend my last 3 weeks in isolation, because I was in transit, but other than that, I never did anything to get put in the hole. It was shitty for the most part, 23 hour a day lock-down, 3 hours of recreation each week, and 3 showers a week, everywhere you go outside of your cell you're escorted in shackles. It really can get you to thinking though. Out of the whole 7 years I was down, I did most of my writing in the last 3 weeks, writing about my plans to never come, writing music, apology letters etc.
 

I found out that the rape scare of going to prison is nowhere near as prevalent as people make it out to be. I'm a slim built white guy, and never had to deal with. In fact, the only time I've heard of it happening was when I was in my first transfer unit, and some homosexual guy owed another a debt for a card game, and chose to pay it with anal for a week. Not sure if that's considered rape though. Another misconception, not everyone in prison is a bad guy. My first cell-mate was doing 20 years for beating his wife into a coma, but after living with him for 2 and a half years, I came to realize everyone has their demons, and his was something he ended up regretting. Not a bad guy, just didn't have a proper outlet for his anger. No smiles in prison. Out of the whole time I was there, the only time I saw anyone smiling was in visitation with their families. The most recognizable thing though, a lot of the inmates in there, put up this hardened front, but when conversing with them and just being around them, you realize more than just seeming like a hard-ass, these tattooed up Aryan Brotherhood members are the ones feeling the most pain, and are weak, but were raised to think showing emotion is a sign of weakness. Little things such as Commissary stopping selling their favorite granola bar, or the size pencils they wanted would set some guys off into a crying fit, literally. Prison is more of a sad place than anything in my opinion.