I don't even know myself anymore, and it's been going on for the past 7 months. I feel as if people don't understand me anymore. I've alienated everyone in my life including my family and friends. Most of the time, I have a gut instinct not to do certain stuff to avoid trouble with the cops. Should I get tested by a clinic? (This really goes against my beliefs of psychologists labeling me, but seeing as how my friends and family members are starting to see drastic changes in my behavior, I need to have a clear picture of who I am and what I am doing with my life.)
hi friend! its so intresting that you posted this, I myself was questioning this the other day. Sometimes I find myself lingering upon delusional paranoia. ive always thought that I was some how enlightened, or more perceptive and aware to the things around me. But sometimes I find this awareness to be delusional of sorts, and borderline schitzophrenic. I question who I am multiple times a day, I am not really motivated. I have learned to do what I have to and learned to falsify my ego in order to exist in society. Multiple times a day I question who I am, and why Im doing this bullshit. I came to the conclusion that the questioning of our existence is part of the human evolution, part of being conciously aware. Half the battle is believing that your not fuckin crazy. Choice is an amazing thing. Its what separates us from animals, we can choose our fate, we are not born with a set path. You are choosing to alienate people around you, even if it doesnt seem that way. I suggest seeing a doctor about this, but whatever you do, do not get prescribed anti-psychotics or SSRIs.
it probably isn't shizo trust me i'd know. Go to a doc and tell them as much and as honestly as you can. See if they can help ya out
noone's gonna sedate you and lock you away unless you try and bite someones nuts off. That's just stupid
im sketchin out now everytime i smoke weed well enough weed i always hear all my child hood friends from my old elementry school like all of us talking on the play ground but im by myself. was a messed up 20 minute walk by myself
Thats because when your high your short term memory is not as good. Because of this, your brain resorts to using long term memories that are usually dormant. If you think of a childhood friend and try to visualize his face and have a hard time, then try getting high and then doing it, it will be easier and more accurate. But thats all to a certain extent, because your short term memory is impaired, so you would likely forget that you were thinking of childhood friends anyways..
auditory hallucinations are indeed a sign, not saying that they confirm anything though. Other symptoms are delusions of grandeur, such as feeling as if you are an important individual with the purpose of saving the word or something along those lines. Furthermore feelings of paranoia are also a sign, such as thinking you are being monitored and targeted by the government or authorities. A good friend of mine was found to be schizophrenic. He literally thought he was a prophet sent by god to save the world and thought there was a conspiracy by a shadow govt to assassinate him. It was really scary to see his mental health degrade over the last year or so. The day he was finally committed he was extremely confrontational and angry with everybody, the last straw was when he started patrolling his house in nothing but his boxers and fully loaded SKS assault rifle. When the cops subdued him they found he even had a round in the chamber ready to go. Anyway the moral of my story is that an outside opinion never hurts. IF you really feel crazy professional help won't hurt. My friend always said he felt like the world was coming down on him all the time and that he was constantly anxious, however he never looked for help and ended up endangering others.
I've limited my use of weed to once a week. I've smoked for nearly 1.5 years. When I first started, I smoked very inconsistently and usually in short intervals. I've also taken approximately 20 MDMA/Ecstasy press caps in a matter of 3 months... I feel like my life is being ruined because I'm very stoic around people and I don't feel comfortable talking to people or being around people in general. I tend to say or notice things right before they happen. (Or say things a bit early on prior to what's going to happen.) I think to myself daily that society is messed up with money (in definition of debts/favors), conformity (standardized schools for creating the "perfect students"), and just not being our true selves. People call me selfish and psychotic. I tell them that they should stop being so naive and to stop conforming to society's demand. At one point while blazed and rolling on MDMA, I felt the need to reunite all people of the world as one instead of different racial backgrounds.
duhh uuhh maybe its cause you were high on MDMA? jeez man learn more about the drugs your taking. ecstasy doesnt cause schizophrenia . Your not going schizo. This happens to me sometimes too, your just overreacting
No, other than when I'm high, I still feel awkward in places, with people, and a all those things I stated above.
you probably have some form of anxiety or another disorder as a fellow paranoid schizo you will be able to look back on your life and see it's influence everywhere once you know you have it. Schizo is very inteense and unless you have auditory/visual hallucinations or strong delusions you're probably suffering a much less condition. GO SEE A FUCKING DOC WE CANT TELL YOOU OVER THE NET!!
ah okay, sorry i didnt understand that from your post. I dont know then, you may have some anxiety, you should go see a doctor
Yea, sounds like social anxiety, anxiety in general, and ego loss to me. Take some time to find yourself. Put on a fake ego and go with it, if it makes you confident then keep with it. Ignorance is bliss. Oh, and go see a doctor, and if you have schizophrenia, I think you should use marijuana medically, not sure on that though, I think a few users on here might be able to support that claim though.