Can somebody help me with my English 101 homework. My professor handed us back a essay that were supposed to revise but I can't because I can't read his handwriting so I'm ask if you blades who are specialized in Language Arts/English can help me out here. I'm really trying to pass this class. I posted the essay on the attachments below. Thanks fellow blades.
I understood very little, ask the professor since U can't read it, if its do soon email him ask for an extension bc u can't read his handwriting and want to rewrite it
[quote name='"shaddytheman"']The thing is he doesn't read his email until monday, but thanks I'll try and see if he responds.[/quote] I mean if u send it now, I think he may understand most professors just want the best out of u and will give extensions but ask and do a rewrite anyways. Just get a friend to review for now
Your sentences are too long. Too broad. Not a topic sentence. There are a lot of what appear to be "awk" or awkward wording. "What does this mean" Repeat Wrong word Run on Proof read There was no minimum wage (during the industrial period) So What? Wrong word Too much space The last paragraph says that your sentences are too long and your topic sentences make no sense. You don't support your thesis. You don't follow MLA format. That's about what I could discern. Some of it really is illegible.
I have nobody to review my work and give criticism, that's why I was hoping if fellow blades could help me out with some shortcuts and hints.
man i hate it when teachers/professors write like that, i mean sure they have to mark a lot of people in a small timeframe but damn not even god knows what they write sometimes.
Lol, teacher must of panicked when she saw that paper. I think she was just trying to write as much wrong as possible without wasting her entire night grading your paper. It's hard to read but it basically says, go see a tutor, take another class, get help.
don't even trip some English teachers are picky. Like look at these comments left on one page. This guy had a PHD and frequently misspelled words. I was like Then I body slammed him. lol jk. Nah, I learned a lot from that class. I feel way more confident with commas. Education dude. Stay around it.
Honestly, OP, you should go to your prof's office hours. Not just to decipher the cryptic handwriting but because it doesn't seem they you are prepared to write at a college level. (I assume college because this is an 18+ site)
Wait...is this an essay? Or just some free write assignment? What is the prompt? What kind of professional formatting is this in? If it is a formal essay, it needs to be in MLA format. College and Professional Level English Writing has many rules/formats to it that High School Essays rarely enforce. Purdue OWL: MLA Formatting and Style Guide -There is no title. -Why are there huge gaps in spacing? -The header should be flush against the left-top side of the margins in this order: 1) your name 2) date 3) proff. name 4) course name 5) centered title 6) page numbers in the top right corner of the margins. the first page having your last name and page number, the following pages don't need your name. 7) 12 font- times new roman or arial ------------------------------------------------- The actual text itself, here are some revisions.. 1) You use the passive voice too much. Never use passive voice, it doesn't work when you are creating a formal essay. 2) What is the thesis? 3) You have many run-on sentences. The trick to writing in English is being succinct, clear, and punctual. Avoid running on, and too much fabrication of details. Each paragraph must begin with a Topic Sentence, and each TS must relate back to the original thesis for the entire essay to be cohesive and clear to the reader at the single idea you are trying to express. Also avoid using slang. You describe your father as "chill" and your proff. wrote "wrong word." A conclusion statement should have some meat to it. A good conclusion restates your thesis statement in paragraph 1 (worded differently) then it attempts to tie your thesis statement to the "big picture." If your introverted nature is good for you, as you claim it to be, give some quick examples of achievements it has helped you earn as a person, etc. Hope I could help. The thing about English is...once you understand HOW an essay should be written, it makes it 1000x easier. There is just a lot of nonsense that you have to learn first. And considering most High School English teachers are the epitome of useless, I doubt you were properly educated on the matter. Most English teachers are dumb and don't even know how to correctly write an essay.
It is harder to teach someone how to write really well, than it is to teach Mathematics. English has basic rules, but it is your creativity that makes your words go the extra mile. Because the English language has so many specifics, when they harmonize on the page perfectly-- that is where the real beauty of English shines.