Drug Test

Hey Guys,

I'm a long time lurker of these forums and felt that posting this was my way of saying thank you and calming the minds of my fellow tokers.

A bit of background about myself: I am a 22 y/o male 145 lbs 5'8". I am a pretty thin dude and have a fast metabolism. I have recently been smoking concentrates (dabbing) multiple times daily for a while now, and have overall been a more than once a day smoker for over 2 years now (on and off before). I have a lot of experience in drug testing, as growing up I had a lot of issues with the parents always drug testing me. It is harder for me to pass those than what I am about to tell you guys, my first pre-employment official drug screen.

I had recently passed the interview process for a full-time job and call a call Tuesday this week asking me if I'd like to accept the offer. I accepted and was informed I would have through pre-employment background checks and drug screen. The drug test was to be performed at a Quest Diagnostic by Friday afternoon. I am taking a summer class and could not actually go before Friday. Was there a chance I could be clean and pass the test without getting marked as diluted? No way in hell. There is a regimen I have that I could be pissing clean in 2 weeks (which I did not have). However, my mind was at ease, because I was going to do something I had learned from these very forums, substitute.

I planned on doing a walk-in to quest without an appointment. I collected my materials, which were a small bottle for the urine I was going to use, rubberbands, and handwarmers. I had a friend I was sure did not have any drugs in his system. I got materials and went to his house, had him provide urine, and then rubberbanded 3 hand-warmers to the bottle. I stuffed it into my gooch (I was wearing 2 pairs of boxers) and left for quest. I sat in the waiting room for about 20 minutes, another 5 with the lady who administered the test. I was then given the cup and escorted to a bathroom where the lady showed me the water was turned off and the toilet water was colored. I was actually not searched AT ALL, even though I had read others commonly do get searched. I still recommend keeping it in the gooch area and not a pocket. I actually started unzipping my shorts before the door was closed and the lady was in shock. No way she thought I was cheating. So anyways once the door was closed I unzipped, took out the container (still nice and warm), poured it in like beer (to not make noise or bubbles) and then closed my own container and put it back in my gooch. The biggest concern for me was temperature. The lady took the container, checked the temperature, and checked the box that confirmed the urine was between 90-100 degrees, and I was on my way.

Easiest, low stress experience ever. I don't understand why everyone doesn't substitute. Besides parole drug testing, and perhaps some other things that may be higher security, you are not observed so its easy!!!

Let me know if you guys have another other questions