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feel like giving up (reps for serious advice)

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by 420Hazo, Mar 13, 2012.

  1. alright story summed up. me and my girl got into a petty argument last Tuesday. (so 7ish days ago). it was nothing big, me and her are long distance. anyhow, night is going perfectly well and we're having fun. and i had plans to take her out to a surprise dinner the next night, kinda just a my treat because its been a while, you know romantic chit. so i say "hey, we're going to dinner tomorrow alright." out of no where, she replies "dont tell me what to do." kinda caught off guard i joke back, "lol i aint telling you what to do, i wanna take you out to dinner tomorrow." she replies "no your being rude, you try and schedule my day without any care towards what i want to do.' so im like alright chill out, we wont go then.

    i carry on with what im doing and she says "what now your gunna sit and be a sob about it?" (im literally just watching tv, not a single phuck given." so i reply, hey why dont you quit with the attitude, i just helped you all night setting up contacts for you and talking to people for you (she was working on a public project and needed to get her page out so i talked to people, alot of big people for that matter, she should be kissing my feet for that but idc), and i just offered you dinner. then she signed off skype. im thinking ok.. so i call her back, she denies, i call her again, she denies. so i say back to her your going to really be this immature, im just gunna to get bed, night. then she says "fuc* you seriously, and signs off... im thinking aight, i rly did nothing wrong so i dont give a phuck and went to bed.

    next day i hear nothing back no texts nothing. this goes on for two days, not a word only "goodnight" when she went to bed. so for the next few days i try every day needlesy to talk things out with her, wondering why she blowing out proportion. she says to be "you never listen." i basically tell her (after days of this on going) if " its a matter of us talking this out so this relationship can work. because i have done alot of thinking about us lately, and right now what we have to do is talk this out. to each other. because i want our relationship to work out, but in order to do that we have to understand each other and listen to EACH other. or this simply wont work. because i really dont have to deal with this, i need a girl who can just be lay back and chill and not get an attitude every two days and make a weekly extravganza of fighting...she still doesn't apologize for cursing at me and acting immature.

    few days pass, still same b.s . i just taking it day by day not rly giving a phuck because i'd rather just be doing my own thing until she calms down.

    today. im fed up with it, i had a long as* day and came home, hopped on facebook. i haven't talked to her in almost two days and she goes "so your going to start listening now? because i can't take you not listening anymore." i reply. listen, i listened to you and gave you space for two whole days to clear your head. i want this relationship to work but you have to start treating me with respect and not throwing every guilt and blame on me. and start accepting where your wrong or else this wont work. the only way for us to get this relationship back on track is for us to understand each other. she then says "ok fine. ill listen to you, but i have nothing to say." so im like ok ok, im gunna hit the gym then we'll talk tonight.

    after the gym

    i get online and see a message from her "you did the exact same thing that pissed me off initially." im like .. WTF this chit again.. so i wait it out an hour and get online and say "we need to talk." she replies "im in a bad mood." i reply generiously, look i know we've been at each others necks for the past week but im your boyfriend and i still care about you, tell me whats going on i want to help." she replies back.. "I just said I dnt wanna talk! Just listen for once
    Dnt say u do wen u dnt! " so i say back to her " stop telling me to listen listen listen. im your boyfriend, im here for you. i kinda expected to talk about what's been going on between us the past few days, given the fact you told me, you'd be willing to talk it out. for once. can you chill down the attitude and realize im just here. talking to you. like a relationship should be"

    she hasn't replied back for 30 minutes.

    thank you for reading first of all. second of all, wtf do i do. she has no respect for me. never accepts being wrong, literally is draining me to the limit bc she wants me to accept all guilt and blame when literally i done nothing to her. i always gave her respect but never took b.s from her. i dont play games, i want normal relationships. not ones where every two days i get bullshi*. the thing is though, when im around her, its perfect harmony.

    help a bro out.
     
  2. I dated a chick who pulled this shit on me(wasn't long distance) and found out a week later she was sleeping with another guy and trying to get with my best friend at the same time.
    So I just said fuck it and dumped her ass, I didn't need that type of shit in my life. She ended up crying during the whole break up talk. Then started dating the guy she was sleeping with.
    Trust me man, it's not worth it. There are plenty women out there and if shes playing all these games and what not, why should you have to suffer for it? End the relationship, you will feel better in the long run.
     

  3. lol now your scaring me brah haha. nah, i know my girl would never cheat on me. she just isn't that type. she been in two relationships her whole life. one a 3 year one, and me currently for..almost 11 months.
     
  4. Dude let me be honest with you. Sounds like you both aren't happy, and she seems like she really wants out but can't get the confidence to actually say it. You really didn't do anything wrong, and that's the problem. She is picking out shit trying to get you to slip up, and freak out. Seems to me like she is trying to get you to end it.

    Same thing happened to me two months ago. Didn't talk to my gf for two days, was giving her space like she asked. Called her to tell her the plans on the weekend. It was a surprise also and I could tell in her voice something was up. So I straight up asked her if she thought we were going to last, she hesitated and I knew she didn't want to be with me anymore. So I manned up and ended what she should of.
     
  5. And like the other guy said, another guy was involved. She went out with some friends the night before and met some dude. Don't think they hooked up but she gave him her number. She's now dating said douche. She may not be physically cheating but her heart is for sure not with you.
     
  6. Man up and leave man, its abandon ship.
     
  7. ^This!
    I'm not saying she's cheating on you, just that she's not happy. And that's what happened with the chick I dated, she was too scared to end it herself so she nit picked everything I said and did to the point I couldn't take it. Of course her cheating on me was a big help in my decision.
     
  8. How long have you been together/how long have you been long distance?

    Seems like she's looking for any reason to argue, and an excuse to be mad at you. Sounds like she's not upset about any specific things you did (i.e. helping out and the dinner offer lol), but how the relationship is in general. How often do you see each other? Are you usually the first one to text her good morning?

    Maybe she's stressing about the distance, or maybe she's just insecure and wants you to grovel a bit? When girls pick fights and you don't fight back (which is good, logically), sometimes it can seem like you don't care. If she's like this a lot, maybe just lay it all out on the table and tell her how you feel. If she sees that it is having an effect on you she might feel bad and realize she needs to treat you better.

    If you could tell us more about the relationship in general I think we'd be able to help you more, because I don't think the problem is something specific in the thread.

    edit: Just saw it's been 11 mo. Maybe she doesn't know how to end things/make changes in the relationship?
     
  9. She sounds either A. Immature, B. spoiled, or C. Both. Your at a level where you want a stable peaceful relationship, where you both can grow as a couple. She's at a point where if it's not her way, you get phucked for it.and this is common in young immature girls (sorry young ladies I'm not talking about YOU specifically ). It's simpler said than done, but you don't match up. You two do not match up. What's truly important to you and what is truly important to her are 2 different things. No matter what she's says, her actions speak for themselves. So follow your gut, you know there is no reason to stress, it's better to be single than to be caught on a fish hook. So only do what you can in a situation you can't control, and put you first. Hopefully this helps.
     
  10. Dude mind if I ask how old this chick and you are?
    Could be a factor...

    Also, even if she is 20+ or something, she is ACTING incredibly immature. She tells you to listen, but when you ask her whats wrong, she tells you she doesn't want to talk about it? Wtf. Hypocritical a little bit.

    Dude, long distance never works out...really it doesn't. Theres a reason almost every long distance relationship ends up horrible.

    In my honest opinion bro, I say break up. Your better off alone, and you don't need to worry about someone who doesn't give a flying shit about you. I hate these type of people (the type of girl she is). So yeah, if I were in your shoes, I'd simply break up with her. Move on, play it single, go day by day and forget her. She wasn't important, since obviously she couldn't even give you the time of day and respect for the shit you did for her.

    Once you move on and forget about her, and if you want a NEW relationship, go for it. But take a break and do you, and only you for a bit.
     

  11. dam* man, thats harsh. i really feel you. i told myself and been telling myself this entire time. whatever happens, i have to keep my dignity and stay true to myself as a man, and hey if she got respect for that maybe, not everything can go south.
     
  12. [​IMG]


    but honestly it sounds like she is trying to push you away or is fighting the fact that she does not want this relationship anymore...I went through the same thing...when they start acting all shady...somethings up...
     
  13. Are you fuckin kidding me. After that first "dont tell me what to do" after I'm offering to do something nice for her, I would have straight up dumped her ass. Just reading that pissed me off. Sounds like your girl is a disrespectful bitch who needs a reality check. She complains about you not listening, but then ignores you for like 3 days? OP, a relationship isn't worth it if you aren't happy. I hate how people don't see that. Especially if she is treating you like shit. It seems like you care about her, and all she wants to do is give you a hard time and give the silent treatment- some 8th grade shit. She either needs to change her ways, or you need to get out.

    An unhappy relationship isn't worth it. Especially if you aren't committed like a marriage. Thank god my girl is chill as fuck. We've been together 16 months now and haven't argued more than 3 times. Because I told her in the start of our relationship, if I become unhappy with us fighting or w/e, I'm out. I told her that to her face. Very important. Remember that OP.
     
  14. Sounds like shes doing what my x just did looking for reason to leave, i know its hard but the sooner the better Im still fucked up over the past few months, im my situation there wasnt another guy but when she moved out thinking it would help us it only made shit worse loves a bitch buddy but we live n learn
     
  15. I agree with pretty much everyone above me. Id say get out bruh, find a local girl to kick it with, someone who respects you and appreciates all the great things you do. This girl is acting very immature and i bet something is up on her end, LDRs dont work unless both parties are giving 110%, no bull. And by the sound of it, youre carrying most of the load, its not worth it man. Get out for your sake, dont try being a hero... it will get worse and only hurt you more. Youll find someone who treats you right, just give it time.

    I had a similar situation with my ex, we werent long distance though... it was hard at first for me but im so much better off now. You will be to, start working out get ripped, smoke trees, and do you bruh!
    Dont sweat it
     
  16. Id suggest finding some new activities/hobbies and making new friends + reconnecting with old ones to help pass the time.

    Heck for the past 4 months for me my schedule has been literally
    Eat, work, gym, chief. (I got 2 jobs atm)
     

  17. i think that part is hard for me, because im not on the outside. like i have really strong feelings for the girl, so naturally i get a little too forgiving of things and tend to let my insecurities get the best of me.

    but i agree, either happy or out, because i have to make a decision.

    i ended up writing her a decent size paragraph basically saying alot of stuff like you guys on this thread said, essentially telling her to lose the attitudes and stop acting like a immature woman or else the relationship simply will not work. i figure turn the game on her and show her im not afraid to move on will maybe get her to click.
     

  18. im actually going day by day with her. she actually is 20 years old. but its to the point where its like are you seriously going to act THIS immature. she literally only thinks about herself, but says she still loves me? like she wants me to kiss her ass, so i sort of pulled a Roger move on her and said i dont play games. you have to decide right now, because i will move on and find a girl who treats me right if you dont'
     
  19. Been there before. Sounds like she's being a bitch to try and distance herself more, possibly to make a break-up easier. At that point its easier to cut your losses and find an actual woman.
     
  20. Daaamn your girl sounds immature as fuck, break up with that bitch! Why have you even let it get this far!? Sounds like you're being a pretty decent bf and she's being an emotional immature cunt bag. So yeah there is something wrong with your relationship she's not smart enough to hold one. Step 1: drop her. Step 2: find better. Step 3: profit.
     
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