Fake friends dilemma

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Atromatic, Oct 8, 2014.

  1. Alright guys, here is the deal. I transferred to a new college at the start of this semester, and didn't know anyone. I've always had friends, and never had any trouble in that department but i've always had really bad anxiety/depression. When I came here it seemed to increase.. 
     
    I couldn't really even go to the cafeteria to eat because i'm deathly afraid of being seen alone and what people would think of me (even though I know no one cares, it's just one of those things that you can't really tell convince yourself of.)
     
    Well anyways, finally one day I was walking out to smoke a cig.. and this guy came and sat next to me on the bench, obviously he was drunk, but we kinda hit it off and started being friends that night. Well I told him nice to meet him blabla and went up back up to my room. A couple hours later I walked by his door and he asked me if I wanted to come take some shots with him and this other guy. So I did, and we were kind of making fun of the other guy all night. 
     
    So anyways, we started hanging out a little bit and I started asking him where to find bud around here, and he said he can get it. So you know, since he found the bud.. and I'm really not lacking money I bought the weed for the night. We got high blabla had a fun night.. and here's where I think I went wrong.
     
    Well, pretty much I kept buying the weed.. and then he started bringing friends...and i started buying weed for all of us to smoke.. and then it turned into buying the liquor.. and then it turned into buying weed and liquor, and then it turned into buying his dinner..
     
    He has shown some nice gestures don't get me wrong like bringing me some hotdogs from sheetz when we're all high and i'm in my dorm, without me asking or bringing me some dip for free...but to be honest I have spent well over 400$ on us hanging out.
     
    I mean I want to think this guy isn't using me, but it just all points at that..
     
    Lately i've been trying my best to avoid him but he's the only "friend" I had here, and he lives on my hall..so today I was in his room, and he was telling me about how his guy skimped the bag a little bit and said he'd hook him up next time, so he asked if I had any money, or if we had to go do the process (pretty much walk to an atm, do alot of funny shit on the way, get money and come back.) But here's where it hit me... they had money to get weed, but I wasn't invited. Pretty much an every night thing, i've been buying weed or liquor and letting him and some other people smoke and drink on it. Then I find out one night they got weed without me and didn't invite me.
     
    I also saw 5-10$ laying on his desk...which just doesn't make sense to me..
     
    I want to know what to do! I don't really want to go back to being super lonely.. but I hate the feeling that i'm getting used, he just sort of expects that i'm going to buy it now, and I don't really want to confront him about it.. Can someone give me some advice or tips?

     
  2. The person you describe sounds like a douchebag parasite and you should tell him to fuck off. find people who share your interests, you need to leave your dorm room to do that. Just start with small talk with people around campus and see where they hang out
     
    Go to some local concerts or house parties, you just gotta be outgoing about it and try not to force anything
     
  3.  
    It just feels more complicated than that, he seems/acts like a good friend besides the money issues.
     
  4. Stop buying the weed/liquor all the time. Get them to split the cost with you. If they stop hanging out with you because of that then more weed/liquor for you.


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  5. Dont let someone treat u like that. Talk to someone in your class maybe. U find friends in class first. But Dont get cheated. And not saying it like this but do u have a awkward style, weird vibe ppl may think, or anything because maybe ppl are unsure of ur approach
     
  6. Stop providing for him. His reaction(s) will tell you if youre being used. Friendships are give and take.
     
     
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  7. Just refuse to buy him anything. And then youll see his true nature. If you want more friends, just hang out at the smoker bench, the fact that he was drunk at school is kind of meh, plenty of other people come over and just ask them if they have a light and you can hit it off from there. Hope this helps!


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