Here I am again. At the top of the mountain, infallible. I have no qualms with the world, just good feelings - completely fearless. I have objectives that are within my grasp, that I will enjoy and bring me closer to where I want to be in the future. But to have gotten here I had to go through the opposite. To suffer, to have no hope - to see absolutely no light, no signs, no God. In that dreadful state, I was worthless and everything that I had built for the future had crumbled. This will come again. Will this be my life for eternity? This falling and rising, this law of rhythms? Is this breakable? Is this law just an illusion - a part of my mind? I once had a different peace, a natural, magic peace - one completely content with the present and God. Not do - just be. I learned many truths as well as the only truth that matters: There is only one. Have I turned my back on you? Or you me? Either way I feel too damn good to let this go to waste - I have shit to do. At this time, this is the only way I know how to live.
You call this thread 'drug induced peace', but don't directly refer to it in the text. How come? Are you saying you can only find peace while under the influence? Real peace only exists in this state?
Well a little background info - I took my adderall (which I am prescribed for) in the library and had a little moment where I reveled in the progress of my schoolwork + fitness regimen. Was making all kinds of gains. As far as the text, I was feeling extra euphoric and decided to just write with no filter or edits. It's hard to describe the peace in that state which is partly why I wrote what I was thinking real time. In terms of real peace only existing in that state, I would say yes at this point in my life. Although a couple months back when I had "awoken", there was a different kind of enlightening peace that was very present oriented where God had provided me everything I needed through these miracles - It was literally an effortless existence with no thoughts of the future/past. It was sooo trippy - Everything meant something. The miracles stopped after some time and I tried to find my way back, but couldn't. I felt that I was abandoned by God or that maybe it was me who had turned my back to God somehow. Either way, I started to feel trashy/stagnant not working on myself and couldn't help but want to plan for the future. These days I'm back to being goal oriented and much more in the "real world".
Yes, the awakened state you describe I can relate to. You got to experience the space, the presence, where there is no past or future. Everything is there, as it has always been, you just see it as if through new eyes. Everything does mean something, and that experience, however long it first lasts for, is the 'eye-opener'. But it never lasts that one. Nothing you could have done. Nothing you didn't do. Nobody to blame or nothing to feel inadequate about. It is as it is. Why? These things come in stages. Parts of you are not yet transformed by this, only the connection is made through which they will be. Now, you still have to do the work, so the lower vibrations must return you to the state you were in order to be able to work on them. You must again make certain choices, be true to yourself, open to what matters to you, without expectation of receiving something from it directly. At different points, more of that reality reveals itself as more and more of who you are comes to the fore. As you become more of who you are so that feeling comes back more and more, until, there is nothing but that as that is where reality lies.
we are never separate from god, but when the feeling of separation occurs there is nothing more that you can do besides experience.. experience it fully the same way you experience the serenity you've had
Peace is not a place we get to...... It is a part of what we experience along the way.... Some need drugs on occasion to find a bit of that..... Some have better luck finding it on their own.... Then there are those with whom it all depends on when you ask..... No matter how one attains it.....it was never ment to be a permanent state in this life.....
Sorry, inna hurry, didnt read the thread so this may be off topic.. but I still feel its worth saying..The peace you get from drugs is very short lived and not without consequence.. if you don't come to some self realization while high then that high was a waste, if what youre trying to get outta it is self improvement.. I can say for sure, drugs gave me a sense of peace and relaxation.. until those drugs ran out .. then all those good feelings had to compensated by bad ones.. it chemically imbalances your brain.. use in moderation, and use with a purpose.. Off to NA now hahaEdit: damn I really wish I woulda read the initial post real quick before posting.. good post man.. yes.. if I interpreted it right, that is what your life will be, an endless roller coaster with the lows getting infinitely lower, while the highs even out.. get help homie.. for real.. its a rough road
Most of life is spent searching and longing for peace, and only tasting it in very small doses. Like happiness I guess; and like happiness true peace I think you attain when you're older, able to look back at all your actions, triumphs, failures, all of the pain of your life, the pain of the life around us, recognize and bathe the duality of beauty existing alongside all of that, and be completely accepting and content with all of it, whatever and whoever you are. To be at a point where you are immovable, where pain isn't something to be obsessed over but accepted as a natural tool for learning and growth, accepting of what isn't in your control and completely actualized in what is under your control. Something like that anyways