embarassing boner stories

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by _420, Aug 9, 2009.

  1. haha this thread is great, brings back memorys.
    back in middle school in p.e. we were doing this heartbeat measuring exercise by laying on our backs in this feild for like 5 min to get our resting heart rate. well so there i am not thinking of anything in particular and i start pitching a tent in my mesh p.e. shorts:eek:
    there was no way to hide it too...nothing around me, and you had to be on your back.
    i finally got smart and raised my knees if you know what i mean but it dident help tremendously. you werent allowed to talk so i dident get any shit till we go back to the locker room.
     
  2. one time in high school i was giving a speech and ended up getting a boner in front of the whole class n everyone saw it......
    some people laughed n others got grossed out but everyone stopped being friends with me that day for the rest of the time we were in high school they would all just look at me with disgust or laugh and point and say hey "theres that girl with a penis!"
     

  3. Lolwut
     
  4. I got a good one:

    So in gymclass in grade 9, our teacher days its yoga week. This EXTREMLY hot chick is front of me, in so ass hugging shorts. We are in a position which you bend over and touch your toes, i was looking right into her ass. I could pretty much see her vag. I soon turn hard, and we have to do the bridge thing(stomach up, while you balance on you hands and feet, (throwing your dick in the air)) and i did the bridge, but i had a skyscraper on top if mine. Damn...
     
  5. Oh my god! I just luaghed for til i cried reading that ending!!!!! Funniest thong i have ever read!
     
  6. funny shit i cried! laughed so hard my kids came and checked on me
     
  7. That is so wrong :eek:

    Well Freshman year just about every class I had a boner, I'm talking spontaneous boners every 5 minutes. It became so hard to hide that I just didn't care at a certain point. I was pretty much done with puberty so I had nothing to be embarrassed about. If I had to sharped a pencil, pass in a test, go to the bathroom I just let it hang. I got alot of funny faces and giggles but i didn't care, I eventually made a name for myself, The Walking Boner. This wasn't the case all the time, usually I'd just do the ol'e before you get up you tuck it in between your legs and hope for the best trick. TBH i was and still am a pretty good looking kid/guy so I actually started getting MORE attention from the girls :devious:

    There was a time in gym though, when we were playing kickball. I had a big stiffy and it wouldn't go down, chick next to me hardly wore anything and was so hot. Of course it was my turn and everyone was like c'monn Mason! Sooo I walk up in my basketball shorts with a boner and my gym teacher lols, I'm all like fml, and everyone else is lol'ing. I actually kicked a homer and proudly pranced around the bases. :hello:
     
  8. I wish i had a penis so i could contribute! :p
     
  9. no unfortunately she wasn't :(

    i remember another funny story involving school and my penis, but i didn't have a boner.
    i was a freshman wearing gym shorts on the bus and the girl next to me dropped her cell phone in my lap, she immediately went to pick it up, but she grabbed more than her phone and yanked :( it was kinda painful, i was just like what the fuck?
     
  10. Are u serious??? She totally wanted to ease your erection if you know what i mean ;)
     
  11. This one kid in my 8th grad P.E. class consistently had a boner EVERY SINGLE class. The first few times it was hilarious, just bawling wih laughter - but after a while a just felt sorry for the kid.

    Girls fucked with him too, rubbing up against him seeing how hard they could make him. :p
     
  12. lol sounds awesome. i wouldn't mind having a bunch of girls rubbing up against me to see how hard they could make me :D
    well, now that i think about it maybe not. the blue balls would probably be pretty bad lol. poor kid :(
     
  13. Back in 10th grade i had to go get a Physical at some new pediatrician who i had never met before. So I enter this fruit-scented room and wait for my doctor, im sitting in there for about 5 minutes then all of a sudden Marisa Miller walks in! But it wasnt reall Marisa Miller, it was my doctor, she just was ridiculously hot. She does all the standard physical stuff tapping my knee and what not. Then all of a sudden she tells me to turn my head and cough, being a virgin i knew disaster was about to strike. Once she cupped my balls i had a boner within about 4 seconds, it didnt even seem to phase her, but i know in her head she was just like "Nice"
     
  14. Forgot about this story. A couple years ago my cousin from Wisconson was staying at my house for a couple nights because she and her friend were in California for some College Marching band competition or something, so her friend was staying at our house as well.

    So its morning and everyone in my house is awake except for me, my mom told my cousin and her friend to wake me up so i can get in on breakfast. So they enter my room to wake me up, and apparently they didnt expect me to be a naked sleeper.

    So I'm just lying there on my back with about 3 heavy quilts on me, which was masking the raging boner I had. Suddenly they grab my blankets and yank em off, revealing me lying on my back with a stiffy. I instantly wake up to them running down the hallway completely busting up, laughing their asses off. Needless to say it was an extremely awkward breakfast, its too bad my cousins friend was completely hideous, because im sure she was impressed hahahah
     
  15. haha these are some funny stories. I have to share this, the only funny thing MTV has ever made.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tbZpZpFy8o]YouTube - MTV Commerical - Boner[/ame]
     

  16. hahahahah. This thread is full of win. Atleast it was brought on by something good and not a random one:laughing:
     
  17. #57 MrChimney, Aug 19, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2009
    dude, this is the story freshman year for me as well. i'd be sitting in class thinking about pokemon or whatever the fuck we were in to back then and then all of a sudden willy jumps up to say hi. i gave up trying to hide it about a third of the way through the year and just rocked the sideways tent if i had to get up and walk around. i would actually talk to my boners much to the amusement of my classmates and teachers. saying things like "oh hey willy, yeah i know, we haven't seen each other til the shower this morning. oh definitely, i'll see you tonight at the computer. its a wonder i was voted most likely to be a comedian haha.

    i also honestly think girls found it attractive/ impressive that i didn't give a flying fuck. i definitely got more attention once i started joking about it. i figure its like a girl letting her cleavage get some air, you're just letting people know what goods are on the market:D


    oh shit i almost forgot my most recent story haha. last year at warped tour i was sleeping on top of my sleeping bag in my boxers and popped a huge woody. now out of the 18 people in our campsite 12 were girls and it was about noon so i had moved my bag out underneath the gazebo thing (what the hell are those things that have 4 long legs with a canopy on top to shade from the sun called?). apparently they all thought this was funny as hell (which it was, good dream too haha) and took pictures of each other posing next to the tent i had popped. i woke up with a decently attractive girls face next to my cock with her mouth wide open so i wasn't ready to start arguing hahaha. now there are pictures on facebook with people tagged next to "Cliff's cock" lol
     
  18. lol that was a funny ass video, and to the kid who quoted me, i hear ya :D
     
  19. hahahahahahh
     
  20. Fuck this thread. :p

    I was an early developer, and seventh/eighth grade was hell because of it.

    I was daydreaming in class, and suddenly I hear my name called by the teacher, asking me to handout papers to the class.

    As soon as I stood up I realized I had a massive, throbbing boner.

    And to make it worse, I was wearing school uniform pants, which are even uncomfortable without a boner.

    So while I was passing out papers, I was uncomfortable as shit with my dick being bent and torn up inside my pants, and the rest of my school year was ruined.


    "HEY BONER-BOY!" :devious:

    I got a girlfriend real easy afterwords though, she didn't mind at all. ;)
     

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