dumb stoned things you've done

I searched for a solid 20 minutes for a button on my register at work while the customer waited patiently.

Surprised he was so calm about me blowin' 20 minutes of his time because I got high.

 

Perhaps he was a fellow stoner, he happened to know that you were high and found it funny.

 

I got naked in front my gfs family lol

 

It's close to impossible to do anything dumb while stoned because you become so cautious about everything you do and say that it drives you insane ..

but drunken dumb mistakes that i can't even count..

 

I was on a business trip in California and the reps took us dancing and drinking. The next day just me and one other person went to Disneyland as the guest of one of the reps. We were extremely hung over and my associate had weed. We looked all over Disneyland for a place to smoke. We finally found an alley between two buildings with a picnic table at the end. We were so slick. We would take turns keeping lookout by the picnic table while the toking it up by a sunken set of stairs and a door on one of the buildings. We got done with the joint and were very stoned. That's when we noticed a sign by the door. It just had one word on it. "POLICE".
Yup we idiotic stoners in an effort to find a good place to smoke in Disneyland apparently just blazed up a few feet away from the park police station. priceless. Fortunately no one happened to walk out the door. If they did they would find three very stoned people rolling on the ground helpless with laughter over our world class stupidity.

 

The cashier at BK knew I was baked because he kept saying random numbers when I was counting out change, I was like 'you fuckin bastard' lol

 

I had only 3 dollars in quarters when i was buyin hella munchies at walmart. So i taped them together in groups of 4 because i wanted to make it easier on the cashier. Except that it didnt make it easier because she would have to spend a few minutes getting the fuckin tape off. Man, my stoner self was acting a damn fool that day. Not only because of mildly inconveniencing an innocent cashier but also because those quarters had been sitting in a baggie previously used to hold weed, so they smelled like they were used on a vending machine filled with blunts. Christ.

 

I walked into a police station with a loaded gun........

Lol you know i'm bullshitten....

Actually i searched for 5 minutes for my glasses when I was wearing them.

 

After buying my first complete skate from black Friday deals a couple years ago I decided to test run my new wheels (57mm SpitFires) and it was WAY too fast/frictionless for brand new polyurethane wheels.

So I bomb this easy grade hill down through live traffic and because I had to swerve through lanes to get to the bottom of the hill safely I maneuver into opposing traffic so I can see better. Well I hear this loud HOOONNKK! So I flip the bird without turning around because I'm not trying to fucking DIE while bombing a hill on my skate, and it was my first attempt EVER on this hill even on a skate in general (I was an extreme noob at this time).

I get to the bottom of the hill safely without dying feeling GREAT like adrenaline on max for achieving first hillbomb, then I look back at the car that honked at me who I thought was just an asshole for trying to kill me on my skate...and it was about 6 SUV squad cars on my ass before I knew what the fuck just happened.

My lucky stoned ass was in disbelief but there were a lot of bystanders watching because busy beach area and I didn't get searched and hassled even though I was reeking of the weed and spoon in my pocket.

For shitting your pants, there's MasterCard.