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Drug Test HELP!

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by weedman13021, Jan 21, 2010.

  1. Hey all i have been an avid smoker for years smoking everyday. Next friday I have a drug test for a new jobI posted for. I bought a maximum ultimate gold detox shake. I found out I had the test today right after I smoked a bowl. Im very nervous, and if I fail i will feel quite humiliated. I have been flushing my system with cranberry juice, water, and green tea. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!
  2. sorry your screwed.......try telling them that you just smoked a bowl and if you can take it later....worked for my friend when he had to take a DT for enlisting in the army
  3. My buddy had smoked on friday and had a piss test monday. And had puked up the detox shake right before the test, so he grabbed bleach and dipped a q-tip and swabbed the inside of his pee hole. Worked for him, since he didn't pop his piss test. It was while he was in the military. So they're quality tests.
  4. if its too diluted it probably won't be valid... let us know how it goes!
  5. what the FUCK??!!! did your friend want caustic burns in his dick?!! well....

    Bleach is mostly water
    We are mostly water
    We are bleach
  6. I've passed 2 or 3 drug tests already. Since you know your test is 1 week away you should stop smoking TODAY. Drink plenty of water to flush your body but the most important is the day of the test... this is what I've done and passed:

    First of all, you should go in for your drug test as late as possible in the day so you have time to prepare.

    There are detox drinks available that contain high levels of creatine and other supplements including Vitamin B to force your pee back to a yellow color. You can pick one up at GNC or just order it online (Ive had luck with both GNC and from

    ***During the day of the test, drink lots of water so you are peeing CLEAR (You do not want to pee clear for the test though because they will disqualify you).

    ***About 2 hours before the test you need to drink the detox formula and I also advise you to take a multivitamin containing Vitamin B such as Centrum to ensure your urine comes out yellow.

    Another thing you can try is buying powdered urine, its a little pricey at $44 but I think its a great investment if its going to help you get this job. Here's one I found for you:

    Good luck and post results whatever you decide to do!

  7. When the military runs their random drug tests, for each company they test a random 15% of the company. If nobody comes up hot in that 15% they throw the rest of the samples out. I only know this because I pissed hot and was a victim. 45days extra duty, 45 days restriction, loss of rank and pay. Worked from 6:30am till midnight for those 45days and was not allowed to leave the post.

    For your buddy it simply could have been that the 15% didn't come up hot and his test was thrown out.

    What I'm really trying to say is don't stick a bleach soaked q-tip up your pecker. It isn't going to do you any good at all.
  8. Thanks jolly stoner that helped tons. Im still freakin out though, but i bought a detox kit and i plan on taking it\. I also picked up a home drug testing kit so i can test myself a day before. Now i have friends that can piss clean for me but i will have to bring it up to the right temperature, and also they have to be the same blood type as me. From what I understand THC is stored in fat cells, im in pretty good shape I only weigh 140 pounds. I know a few friends who have passed drug tests for the military within a week of quitting with no detox just alot of excersize and water. Another thing is these detox drinks can now be detected in drug tests, again im not to sure how sophisticated the place is. I Live in New York and have to go to seneca falls to take it, any fellow New Yorkers been to this place???
  9. If you want to be sure to pass get some synthetic urine warm it up. Put in in your crotch area and put on a couple pairs of tight briefs to hold it in place and keep it warm you can not fail. If they want to watch your dick go but a wizanator it is synthetic urine that come with a plastic penis available in three colors.

    If the dude says "hey that penis looks fake" tell him you dont go in for that type of thing and walk out claiming sexual harrasement. Call a attorney and they may pay you with out passing the piss test.

    All joking aside thats the only sure way next to being clean.

    Piss Testing Bastards! Its time for the senate, congress and the pres to be piss tested. These motherfuckers always keeping the working man down and I resent the hell out of it I am good at my profession and do not appricate the bullshit.

    I have given up on working for others there is no security. I know my retirement destiny is in my own hands. I have had my own business before and I will again because that is my only security. I do not trust society and its minions.

    Good luck Bro Hope you pass let us know. Good vibes to you:wave:

  10. Thanks man, I totally agree with you. I dont see how marijuana is interfering with my will to work what so ever, and im actually pretty offended having to take a drug test primarily because I dont believe its anyones business what I do in my spare time. As far as the senate getting drug tested we all know how corrupted this gov. is and im sure half the senate would be fired if they were tested.
  11. I highly doubt they are going to match your urine with your blood type. You can easily take your friend's clean urine. Go to any sporting goods store and buy one of those glove warmer heat packs. They are little packets that are activated when you shake them and produce heat for 6 to 8 hours. You can wrap one of those around the bottle and hold it in place with a rubber band to keep it warm.

    You want to make sure that it keeps it roughly between 97 and 100 degrees. If the heat pack warms it too much you can separate the heat pack from the bottle using paper towels. You can run a test with plain water in the container and use a thermometer to see how warm that heat pack is keeping the contents.
  12. So did you pass OP?
  13. His test is this friday I think.

  14. No, he had been arrested for having been caught with a pipe on saturday, so first thing when SACO opened on monday was a piss test just for him.

    He said it was the worst burning pain ever, but went away after a while. So, it was worth the pain for a lil while to not pop. I mean, obviously you shouldn't try this if you can avoid it. Only as a last minute emergency...

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