Enjoying bud for three years, now feeling anxious after smoking

Seems like a repetitive thread, but I don't know where else to share this.

I smoked for three years straight, heavily through some parts of the year, at a one bowl a day pace other times. I loved marijuana. I'd walk half way across town for a gram, that's how much I enjoyed the high! I still do enjoy it, and I've had periods of coming down from it and feeling as though the effects were beginning to feel repetitive. I got over it though, and used it with a medicine and forget it mentality, and having ADD, it really helped slow my brain down to the point where I could do tasks that I couldn't normally do.

Basically stuff, like watching a full movie or playing video games. I can't describe how much it helped.

About a year and a 1/2 ago I did acid twice. (Brain-explosive trip, in a negative way, the second time), and I felt depersonalized and very out of my body much of the time. It made me depressed, and life fell apart for months, until my relationship of two and a half years ended.

I've since gotten over it. I barely give it thought. I'm trying to accept things, and I definitely give things much thought. I tend to feel confident, and then the next day when I hit the bud, I just end up feeling anxious and crappy. The high is good, sure, and some days the anxiety ain't bad, but times like now, I feel a deep paranoid feeling in my chest, and I feel as though I'm not enjoying my high as I should. I have a new computer, and several new games, and I've always loved games, but I can't really play 'em. If I was sober, I know I could for a bit longer.

But it varies each day. Anxiety, why must you interfere with my high? I'm not often anxious before hand. If I was I'd understand why I was feeling this way.

 

I've also been smoking nothing but indica for months. I'm DYING for a bit of good sativ.