Emergency Weed Break Diary

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Mr Stoned, Nov 28, 2011.

  1. Well to start things off I am a HEAVY toker. I've been smoking regularly since I was 15 and I am 20 now. For the past 4 years or so I have been blazing more or less everyday and use it to mask many of my problems in life. I had a tough childhood and now have real anger problems and mild depression if I'm alone for long periods of time without the blessing of marijuana. You know, the usual story...

    They say that weed isn't addictive or habit forming, but any truly seasoned toker knows this to be nonesense. Weed is extremely psychologically addictive, and deceptively sneaky in that it doesnt devastate your life in the same way an alcohol/coke/heroin problem would. You can smoke weed all day every day and if you really put your mind to it, can live a perfectly happy life, land scores of hot women and make plenty of dollar. Because of this, most people, including myself, REALLY don't want to quit smoking weed for any amount of time.

    I myself am in my final year of University and have about 5 months of my course left. My Mum died 2 months ago and ever since then I have been smoking an extreme amount of bud. Thankfully I haven't turned to harder drugs (though have had the odd MDMA/coke session) and my drinking hasn't been excessive to any alarming levels; though my cannabis use has been through the roof. In UK these days it's basically £10 for a gram of high grade if you have the right contacts. I can usually get Q's for £55 and easily tear through them in 2-3 days and recently I have been been picking up £20's worth every day. Financially this is NOT viable and I am literally squandering all my money on something that can be grown for free. However, with the increasing use of thermal imagin by police helicopters and more and more grow ops being shut down in UK, I've been perfectly happy just to work and buy ganja until now. My Uni also has very strict ties with the police so that any kind of drug related arrest (for dealing, not so much for recreational use) usually leds to immediate expulsion.

    Also, it's been getting to the point where I've been going to bed almost every night for a week thinking 'right this it, tommorow I'm not gonna smoke weed.' Every single day I've woken up and thought 'fuck me I would kill for a few bongs or a spliff and within the hour have had a fat bag of ganja tucked in my hand.

    Don't get me wrong, I love weed and don't want to quit, but that in itself is the problem. When I am stoned, I am far too content to squander entire days and even weeks playing skyrim/modern warfare3/fifa 12/battlefield 3(I'm a nerd like that) and nothing (especially my essays) gets done. I am in a position where I could get a good grade in my degree a I have somehow managed to more or less stay on track grades wide, despite shockingly heavy amphetamine use in my first year and similarly extreme levels of blazing/partying last year (though not so heavy on the narcotic use.)

    A week off weed would really do me some benefits. My tolerance is sky high and it takes me literally 5 or 6 bongs back to back of the highest grade to feel 'lifted'. After a nice good spliff I literally start craving another one almost immediately and have to satiate my bud lust with insant bong hits. So basically what I'm saying is, these days I feel like I'm smoking to feel 'normal,' rather than to get high. I feel slow as fuck for the first few hours of any given day and every inch of me is screaming to get bud. This is never a good thing and this, combined with the other signs I mentioned really point towards me needing a weed break of at least a week.

    Before anyone comes in with the 'hav sum willpowa it just a plant d00d' bullshit,' I don't want to hear it. For many people, weed is not just a plant, it is a walking crutch that supports them through the harsh, slippery terrain that comprises our lives. When you have been smoking it for years on end, as myself and many other Blades have, then it becomes engrained in your existence. Many of your close friends will toke just as much and you will associate some of your very happiest times and memories with the herb. When this becomes the case, and you have money in the bank/time on your hands, then it becomes very hard not to give into that teasing voice that's saying 'go on bruv, just smoke some weed. You know you want to...'

    But I'm not giving into that voice, not this time. I'm going on a 7 day break (at least) to clear my head, reduce my tolerance, save some money, reaffirm my life objectives and mainly to prove to myself that I am in control of my ganja smoking, not the other way around.

    So at the end of every day I will be posting a briefing on how my day's gone and the observations I have made whilst sober. Hopefully I will join the gym and get back on the fitness thing (which I was very much on until a few weeks ago where I utterly forsook my exercise plan and got back on my junk food diet), but mainly I hope to make huge progress with my assignments.

    Next Sunday I have a day off and will quite probably treat myself to an all day blaze with my newly lowered tolerance, but until then I will have to do without my old pal THC. And I know a week isn't massive, but it's the longest I've gone in the past 5 years and is a huge step for me. Also, every time I've made it past the 5 day mark I have been fucking LIT on that first blaze back, especially if I have done lots of exercise in the week.

    But wish me luck anyway blades, day 1 report coming tommorow night.
  2. good luck man, if i can offer any advice its to find something else you can do during the days. going to the gym is a good healthy way to keep you distracted.
  3. "where I utterly forsook my exercise plan and got back on my junk food diet"

    There's your problem.

    But anyway good luck. It's all about you're attitude, stay positive.
  4. I believe it. The way you feel about a situation is a huge indicator as to whether or not something is a problem for someone and it sounds like this is one for you, at least for now. I would hold off on the other stuff (like the coke, X, and other stuff) as well as the weed. I'm sure you can do this.

    Talk to some people who will support you. Do you have any family/friends you can talk too? A mentor? I'm sure us here at the city can relate and are definitely interested in seeing you succeed at this. Tomorrow night I want to see a fresh and clean day without green. Good luck man you're going do amazing.
  5. That maybe makes my diet sounds somewhat worse than it is, but you know how tasty Bic Macs, Pepsis and Nacho's become after some bowls... Much more tasty than a salad bowl with sprouts and cabbage anyway.
  6. I'm taking a week break too. Just to prove I can do it I have my sack of bud next to my bed. I have the freedom to whenever I want, but its more of self respect thing to show I have enough constraint to not do it.
  7. #7 Mr Stoned, Nov 29, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2011
    Day 1

    Hey guys hope you're all good. I successfully completely my first day of no green today and am about to read a book and go to bed shortly. I had a terrible night sleep last night plagued by horrific nightmares about the universe ending, which was to be expected as I wasn't stoned when I went to bed (had my last joint just before midnight and went to sleep about 4am) and I usually have pretty twisted dreams when not indulging in a stoned sleep. Like seriously, these dreams were out of a next generation Roland Emerich film. I had like X Men superpowers and could run ULTRA FAST and up walls and stuff, which would have been stupidly cool if not for the fact that the entire planet was imploding on itself and there was a horrifying amount of tidal waves/earthquakes/landslides/general catastrophies/billions of people getting killed in increasingly horrible ways. I had about 943985649068459 near death experiences in an extremely short space of time. Needless to say, when I woke up my heart was pounding on another level and I could barely breathe; not the best start for a 9am shift at work.

    Work however was suprisingly okay. I usually have a few bongs upon waking so it was weird not to, but it's only been in the last couple weeks I've gotten to the 'permastoned' stage. Like last week I put away a good Oz at least, which is ridicolously expensive for a student who's supposed to be doing the final year of a degree. I don't really want to grow or sell at this point in time as I would run a huge risk of getting kicked out of the Uni if caught (a few people have been) and up to coming to Uni I was living with my Dad so neither of the two were remotely close to being an option. I've always been happy to work a shitty job and trade a few days of pay for a weeks worth of getting stoned all day. Sadly however, on just above minimum wage, this is not a financially viable option when I graduate, as I will stop getting student loans and my Dad will understandably stop paying for my weekly food shopping bills (what an absolutely fucking KING of a man for sorting me out like that all this time) and I will need to ration my money much more wisely. My mum passed away a couple of months ago and left me with a fair bit of money, but obviously the last thing I want to be doing is pissing this away on my out of control weed/partying expenditure when I could use it for things like getting a car and a house.

    But yeah sorry I'm totally rambling on, but I think people get the gist of this thread. It's about me learning a little self control. If I can go 7 days without then that proves (to myself, who is the only person here who needs convincing) that I don't NEED it everyday. I think I did at one point, like I was on the verge of getting kicked out of school and was getting in trouble with the police for fighting. Weed sorted all that and chilled me out, but now I'm a young man rather than a petulant boy and find it much easier to count to 10, rather than count how many times I can smash someones jaw in a short space of time with my fist.

    My boys met me at work today and took me for an all you can eat Chinese. This is a pretty regular thing for us and normally I blaze hard all day before we eat (obviously), but today we had a great laugh and the food was still nice despite the fact I didn't have the 'munchies'. We were there for like 2 hours, just joking around and chatting breeze, then I went home and had a heavy workout to burn it off. I haven't done a whole lot since really, just pottered around and had a bath. I wanted to see my girl and bless her with my Gshmoigen, but she had some snowboarding business tonight so that will have to wait for another time!

    I've got an invisible gremlin floating over my shoulder that symbolizes my ganja cravings. Everytime I feel the urge to blaze (and I have thought about it a lot today), I treat it like its the gremlin demanding that I feed him. Seeing as he doesn't need feeding and he's being a real dick about it, I'm gonna starve him till the weekend when he will REALLY appreciate the meal ;) I haven't even come close to caving today, even when my housemate strolled in puffing on a nuclear warhead joint of Haze. When the Gremlin and myself become truly synchronized in our desire to blaze then I will cave. If I manage to keep them seperate however, then this will not happen.

    The key is to fill your day and get shit done. One of the best pieces of advice I've found on here was that there's a ton of important stuff stoners put off just to get high, and that instead of blazing on a weed break then you should actually DO those things.

    By the end of tommorow, my room will be tidy as fuck and I aim to have 2000 words of work done. Also, a lot of Russians will be shot and a lot of Elves will be slain... DIE FETCHER!!!
  8. #8 Mr Stoned, Nov 29, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2011
    I proper overslept and feel fucking shit today, extreme mood swings. I nearly smashed up my Xbox controller because I lost on Fifa... I've got a bad heacache, my motivation is zero and I just generally feel really lousy and slow. It's been nearly 48 hours since I've blazed and despite a pleasant clear headed night last night, I'm feeling zero benefits of T Breaking and can't wait until I can get a fat bag in on the weekend. I feel really on edge and unable to concentrate, but tired as fuck at the same time. I'm going to spend the £70 I normally would on weed on joining the Gym today. I did a heavy workout last night which is why I'm so sore today, but I need to release my frustration on something, so the weights and punchbags will do nicely.

    For anyone who's ever heard of him, THE Carl Froch actually owns the Gym and used to train there.
  9. Day 2

    Sorry for the tripple post, but it's not so much my fault if there's no one replying to this thread.

    But thankfully things definitely perked up after my last post. I did a solid 2 hours at the Gym working EVERYTHING. But the Gym itself is awesome! It's an extremely masculine boxing Gym straight out of Rocky which also does Muay Thai/Boxing classes. I used to do Karate for a few years and a little Muay Thai too, so taking that up again is looking like a pleeasing option if I can cut down on the Cigs and get fitter. Gimme 2 months GC and I will be looking BUFF!

    I'm going to Chasing Shadows tonight who are fucking EVIL Dubstep! I feel pretty damn charged for this one, about to hit the Whiskey and get my skank on. A couple of my boys will no doubt be smashing off the Mandy and Charles but I'mm pretty sure I'll be able to stand strong. I've had a couple of nights out lately where my squad have been hitting the drugs and I've had an awesome time just drinking so i don't see why this will be any different.

    More updates tommorow but for now, peace out and God bless!
  10. Congratulations! Sending you all the encouragement and support I can, man! You are doing good! Hang in there! Keep posting. You write very well and have interesting things to say. I'm gonna be following your thread.

    Good Luck, Man! :)
  11. good luck man, i know how you feel.
  12. #12 Tomber, Nov 30, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2011
    As far as working out.. two hours is ALOT. Idk if you know this but it's called over training. I work out for bulk and my workout is every two days then three days:

    workout 1
    Sprint 1 mile X 2
    Front abs

    workout 2
    Lower body (squats, extensions... ect)
    Side abs
    Sprint 1 mile X 2

    I do low reps and two sets of each exercise, so say I curl 40lbs 5 times the next set I'll do 3-4 reps of 45lbs.

    I don't exercise two days in a row EVER for bulk muscle training. You can for endurance though but two hours is too much unless you're basically just running. Of course you may also be looking to loose weight but why not just turn that fat (assuming you have it) into muscle? For skinny people they are realistically going to have to gain fat and then see that fat turn into toned muscles, however if you already have a lot of blubber, then you're in a good position to transform into a beast.

    Also eat healthy, and ALOT. I eat about 4k to 5k calories a day of only healthy foods in about 5-6 meals. And about 300 grams of protein.

    I'm not an expert but I do have several years of personal experience if you have any questions about working out feel free to post/pm them.

  13. Fat doesnt transfrom into muscle their both totally diiferent things

    And just because your fat doesnt mean you got potential to be a "beast"
  14. You forgot a apostrophe in "doesnt".

    You misspelled "transfrom".

    You misspelled "diiferent".

    You did not place a period at the end of the first sentence.

    You misspelled "your"

    You should have used "have" instead of "got" in the second sentence.

    You did not place a period at the end of the second sentence.

    Alright we could point out each other's minor technical errors all day. I understand your point however people are not going to magically gain pure muscle without packing on pounds of fat, which then can be toned down while maintaining their muscle. That's how it works.

    I know fat people aren't "beasts" by default but excuse me for being encouraging. Anyone, including a fat person, can become a "beast" very soon by altering their mind, diet, lifestyle and workout.
  15. #15 Mr Stoned, Dec 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2011
    Day 3

    Was gonna write this last night but I was hungover as fuck all day yesterday and very tired. But anyway, my night out was pretty nuts and i ended up spending way too much as per usual. We didn't go to Chasing Shadows as the club was empty, so we went to this place called Oceana instead. The guys I went with were twisted on MDMA (in anticipation for an event we didn't even go to) and Oceana is straight up one of the drunkest rowdiest clubs I've ever been to. Just the other week me and my boy were sucking this girls tits on the dancefloor and if he hadn't have pussied out, then we would have spitroasted her when she asked us too. I could have just banged the chick myself but she was falling over all over the place and was making me look like a rapist so the tenth time she fell I just left her.

    On this occasion, some girl went out of her way to tell her how disgusting my hair is. Seeing as my hair is real short I felt hard done by, as she was making me out to have a reverse mohawk or a jewfro or something. My friend saved me though by tearing the girl's dress to shreds (figuratively) and coaxed it out of her that she'd bought the thing from Primark. I myself got her back later in the night when she was trying to pull this really buff Australian guy I'd befriended. I told him that my friend caught the clap off her and it was definitely her because he hadn't slept with anyone else all year. Needless to say, the Australian wasn't receptive to Lil Miss Primark's charms after that...

    Later in the night I bumped into my old housemate and my other friend, both of whom are are real close and it was an awesome surprise to see them. I wasn't really on the same wavelength as my original squad, them gurning their faces off and all, so I went around with my old housemate for the rest of the night. We spent the rest of the time in the 'Asian' room (they're both Sri Lankan descended) and I was grinding on some sweet Punjab ass for a good while. Later, one of my friends went to the toilet and didn't come back so I went to check up on him. Sure enough, some big fat Asian guy was roughing him up, accusing him of hitting on his girl. Apparantly this dude is some big shot in London, but we weren't in London, we were in Nottingham, and he was alone. My friend is like 5 foot 6 with the slender frame to match, and this guy was at least 6 foot and 220pounds.

    There's only one way to deal with bullys, so I immediately seized him round the throat and slammed him against the wall.
    He started stammering but I slammed him again and lined him up with my right hand, eyes burning. He knew he was in trouble, alone and out of his depth, and he muttered a sorry without looking my friend in the eye. I told him he might know some people in London, but we were 150 miles away from there and he was kidding himself if he thought I didn't know people too. I'm 6 foot 4 and 185 pounds before anyone asks, and am fully confident I would have torn that fat pussyhole to shreds. He must have been too, because he got the fuck out of there as quick as he could. I hate people like that, the guy was obviously a student or he wouldn't have been let in the club, yet the guy was making out like he was the Al Capone of the London Underworld. If he was at University, then chances are he didn't have a criminal record and was not, in fact, a hardened criminal, but a fat bully who'd had too much to drink. Meanwhile, me and my boys got some more drinks, grinded some more chicks, and went our seperate ways. I went back to my girls house and they went back for a smoke. Job done.

    Yesterday I made the second half of my group workshop and then went into town for a lot of the afternoon. I was very hungover and my stomach felt like someone had crawled inside it and died. I guess that's what you get when you mix whiskey, rum and vodka together all evening. I got a new book though, A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. It's extremely famous and controversial, but is also extremely well written by a man who, despite embeleshing several aspects of his story, was undoubtedly a fucked up addict on the verge of death. I'm really enjoying it. My Mum recommended it to me years ago and I'm glad she did, as bleak as the content is.

    I made some Beef Chili Madras and ate a Hopmer Simpson sized portion. I've still got shitloads of it left and will devour that later. I sadly slept in until 12.30, which sucks as it usually takes me a few hours to get going on any given day and it's gonna be like 3 or 4 o clock before I start proper getting shit done. Maybe, or I might just pull my finger out and start now? I've got essays to write and a gym session to smash.

    I feel very strong, and despite having an extremely vivid dream last night about caving and ending my weed ban, I woke up knowing it was exactly that, a dream. I am still sober. I am still strong. Roll on the weekend and a fat bag of hiiiigh grade!
  16. #16 Mr Stoned, Dec 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2011
    Cheers man, that was a really helpful post. It was my first session in the Gym so I wanted a go on everything ; ) But yes I think you're right, I did over do it and my body is still very sore today. I'm mainly going for power and core strength over aesthetic bulk. UFC fighters train every day and they're ripped as fuck.


    ^That's the kind of look I'm going for, only more Caucasian ;) He's the champion of the 205lbs division, though I'm sure he walks around closer to 230.

    I like how you assume I'm fat though ;) I'm 6 ft 4, 185lbs, a little skinny if anything!
  17. #17 Mr Stoned, Dec 2, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2011
    Day 4

    Wow I honestly didn't think I would make it this far. If I complete tommorow then that would equal the longest I have ever been without weed since I was 16, which was over 4 years ago. I was right in my last post, oversleeping wrecked the essay writing plans I had in mind and although I completed my assignment, it wasn't until about an hour ago. I did, however, put all my new posters up (I've got 17 now and my room is looking very visual indeed) as well as tidy my room, the lounge and much of the kitchen. Fuck I even washed my bedding which will be dry by tommorow, meaning tommorow night I will be wrapped up WARM AND BLESSED! :hello:

    There's even a spare mattress in the basement that I might bang underneath my own for a bit of elevation. My bed already consists of two mattresses and when it comes to stacking sleeping springs, the more the merrier I say.

    I did a decent workout at the Gym, though hurt my wrist slightly on the heavy bag. I shattered it when I was young and it's been a recurring injury, especially since I rebroke it last year playing football. I need to invest in some boxing gloves, as my 4oz MMA gloves are far too light to be hitting the Heavy Bags for long periods of time and I definitely drew a few questioning looks from the resident boxing/muay thai coach who was training on the bag next to me. That guy is a fucking ANIMAL though, I'd rather chop off my own cock and eat it with some broccoli than fight him. Okay that's not true but I would shamelessly beg for my life like a little girl if he threatened to unleash one of his monstrosity combos on me. I need to sort out an exercise plan to maximize my gains though, as at the moment it's too tempting to just bust out all sorts of random sets that don't really target any specific muscle groups.

    On a plus note, my buddy who I went with was trying DESPERATELY to convince me to come and blaze with him, as he'd just picked up a Q and had a really stressful day. I told him every fibre of my being would love to get outrageously stoned with him, but I simply couldn't. It's been weird you know, just like the school of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) suggests: when you have a craving for something that is not physically addictive, then set yourself a date when you intend to satisfy it and it will be much easier to deal with. Apart from Monday, my cravings for weed haven't been bad at all and I could probably go longer without if I wanted to, which I still might end up doing. Though I think we all know is probably not gonna happen:smoke: This is compared to other attempted weed breaks where my cravings have been totally impossible to ignore.

    Not all of today was good though. Like every other day since Sunday, I've been experiencing pretty severe mood swings and find myself enraged at things that normally wouldn't bother me in the least. For instance, I found myself become really angry at one of my housemates who plays my Xbox games all the time and doesn't really help much around the house, despite being the only guy living here who isn't at University and is also jobless. He also likes a drink to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes an alcoholic, meaning I have to regularly clear his shit out of the lounge. I live on the bottom floor and so use that room more than anyone else, and the site of empty beer cans really offends me for reasons I can't explain. I'm not a big beer drinker and when I do drink (which is once or twice a week) I hit the spirits.

    We also went halves on MW3, which I have hardly played since we got it, as he is on it all the time and I have a lot less free time. These factors combined to the point where I wanted to smack him, especially as I wanted to play MW3 all day and he took it to his friends house. When he came back at Midnight, I 'confronted' him and within seconds of actually talking to him, I realised 'fuck I actually love this guy, he's a really good friend of mine' and felt completely ridicolous for being angry with him. I'm sure he's got a ton of things that irk him about me, such as the time I woke him up at 4am, twisted on Mandy, demanding to borrow his laptop because mine was broke and me and my friend 'needed' music. Had I been stoned, this objective rationality would have been seemless and instant, though in my sober, stressed out state, I thought with fleeting emotion that led only to anger.

    I was also pissed off at my other housemates for pointless reasons as well, and feel equally silly for that. I don't blame weed for these flashes of rage and I am not suggesting that it's some kind of 'withdrawal.' There are some definite and alarmingly severe withdrawal symptoms in the first few days of abstaining for heavy tokers (which are obviously a million times less intense than those experienced by a heroin addict or alcoholic), though I'm not sure spontaneous rage is one of them. I admit that the issue is with me. I have had pretty dreadful anger problems since I hit puberty. My father does (though he's chilled out a lot in the few years), my father's father does and I'm sure my father's father's father did before him. This is one of the main reason I smoke weed so heavily. I am a much more relaxed and likeable person when I've got a lot of THC in my system, that's a fact I'm gonna have to live with. But I guess it's a trade off between whether I want to be a likeable, lazy, underachieving slob or a driven, successful, motivated prick.

    One massive positive to come out of this week, however, is my diet. I probably mentioned this before, but when I am stoned I get an insatiable craving for crisps and pepsi. I am not exaggerating when I say I could EASILY devour 50+ packets of crisps in one sitting if I didn't know that it would probably lead to an immediate heart attack. Most times I manage to restrict it to 6 packets in one go, though this in itself is shockingly unhealthy and will lead me to an early grave if it persists. Sadly, I am now fully aware of what I already knew. It is weed and purely weed that causes me to crave sugary snacks and when I am not blazing the thought of a chocolate bar or multibag of McCoys/Seabrookes/Walkers/Dorritos/Kettle/Coorporative/Sainsburies Taste the Difference/Tesco Premium/You name it I have eaten it - just isn't that appealling. The munchies have always been one aspect of my weed smoking that I have never ever been able to shake, but hopefully, this time I will convert sugary snacks into healthy fruit and high protein meals.

    Anyway blades, I've been babbling on for far too long and I better get some sleep if I am to make my 9am seminar tommorow. Blaze a bedtime bowl for me if you've got the means to, I'll most likely be joining you on Sunday ;)

    Goodnight and Godbless!
  18. #18 Mr Stoned, Dec 3, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 3, 2011
    Day 5

    It's pretty shitty that no one's replying to this, as I'm writing long and detailed posts that hundred of people are reading, but hardly anyone's bothered to leave any kind of comment whatsoever. Ah well, I'll cry everyone a river a guess.

    Anyway, had an awful night sleep last night, which was mainly my fault for going to bed at 3am when I knew I had to be up at 8.30 to make a 9.30 lecture. I couldn't really sleep because I kept thinking about how tired I was gonna be today and in the end got about 3 hours tops. I was half an hour late for my seminar, but it's an IT class and they take a good 15 minutes to get going anyway and I caught up very quickly. My tutor is safe as fuck though, he gave me a one to one tutorial after class to make sure I'm up to date. I'm about 98% sure he's gay, not that it matters in the slightest, but it's a mystery I would love to solve before I graduate as I've been wondering ever since I started!

    Because I did like 3 hours worth of work I couldn't motivate myself to do any writing, (before you ask, I do Creative and Professional writing as a degree, which is basically a deriative of English). This has been a problem all week actually, although I've managed to get a couple of thousand words or so done when I've FORCED myself. I can motivate myself to do physical jobs like working out, cleaning, tidying etc, but I do get a lot of my creative spark from smoking weed. This hasn't always been the case, as I wrote very imaginative stuff when I was a child, but since I discovered the herb virtually all my ideas have come with a sweet wave of ganja smoke. Ah well, I've got a 3000 word essay due in for Wednesday that I was unable to motivate myself to start today. Hopefully tommorow after work I will be able to!

    I was craving weed very badly earlier on today, but this subsided once I started playing MW3. I started off AWFUL and absolutely fucking raped my K/D ratio, but managed to get it back to -20 (still shit) after a few good rounds on Team Deathmatch. I think I should probably stay away from Free for All until I get to know the maps a bit better.

    After that I went to the Gym and put in a short, but decent session. My head kicks are getting better and my leg kicks are pretty savage, but my combos need serious work and my cardio is a total fucking embarassment. There were two bouncers from this Nightclub in town who are obviously semi pro (at least) boxers and they had a pretty epic sparring session that was a joy to watch in between sets. I've recognized quite a few local bouncers there actually, most of them are fucking huge and even the ones who aren't are harder than a coffin nail. In fact the same can be said of a lot of people in that Gym.

    After I came home, I had a delightful wank (haven't seen much of the lady recently) and made a HUGE cajun beef dish with chicken tonight and rice. I've got a load of it stored away for tommorow that I'm gonna gobble after work.

    One huge positive to come out of this week, aside from the immense healthy changes to my diet, is the fact I've cut down from 7-10 cigs to less than 5; the other day I had 3. It's a penultimate goal of mine to quit tobacco permanantly and to just smoke weed pure through a pipe or a bong, though this is easier said that done. I am, however, making progress. I'm 20 years old and my lungs feel like that of a 60 year old. Not good. I know marijuana is nowhere near as damaging and has the added benefit of not being phyically addictive. Seriously guys, tobacco is the fucking worst! Don't ever touch that shit if you're not already addicted, I wish I could go back in time and slap my young self for following the absurd European practise of rolling joints with it mixed in, which inevitably led to me getting hooked on cigs. This nicotine addiction is quite easily the thing I regret most that has resulted directly from smoking weed and it makes me wonder just how many people have died because they got hooked on the tobacco they were mixing in their joint. Probably countless..

    But anyway, 5 days down guys! I'm very pleased with myself. I might treat myself to a smoke tommorow if I don't go out but we'll see. If not, then almost definitely on Sunday. But first I've gotta do a ballache 9-5 shift = ( Time for me to crack on with some reading and go to bed.

    Siyanara, peace out and God bless!
  19. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Settle into your routine. Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep up the good work. I am enjoying following your thread.
  20. You're doing good man! Try to build a new routine and maintain it. It sounds like you're doing a pretty good job. I'm on a short break right until the end of the semester after toking almost every day for about 7 months. The best advice I can give is to keep pushing through. When you get to a week I would even recommend taking the break a step further. You'll say "a week? That wasn't shit. Let's go for two." It might seem like an undesirable decision, but it will pay off in the end.

    Anyways, stay strong brother. You'll push through.

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