I used to smoke salvia all the time, before I ever smoked weed. It was the first drug I ever did (besides painkillers after surgery) and I felt constant depersonalization. I remember one time I went to a church retreat (I was a big christian back then) and while everyone was singing and worshipping or something I felt completely out of touch with myself and reality. I still get the feeling sometimes but not as bad, weed actually helped. Maybe salvia is what does it?
I feel such things almost all the time for the last few years or so.. ever since i started getting into astral projection..i feel as though my soul/seat of awareness..is hovering above my body.. i look at other people, people based in the physical..and i see how weak and powerless they are.. i start to question what reality is, and then my brain starts to augment the constructs around me..im always telling myself "this isnt real, this isnt real." i still go about my life, but it seems almost forced, like i have to do the mundane things that i see as pointless, just to seem normal as everyone else, i feel like i have to pretend.. i want to love, but then i feel the emotion of hatred..and vice versa, i feel love when im trying to hate. my dreams take on a new reality for me..i prefer to be dreaming in that reality for me, as it seems more real, more verifiable, and takes on more substance and importance than this current ''reality'' or is the dream im living now, and my ''dreams'' are my actual reality
I actually saw your post in the'' things you didn't know about till now'' thread. I was going to message you. Most the things you said i can relate too. It's a strange feeling and in fact my uncle had this too. He said when he got over the anxiety he learned how to use it to his advantage, such as reading peoples feelings and emotions.
this all sounds so much like what ive been going through lately. after some point of trying so hard to feel numb i lost the whole purpose.lately im better with some random panic attacks every now and then.and when im not panicing or stressing its like i know i should but choose not to.lifes very wierd lately for me too.like its paused yet constantly changing.. and by that i mean the last 4 5 months. when i panic though and let my life influence me the only conclusion i get is how vain are everything.and fake.and i get depressed and angry.so damn angry. then i get sick of myself and obligate me to stop thinkin about whatever ive been thinkin and just be.and thats what i usually do.go out and party and get high with whatever.when i realise why i do it it just makes me evern worst..its like the reasons are a circle and only the facts and people change in my life.its very hard to describe. generally i dont feel like myself anymore and cant realise if this is myself?but then again how did this happen?how did i happen? and then i think that im just being paranoid and that im still the girl i used to be. i dont know..sometimes i cant decide if im going crazy or just understand things better. matt and everyone feeling like that or worst or anything,hope u feel better.
idk...i've had depersonalization since 6th grade, the hardest thing to do to get better seems to admit that you have a problem and don't think about it on a daily basis. smoking weed only makes it worse, i know it's gonna suck but you're gonna have to quit for a while for things to get better. start eating better, stop smoking completely, go work out a lot, and within a few months you'll see some noticable changes. and seriously, it does not just randomally get better like durchii said(no offense) i've had this shit since 6th grade, i mean i've learned to cope with it since i've had it for that long...I started to take wellbutrin because i've heard it has positive effects but I only take a small dosage and i'm smoking daily so yeah... every day i wake up, from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to sleep I can't really stop thinking about it, imagine getting DPS(depersonalization disorder) in 6th grade as a kid and having NO clue what the fuck is going on. at first I thought it was ADD for some reason, and only last year after it had gotten literally 10000x worse, i figured out what it was. just try to keep yourself occupied as well as possible, the less you think about it the better. if anyone needs to some support PM me, i've been dealing with this for longer than you can imagine. i hate going to DPS message boards and hearing people say "oh man i've had this for 4-8 months and I just can't take it anymore, I want to die" i've sucked it up for almost 10 years now, the last year or so i've just been coping with a lot of xanax though.
wellbutrin sucks..i took that when i was a teenager..all it did was make me more depressed, and i gained 30 lbs.
it's generally hit or miss with anti-depressants(I know wellbutrin isn't technically and anti-depressant, but yeah). the doctor thinks i'm taking 150mg daily but i only take 75mg, i've heard too many bad things about anti-depressants, most people take 300mg a day though.
That sounds exactly like depersonalization/ Derealization. I think a lot more people experiance these feeling then we think. Just look how many people on this site have said they do. There needs to be more research on it. I have heard of something called the linden method which is meant to really help.
yeah, if anyone finds any way to cure this other than what i mentioned(stop ALL mind altering substances, work out more, eat very fucking healthy, and wait a while) let me know, i've been dealing with this for 10 years i'd kind of like to be mentally stable again.
i couldnt read the whole thread cause i dont have so much time but yh whats going on in my mind sounds a lot like it.tthanks for all the info though.ill keep an eye on the thread and read more when i get the time.sounds like im not the only who feels like im going insane..
haha..ur not alone in that.. maybe this is proof of the new shift in human awareness and counciousness????????? not being the only one who feels out of this world, not apart of it, set apart, different..that makes sense
a part of this world..which world exactly..mine yours or anothers? i feel like apart of this universe although it confuses me very much sometimes... ups and downs all the time and im not really sure why im stressing for. its all one huge mess in my mind.oh well.
i just hate reading this thread, it makes me admit to the fact that i have depersonalization. for the longest time(9th-12th grade) every year it would get worse, but i would try to think about it as little as possible. in 6th-8th grade i just didn't know what the fuck was going on, i remember just looking down at the grass and thinking "am I really here?!" I know for a fact MY depersonalization was brought on by extreme anxiety, I was a VERY anxious kid, small things would fucking make me a nervous wreck. It even states that depersonalization is brought on by extreme depression or anxiety(i'm not depressed) so it had to be the anxiety. I feel somewhat alive when I take a lot of xanax, which is why i'm addicted to that and klonopin, but it's just a false sense of reality.
yeah me too.iim either feeling more aware than most people about my life or going crazy when the facts i consider are the same. its all so complicated to explain in words.even in greek i couldnt explain it exactly.youd probably had to see me screaming while on a panic attack or something
I have heard(im not sure if i have said this before) that when a person is depersonalized or has deralization they are in fact using a different/extra part of the brain. Not used by other people. This is where the feeling of being in a dream or feeling spaced out comes from. You need to learn how to use this new part and use it as a benefit.
it's not really a benefit -- it's a natural instinct. when you have too much anxiety(like I did it the past, you have to understand I had HORRIBLE anxiety as a kid) your brain learns to cope with it, and it slowly "takes you out" of this world persay. Instead of having incredible anxiety nowadays, I just have depersonalization like a motherfucker. It's honestly gotten to the point where if i'm on a plane and that bitch starts going down, i'm gonna feel bad for my parents but I wouldn't be one of the people freaking out, i'd put on my sunglasses, open the window, and watch my life fade away.
well i tried to use it since i found out i have a pretty high eq* emotional quality/intelligence* i did understand why i take some things as i do and why i think about them as i do.. but sometimes i cant figure if im using it as a benefit or im driving myself crazy