you've probably heard some of these...... Q. What is the difference between politicians and stoners ? A. Politicians don't inhale...they just suck. Did you hear about the stoners that locked their keys in the car ? It took them two hours to get out. Q. How do you get a one armed hippie out of a tree ? A. You pass him a joint. Q. What do you get when you eat marijuana ? A. A pot belly Q. What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs ? A. Double jointed. Two stoners are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls. One says to the other i sure wish i could do that. The other stoner says you better get to know him better first. Q. How do fish party ? A. Seaweed. Q. Hear about the stoner who put his condom on backwards ? A. He went. Q. What do you call one bowl between three tokers ? A. Malnutrition. Q. What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ? A. A Liar. Q. How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ? A. When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter. Stoner good fortune: When you are cleaning your room and find some hooch you forgot about. Stoner Pick-up Line: Hey i have a 9 inch joint. You might be a stoner if your bong gets washed more than your dishes. There is a thin line between love and hate. Its starts about halfway through the joint. Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of good pot. Q. What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner ? A. The drunk will drive through a stop sign while the stoner will wait for it to turn green. Q. Why did the pot head plant cheerios ? A: He thought they were donut seeds. Two stoners were walking and saw a fly on a pile of crap. One stoner says to the other- Wow he had to go bad. The stoner went to a bar. He has'nt had any nookie in awhile. He saw this chick leaning on the cigarette machine in a dark corner and decided to talk to her. Hey baby i know this is a little forward but i dont get out much so im willing to take a chance. Why dont me and you go to your place and get stoned, maybe cuddle and make a little whoopie. She looked up at the stoner and said - I cant right now, im on my menstrual cycle. The stoner scratched his head and thought for a second - it's ok I'll follow you, I'm on my honda. post some of yours