Well thanks, man this is nothing against you Jerry, I like you man. You might not think that, but, I do and, I guess you're right I do a have little pride. I have that emotion and, flame. I hate relying on others. I don't never fucking lie either, I'm persistent in my actions, I'm still losing weight man, still in college. I'm also loyal my 2 bestfriends get all my love. I let em know I love em every chance I get. And in case its not clear I'm thankful to all my blades too. I'm learning to love myself just saying these things what a damn warrior. Has a lotta anger but, still can ya work done. He's got huge passion even when depressed. He can write ya those reports for sure. He'll bleed till he faints and, still won't call 911. He'll say I'll die when nature calls no doctor needs saving me. He ain't afraid to motherfuckin die on you.
I say hang in their dude - positive forward steps and hold your head high. And make your goals a reality - slowly and one at a time. Peace dude. J
Forget the knife idea, all that will do is get you killed. Some martial arts or self defense courses wouldn't hurt. Jerry is spot on (kind of the norm), be confident, have a bit of pride in yourself and your actions. Stay true to your values. You will make it. Life is often like a roller coaster, it has it's highs and lows. How you handle the ride is the point.
Positive bump and realization: Why am I letting outsiders judge me and, my old ass soul? They don't know what I had to go through as a short disabled ugly fat kid and, teen, and early adulthood thus far. I'm letting people dictate standards for me that are irrelevant to my true goals and, passions! Fuck 'em I'm pilot of this plane now. People are walking all over me because, they know they can because, they're shitty and, knew they could use me as fodder for their own issues to relieve. They wanna see me burn just much I wanna see them burn. I'm gonna stop letting them. I'll gonna sit back and, nature do and, karma do the work natrually like an organic growing ganja plant. I began beating myself up and, not being comfortable with my own skin becasuse, I wasn't ready to accept of all the rejections, bullying, no love from my siblings growing up, my parents were narcissistic at times only caring for themselves and, traumatizing me sometimes. Now I'm slowly wanting to become more positive and less cynical but, it's a hard task. Because to me revenge taste sweeter than brown sugar with cinnamon and, feels as good as soaking wet pussy on the dick. I used isolation and, drinking at times to engage in self-pity because, I saw no other way out. Now, I'm gonna strive to do more exercise instead! I still might get depressed some days after I'm only human. However most days its a little better, I'm far ahead from wanting to kill myself and, never stop eating. Been there, done that. My ego shall start built. My self esteem shall rise more when I can move out and, make like America and, gain my true independence.
Dude...you care to much about what other people think about you.... An because of this you have a distorted image of yourself. . Fuck other people and their thoughts. Start with changing how you feel about yourself. .. It seams that you haven't been stimulated to do so very often. If everybody keep saying weed is blue you'll beleave it after a while. ..chin up. ..be proud on yourself Sent from my GT-I9505 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Hey man it'll get better.. everyone feels this way at some point in their lives and you gotta remember your no different from anyone else we all came from the same star dust. We are all part of the universe. Some people just take longer to realize things like that. People are going say things to put you down when deep inside they are afraid of you succeeding before them. Dont listen to ignorant people man.. sit back roll a joint and toke up. /4:20/ Sent from my couch
True, caring what other's think is how I got in a dark place to begin with. I was never a bad guy either, just angry at the world for not being respected or wanted. Now I'm learning day by day, that I'm the only one who can me dig me outta the hole of anger and, depression. I began a nature walking exercise regimen and, reflecting back why I deserve to be here and, how to love myself for the 1st time.