god i hate writing them. who wants to help? it would be fucking fantastic if someone would help write this! its supposed to be a memoir about a time. has to be a page (lol i know thats not bad but hey, only the 3rd essay ive written) heres what i got so far and am at a dead stand still: Christmas morning, I hear my brother creeping down the stairs. His excitement is seeping through the walls and I can sense the anticipation of the long awaited morning. I creek open the blinds to see the sung just breaking the horizon. I slunk out of bed and drowsily pull on some pajama bottoms. A few moments later my brother is punding on my door telling me to get up so he could open his presents. I tease him telling him to let me sleep, and I pretend like im not coming down.
ive got a few more lines. it doesnt hurt that im totaly willing to bullshit. make up a whole christmas to fit my needs lol
I tease him telling him to let me sleep, and I pretend like im not coming down. Just as I thought he had given up, he gaily burst through my bedroom door and hopped onto my bed.
I can add some words, what kinda words you want OK kinda skimmed over your start. For every "and" you can take out and start a new sentance. Add some more adjectives to lengthen the sentances. And make a better intro. Don't just start with the memory or whatev, lead into it somehow. so you also write with too many "I" 's, try my or personifiying items instead of starting sentances with how you recall them exactly. Like, My pajama bottoms were crumpled on the floor and a week dirty, so I slunk out of bed to put them on and get ready for the big day ahead.
Replace bland words with ones that you find using a thesaurus; as long as they're not too out of place, will probably automatically get 1/2-1 step of a grade higher