hello everyone, this is my first post here. my mom and brother have noticed the nightly trips outside in the cold and the traces of smell on as of late. there was a big sitdown where my brother basically went into a tirade about how anyone who does it is a scumbag, loser, low class, etc and then went on with his crap about "herp derp they spray chemicals on it" "herp derp gateway drug" etc i know that my family's viewpoint is misinformed, but i do feel a twinge of guilt sometimes. all while growing up i was a bad kid, disrespected my family, etc. she wants me to be successful and whatnot and i know thats not very plausible even if there was never anything involved that will "make me procrastinate and be a deadbeat" in the words of my family. swim just hates having to lie to his family and have them look at him and think hes not doing it when he could be blazed off his ass at that very moment and the knowing that his loved ones will look down on him and be disappointed in him if they knew. how do you deal with it?