Lately I've been feeling really frustrated with the state of the world and I spend a lot of my time wondering why I'm stuck living in this time period.. I walk around everyday and I feel that I am just so many levels detached from most everyone else.. and I feel just such a deep and profound sadness when I look around at how sick and fragmented society is. I want to reach out and connect, to show love and compassion and lift people out of their ruts, but the problem is, people live at so much more of a superficial level that I just don't feel capable of connecting with many people anymore. I have been trying to practice the tenets of living as a Bodhisattva, and this helps me find my own sense of inner peace, but I also feel like as a result I've lost any sense of worldly ambition. I don't care about material possessions, I don't care about money, I don't care about sports or this election or topics that so many people expect me to give a shit about. I live day to day looking for little joys, through random acts of kindness to making my friends laugh and honing myself through exercise and basketball in particular. I feel very lonely and misunderstood even by my closest friends and family members.. It's as if I know they love me, but I also know they just aren't capable of really understanding where I'm truly coming from, so I don't even bother trying to explain anymore. I just try to be there, lovingly, for them. All the pain and suffering I see in them, I FEEL within myself, like I absorb the energies of everyone I am around for better or worse. I can actually feel the emotions of my loved ones from far away, and know when they are hurting, and I hurt too. Everyday is a constant struggle to relax myself and combat the anger that bubbles up inside me at all the negativity in the world.. I feel like a born fighter but at the same time, I know I can't hurt other people and there's no point in committing any acts of violence, so I find myself trying to contemplate where these feelings come from and wrestling with them internally. Some days I feel very calm, drifting peacefully through my existence, and other days I feel like there is a tempest of emotions raging in my head all day just beneath the surface. It's exhausting.. I'm desperate for a soulmate too . I haven't kissed a girl since last fall, but I don't have it in me to try to be promiscuous anymore, I just want to find a girl that feels like I do about today's world, but it's tiring and lonely... Thanks for reading, if you did.. I just needed to get some of these feelings off my chest. Anyone else out there feel similarly? Peace and love guys
Hmm you don't care about material possessions or money. Have you ever had any possessions that were actually worth caring about? Money is just a piece of paper society makes it have value and that value is why so many people care about it and if you have enough money you can buy almost everything sex, cars, food, bongs, etc. because of that value people put on it. Just smoke a bowl and try finding some new hobbies that will make you feel better.
I've had possessions I've enjoyed, sure, but eventually everything ends up lost or broken or used up.. so, I am grateful I have the clothes and tools that I have, but they don't mean much to me. Sooner or later they will be gone and I'll either have new things or I won't, but either way I'll deal just fine. Looking around my room I think my favorite possessions are probably this futon I'm sitting on, my trusty backback I've had since like middle school and a collection of a couple champion sweatshirts. I like my laptop but I don't feel any attachment to it.. if it were to break the only real downside would be I'd have to do all my homework on a computer at the library, which isn't really a big deal..
From what you've just shared, you seem to think of yourself as fundamentally different, or existentially privileged, and in doing so you other the people you interact with on a daily basis. Perhaps the symptoms you're describing are are the cause of your perspective, not a reaction.
I'm not so sure what you mean by existentially privileged? I don't think of myself as any better or worse than anyone else, I'm just one being out of billions trying to find my way.. I also strive on a daily basis to show everyone acceptance and kindness, and I consciously use my willpower to cultivate a demeanor of peace and openness to all.. I just tend to find that everyone is so divided and disconnected from one another that often it feels my efforts go unnoticed and I feel alone in a sea of people.
This is so true, I guess just try and make the best of things for the time being because our time on earth won't last forever.
Can you expand on this, I read the op and could relate - and reading what you said resonates too, but would love to hear more.
i feel like everyone is the same and i'm this lone person who stands out in my own head because i lack the same appreciation of false values and this shitty illusion of society all of those things are part of this false illusion of society. some people, unlike us, don't even know that there's a difference between life and society. that's how brainwashed and absorbed into their shitty culture they are. i also couldn't give a shit about material possessions. i just think with love and positive energy, but i never seem to get that back. it's actually depressing to me to know that i live in a world of hate and confusion. most people only think about themselves. i feel like i think about everyone else and it gets me nowhere i lost all of my friends. my family could never understand me for who i truly am i'm almost exactly the same the only girl i loved treated me like shit for 10 months. i got her pregnant twice and she had an abortion and a miscarriage from hitting herself. really fucked up. and she fucked up my chance with the only other girl i've had strong feelings for. so now without friends, or family, or anyone out there to love, i feel i am drastically alone if you need to talk to someone about your problems i'm here for you man, because i can relate to a ton of what you mentioned
Tastytrichomes, sweet name haha... I appreciate the offer to talk through my problems but I'm doing alright. Last night I had a great smoke sesh with a couple buddies and I've been plowing through my schoolwork at a good rate. I'm keeping myself moderately busy when I can and then relaxing for a little bit every day too. I'm keeping my peace fine and still noticing some heartwarming moments everyday. And, best of all, I went to work a few hours after I posted this and ended up spending a lot of my shift chatting and flirting with one of my coworkers.. she's actually really awesome. It definitely lifted my day up something huge.. So yeah, everything's all good.. I just needed to vent some feelings. Glad to know I'm not the only one feelin that way though. That part about your girl sucks by the way man. I actually cringed reading it
Let me preface this by saying that this is not meant to be a judgement of you as an individual. This is just my interpretation based on really limited information. If I'm way off-base then I apologize. While you may not view yourself as better than anyone, you certainly seem to think that you have a unique and privileged insight, one which others do not have or chose to resist. Of course we all have a unique perspective of the world, but you seem to link yours with a disconnect from normality. You said yourself that you feel your efforts go unnoticed and you feel alone. I think that maybe part of that has to do with how you "other" those around you. I am using this term in the sense of social identity; the notion that you position others as part of fundamentally different social units; units which you do not identify with. I apologise for being so abstract, but this is derived from my occupational understand of humans in groups... this particular situation is obviously more relevant to you as an individual, so I'm sort of limited in how linearly this applies. You're emphasizing the differences and you're omitting the commonalities. You have a great deal in common with those around you, it's impossible not to, you share cultural identity. Instead of trying to get others to meet you in your interests and your particular outlook, maybe you need to compromise and meet them halfway. Engage them in their interests (or appreciate their disinterests). Also -- on a related note; do you have any form of artistic expression? Any hobbies? I think this is extraordinarily important in social health. In my experiences, there will always be an existential niche that you cannot adequately communicate to others. I speak and write all day at work, but I still have a strong need to express myself through paint and sculpture -- there are simply ideas and concepts in my head that CANNOT be expressed through language. If I got a long time without creating some form of artwork, I totally go stir crazy. I become extremely agitated and easily frustrated. I get anxious because I am bottling things up in my head and am not relieving the pressure.
This is a very important period to be alive, man. It may seem like hell right now but we're currently in the transition to a new and better beginning, I believe. I can relate with you here. Everyone's different; but what worked for me was to just be your compassionate and loving self without letting anyone's response, thoughts, opinions hold you back. Of course I'm not talking about being an ignoramous; but negativity is never good to hang onto if it's there. Follow that inside which drives you and your material needs will come without any effort. You are absorbing too much. If you are confident in yourself and project your positive energies, then those around you will become the absorbers. There is nothing wrong with expressing humility but moderately doing so, in my opinion, is key to not feeling so low. There is a lot of negativity in the world. Do what you can to add a little sunshine - like you said, you say hello and try to make friends - there is a start. You are not the owner of the world. Though you may feel the urge to change it you have to accept that that is just too big of a responsibility for just one person. Perhaps join a movement that means something to you. This sounds to me like your ego is battling against your higher self. You have to remember that girls are not attracted to depression. You can't let the outside world effect your inner, as hard as it sounds, it is possible. Blissful awareness is key. Peace and love bro.
Well, I know my perspective is unique - just because nobody else sees through my eyes. But then again, I don't see through anyone else's either. BUT, I also know that we all see the same things and suffer the same ways. I feel we are all one: how we think about ourselves becomes how we think about others, and how we treat others in turn becomes how others treat us. In essence, our biological bodies are just separate physical vessels through which the universal consciousness manifests itself. So, when I walk out into the world and am around people, I actively TRY to connect with everyone; I enjoy looking people in the eye and lifting them up with a smile.. I have the ability to take away people's suffering and infuse them with confidence and strength just by meeting their eyes and communicating non-verbally. I can also pretty much instantly sense and see people's pains and insecurities - It just screams out right from their eyes and their body language. And when I see this, I empathize with and want to help these people. But, many times they just see me as a stranger, and are wary of me; they'll avoid eye contact, shuffle by me, often times incorporating subconscious mannerisms which speak of nervousness and apprehension, or even sometimes blatant anger and hostility. It's a non-verbal communication, but it speaks crystal clear: "I see you, but instead of choosing to react to your presence with calm, open-minded acceptance, I'm just going to ignore you and stay totally separate." Here at my college, MOST of the kids that I interact with give me this response, and that's where my feelings of loneliness and disconnection come from. Because I WANT to connect with everyone, but so many people just choose to reject you. And that just kind of makes me sad, because I just wish they had the innate peace and confidence to meet me gaze and receive my love, even if they aren't ready to reciprocate it. That's all
Kimball: Thank you for the insight and perspective, lots of good stuff there You're definitely right, I need to not let people's responses get to me. And I'd say, most days I am really good with this. But I'm human and sometimes you just get those days where it's harder to totally remind yourself of this and keep the internal motivation high. About absorbing too much.. you're probably right, but it's how I've always been, as early as I can remember. When I'm around people, I feel their emotions through their eyes and am extremely sensitive to emotional charges in the air. I love existing this way, but as they say, sometimes "the truth hurts."
OP you sound as if your psychic... I would look into ways to shield yourself from taking other people's energies. I have been experiencing the same thing though... things will get better humans need connection and after awhile it will come hell or high water I believe
I hope you are right! And I don't know about psychic but I have definitely felt many times during my life like that I have some strong extra-sensory perception.. I like to think our minds are subconsciously all connected, after all subconscious brain activity comprises over 90% of your brain activity. I also think the phenomenon of dreaming (and similar stuff like astral projection and travel and people who can visit others in dreams and pass energy) is amazing.. really our brains are capable of tremendous feats if we learn to act on intuition and let the subconscious take over and "guide us" so to speak.
This is a psychic ability of awareness; and like sensual awareness, it can be sharpened and controlled so that you can connect with those who you feel would be most beneficial so share a bond with.
Great posts in here, its so so easy to let the sadness just immerse you. Its much harder to stay afloat and try to make sense of daily life, and take what positives you can from routines and monotony. Do good deeds, think good thoughts, speak kind words.
Are You Highly Sensitive? - Learning to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Soul That has a lot about sensitive personalities. Does it bug you that the people' emotions get to you or? This movie also is pretty cool http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1397093/
knowledge can be unsettling if not accompanied with acceptance. my suggestion is to accept what's around you or sacrifice yourself to realize your dream.