Ex just broke up with girlfriend.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by slightlysto0pid, Jul 12, 2012.

  1. Background: Dated my ex for almost two years. He was my first love and I was his. Broke up because we wanted different things out of life, he was very controlling and I wanted my freedom. Bad break up around three months ago, I broke up with him and we haven't talked since. He got a new girlfriend like a month later, she was nothing special at all and I knew it wasn't going to last. They just broke up. I tried talking to him once when they were together and he wouldn't talk to me, probably because his little girlfriend wouldn't let him.

    Despite all our problems he's a cool kid I guess. We're into the same music, both smoke a lot daily, have the same viewpoints, have intelligent conversations together. I miss him. I still love him even though I know I shouldn't. I know I should be strong and just stay away because I deserve better but I can't lie, I'm so happy they broke up and I want to hang out with him. Not be in a relationship with him again because I'm talking to other guys and I have my own life now, gonna transfer schools soon anyway. I just want to be able to smoke and chill with no strings attached.

    Probably not the best idea but I can't help that I still love him...
  2. if you do end up chill'n with him,
    you'll probably hook up with him again,..
    and you wont know it'll happen till its happening,

    me and my ex had a similar situation ,
    4years in love, i messed up, she found a new guy,
    i try'd to get her back, we still loved eachother but she sed i was to late to realize..
    she had already fallen for that other guy,

    point is: dont lose the one you love,

    (also no one is a expert on relationships, were all still learning,
    but i feel that TRUE happiness is where your love is found)
  3. Uh we're about to hang out now...I still can't believe this is happening. I don't know what to expect. I put mad good smelling lotion on and got all dolled up. I'm so nervous right now.
  4. haha sounds like he got you blushing,

    well thats your ex,you should jus be yourself,
    have fun
  5. Sounds like someone is looking for a Booty Call!!

    • Like Like x 3
  6. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dont hang with your ex you guys are gonna end up fucking... i feel it in my boner! move on girl find some dude that deserves you, a new experience, dont backtrack

  7. I felt that in my boner! And that's a good way to tell it's solid wisdom you speak here. :smoke:
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Hm, if you love him, let him go. I think you broke up with him for a solid reason, so do it moving. :wave:
  9. lol i was coming from personal experience there, i know if my ex hit me up out of the blue one day wanting to chill... i know she wants my penis and misses my golden tongue. wed be all over each other in a heartbeat, skip the "hello how have you been... ???" small talk and get right to hot and heavy kissing, scratching, and tearing off clothes "ive missed you so much"

    ...sometimes i really miss that girl but i gotta keep moving on
  10. I did hang out with him. Kinda made it clear that neither of us want to be in a relationship again, I straight up told him I'm talking to other guys at the moment and he really missed me, we told each other "I love you" and talked for hours. I miss him so much but I can't put myself through another relationship like that again.
  11. YAYYY!!!!!!!!! i was worried for a minute that you smashed, keep moving on girl. its tough i know but its for the best. find someone that treats you right and you can trust 100% :hello::hello::hello:

  12. Hahah I have a slight instinct telling me that I think I know that feeling :p
    Never really understood getting back together anyway.. The feeling is gone and you're beating a dead horse in most cases. People get back together usually because they haven't learned to live alone / without each other.

    Congrats OP, you're on the right track. Don't settle for any less than what makes you happy. ;)
    • Like Like x 1

  13. i wouldnt get back together with my ex, i made a promise to myself. she had me and she tossed me away, her loss. gotta find a girl that will love me the way i love her and thats 110%
  14. Over the years, I've made it a bad habit of getting back together with my ex's.

    It's never really worked out. Everyone's different, though. :confused_2:
  15. Ughh I need to be strong and not fall for him again, he wants to get back together but I just can't. It's hard though.
  16. It definitely is, that's for sure.

    Familiarity is a motherfucker.
  17. Find someone who treats you right. My.02 cents

  18. These 2 posts made my day LOL.

    On another note, just be careful and dont fuck. Seriously. You think it's bad now, when he's back inside you all those feeling will come rushing back in.

    ^see what i did there?
  19. It sounds to me that:
    To him, controlling you is more important than loving you.
    To you, your freedom is more important to you than loving him.

    This is the male perspective. Your need for freedom, and time away from him spent with other guys, is terrifying to him. He obviously cares for you quite a bit but he doesn't understand how to trust you. This is a problem for a lot of guys who know how absolutely scandalous most girls are, especially the type that gets a lot of attention.

    As far as I can tell, from your side, it seems to me like you expect to find something better out there. Someone who won't smother you. As a person who enjoys their freedom also I can understand how frustrating it is when the person you love cannot truly trust you.

    If you want a relationship to work here then the both of you must be willing to commit and compromise. I would suggest speaking to a counselor or therapist as a couple if it is really worth it to you. And, in my experience, if you love a person strongly enough as a man it is simply a matter of trusting them to never hurt you. It is hard at first but I think if you want him and your freedom then both sides are going to have to work together to make it happen.

    Then again. Parts of your relationship sound hostile and less than mature. Despite my feelings for my ex it is important to remember the incompatibilities. While we may desire change to accommodate another person in our lives, and recognize a need to alter a bad habit, sometimes people are who they are.

    I wish you luck in love.

  20. Good philosophy :smoke: Personally I've never been into the whole getting back together thing.. It's never going to be the same, no matter how people miss each other.

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