I was put in the friend-zone for the first time recently. It sucks man. Just wondering how many other blades have been in this position. If so, do you know the reason why?
You don't have to be "alpha" to be not a friend. You just simply identify girls that don't want to be friends and ones that do. All of the girls that I've been with, I made it clear that I didn't want to be friends. I didn't act like a friend around them. I acted like their life would be better if I was in it. I didn't say "hey, here I am take it or leave it". I pretty much said "here I am, you need me in your life and more than just being friends". When a girl makes a guy a friend its pretty much just relegating you to a sideline position. They don't want to be your friend, they just simply don't give a shit about you. If they did, you'd be in a closer position in her life. You think a girl doesn't have enough friends (let alone guys) that she needs more? Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is that you need to capitalize on opportunities. All the girls that I'm friends with, I didn't want any more from them and they didn't want any more from me. The girls that I had an actual sexual interest in, I made it clear from the start that I would not accept being friends and I could make their life much better than it is. I never presented myself as being "just a friend". Make sense?
Uhhh... If they didn't give a shit about you, why would they bother keeping you around? My god. People. You keep viewing girls as though they're these strange, mysterious creatures. They are human. Many of you could probably switch places with a girl and find very little difference. 'Friend zones' do not exist. Either they want to let you in their pants, or they don't. Either you're their friend or their lover, and if you're not either of those, then they don't give a shit about you. Being a girl's friend means that something about you merits a place in their life. It's just probably not your dick.
Girls aren't mysterious creatures. I've been with too many to know that. I'm past that stage. That still doesn't change the fact that friend zones exist for guys at least. Girls don't do a good amount of pursuing. Guys do. The average male simply doesn't have the luxury of putting women into friend zones because 1) a lot girls don't show overt interest and most guys are clueless, 2) the female usually makes the final decision in male/female relations. When a guy goes after a girl, he usually tells her - not the other way around. Guys usually don't put females in friend zones. If a girl does the pursuing, she makes her interest known, and really wants to get to know him better, if she's reasonably attractive, he'll give her a shot. Most of the guys I know that are put in friend zones either become shoulders for their female friends to lean on, or they are just simply put on the backburner of her consciousness. They aren't "friends", maybe acquaintances and afterthoughts at best. Unless you've been friends with this person for a good amount of time and they're making this revelation known now, then the male is most likely screwed in the first place. Why would you spend a good amount of time with a guy that you didn't have romantic interest in? If you don't have any romantic interest in him or aren't testing the waters, then why are you spending so much time with him? Do you guys click well and have compatibility? Talk about a bunch of issues? Then why aren't you together? See what I'm saying? A lot of girls I know pretend guys don't have problems, don't have issues in their life that need to be sorted out. They tell the guys these problems and the guys nod their head, listen and provide understanding. Most of the time, the guy is the psychiatrist and the girl is the patient. You don't ask the psychiatrist if they have problems, you're there to see them. If you had a psychiatrist, would you put them on the same plateau as your friend that you've known for 15 years? Just because you have a place in someone's life doesn't mean it's a high one.
What you're describing isn't a friend - it's a tool. Sure, girls can be inconsiderate like that, but it's only because the guy insists on sticking around, which is unhealthy and often annoying. Like you said before, you need to make your intentions clear. If that's all you want her for and she rejects you, it's best for both of you if you have nothing to do with each other from that point on. It's not fair to the girls you're dealing with either. We want actual friends, not guys waiting around, begging for scraps. When I became single, guys who hadn't said more than five words to me for two years suddenly felt like talking and hanging out. HMM. Wonder what they wanted! If you think you're in the friend zone, it's only because you allow yourself to be.
So, you could say that you could either be in the zone where they wanted you as a friend or the zone where they wanted you in their pants? friend zones exist, dont deny it, some people you like but dont want to make the sexy time with, others you do want to make the sexy time with.
Indeed I have, and it sucks bigtime, which is why I don't fuck around anymore. Friend-zoned? Have a nice life girl.
[quote name='"Arckaic"']How do you know when you're in the friend zone?[/quote] When she's not touching your dick
Welllll definitely don't over analyze it like some of these posts haha... Ever had a less than attractive girl want to get with you and your just like nah shed be cool to smoke with but that's about it? You just friend zoned her. It's just simply that. Either they wanna hook up or they don't and would rather have a friend in which they don't have to worry about advancement with.
You claim there is no friend zone... Yet two sentences later you provide a definition of said zone, and in your conclusion you reaffirm what the friend zone is. Your argument is therefore invalid.
This is the truth. It's just more of a problem for guys because we live in a society in which men are expected to be the ones making the sexual advances. The real problem is that guys send mixed signals and don't know how to move on. If you want to be a friend, act like a friend, if you want to be a lover, act like a lover, if you're already a friend and you want to be a lover, turn up the heat, and if you get rejected have a sense of pride and find somebody who will appreciate you. Now if somebody could have just told me that in high school I could have had a much happier couple of years...
When your the one that the person you want to be with comes over to bitch to about their relationship with the person that they're truly intimate with. At that point your a Psychologist that's not getting compensated in any way. Fuck that.
