Excuses not to take a drug test

Discussion in 'General' started by boredsmoke, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. I wanted to know if there were any excuses I can use to get out of taking a drug test: religious, social, etc.

    Also, would it work if I was just honest?

    I'm going for more low level jobs or an internship.

    I would prefer not to invest in a fake test kit, or take a month break or do a cleanse that is probably bad for my system.
  2. My dick got blown off in 'nam and now I can only shit.

  3. Detox drink or pills could work.

    Fuck if I was going to take a drug test and knew i was going to fail, id just tell em,

    "Look, not even bother giving me one, im going to fail and show positive for THC."

    Not much you can do.

  4. fuck that take the test and make them waste their money. im to the point where i just want to apply everywhere just to make them waste money on a drug test. fuck them.
  5. I'm pissing blood.
  6. i have aids.

    you wont want to handle my fluids
  7. "My lord considers it a sin for his children to consent to drug tests, therefore I'm not agreeing because I don't want to go to hell."
  8. My pee is part of a secret society
  9. I think I'm gonna go with

    A. I piss blood


    B. My piss is part of a secret society ritual and sacred to my followers

    War is a good excuse but I'm too young, and you still gotta piss even without a dick

    And the religion thing might not fly because if it is religious they may want proof

    Aids, they wear rubber gloves. also I don't think you can get aids from piss only jizz and Im not jizzing at a drug test center.

    I'll try to think of some backups though I honestly don't think I can say the top 2 with a complete straight face...maybe the blood one. I wonder if this will work
  10. say you cant take a piss
  11. My dick doesnt work right. Maybe I shouldn't have hired that craiglist escort.
  12. I go with invasion of privacy.
  13. I thinks we's being trolleduh.
  14. I think making excuses would be pretty closely related to doing drugs/ failing in your testers head...maybe?
  15. Say that you're the first robot to perfectly simulate human life... except that you can't pee because of your lack of actual organs. But because you have no human organs, it is also, unfortunately, impossible for you to get high.
  16. Tell them you forgot to study
  17. Just jerk off and pretend it's all good.

  18. I'd just like to say this is a really good idea.
  19. Just admit you do unmentionable, then that will throw everyone so off guard. Break-down and tell them you smoke it yadayada. That way, they wont make you take the drug test right now, bcuzz your just like Yaaa Im addicted but ready 2 get clean. You could even smoke weed, all the while if you play the cards right??

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