1. Win a $250 shopping spree at Grasscity.com! To enter subscribe to our youtube channel.
    Dismiss Notice

Excerpts From A Dog's And A Cat's Daily Diary

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by chill out, Nov 8, 2003.

  1. EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY





    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE

    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE

    6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!



    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY



    DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.



    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.



    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.



    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.



    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.



    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.



    The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured, but I can wait, it's only a matter of time...
     
  2. very funny :D
     
  3. sounds like a stewie-style diary (from the family guy)
     
  4. That was too funny! :D
     
  5. Hahaha... I liked that!!!!!
     
  6. i hope my cat isnt trying to kill me...she does all that stuff and more..maybe i should get an informant bird
     
  7. AHAHAHAHA

    that was good...the dog one is so true though...they get excited over everything...

    the kitty one was really good too...they are plotting against us! hehe
     
  8. ahhh goodness!! are there gunna be more entries?
     

  9. of????
     
  10. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    nvm lmao

    *littt
     
  11. cats are so much more intelligent and sophisticated than dogs.
     
  12. hahaha good one!

    think of Garfield and Odie....
     

Grasscity Deals Near You

Loading...

Share This Page