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Drop kick me Jesus, thru the goalposts of life!

Discussion in 'Seasoned Tokers' started by smokinokie, Aug 2, 2001.

  1. Being the proud owner of a large sack of dog food, commonly referred to as a horse, who entered his geriatric years about the same time Reagan took office the first time, I'm thinking he's got to be going to horsey heaven pretty soon.

    Three times before I've worked up a good grieve, cause I'm sure he dyin', he gets better and tears down some fence to celebrate!

    We were informed by the vet that he was going to have a bad foot the rest of his life, and could'nt ever go back out to pasture. We had to keep him penned up only hay and sweetfeed. Too much$$$ to do that. The wife mentioned taking him to the feedlot and making back some of the money he'd cost us. But being the softies we are, we could'nt do it! He'd carried the whole family many a mile in his younger years.

    So we decided to keep him penned up until he ran out of hay, then turn him out to pasture anyway, and when he got hobbled bad we'd have him put down.

    Last night was the last of the hay.

    So, once again I headed to the pasture thinking "well, I give him 2 days and we'll have to put him down."

    With a little black cloud hanging over my shoulder, I went to say goodbye to the ol' nag. After I said bye to the wife I headed to the pasture. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    Sorry.

    As I got to the pasture I heard something big moving thru the deep grass. Just as I was noticing the shattered gate, the horse emerged from the weeds! Not only that but he managed a few crow hops, followed by a twisting kick. I think I will rename this horse Methusula, I don't know if I spelled that right, but I'm talkin bout the ol' man in the bible. This animal is going to live forever and put me in the poor house or the asylum, I'm not sure which.

    Thanx for letting me hang out and ramble!
     
  2. wow, what a will to live.
     
  3. In the big book of Big Poppa Puff horse is defined as an expensive way of turning hay into shit. But I'm glad to see you wouldn't turn your horse into the old glue factory. I can't believe that your wife even considered that. It's usually the women folk on the ranch that want to keep all the animals and not sell them off.

    Can I interest you in some old fashioned farm cats? They would make good pets for your little girls.

    Has been in hot in Oklahoma lately?
     
  4. okie, BPP, critter.....my dudes! :)

    The other site is going down more than a discount hooker! It's great to see ya'll here! Are any of the dudettes (i.e., women) around here. They add such a nice feminine touch to the discourse. :D
     
  5. Afternoon gentlemen!

    I forget the exact term the vet used for his dilemma but basically he's walking on his coffin bone, kinda like walking on his heel on the front passsenger side. Lemme talk to the ol' lady, who's the true horseman of the family, and I can give ya better description. He's always had a bad problem with "grass foot" in the spring. I've twice had to go down and literally stand him back on his feet. I think it's cause the dumbshit eats himself into a stupor when the fescue comes up!

    Nobody was more shocked than I when the wifey mentioned the feedlot! It was very unlike her! I told her I supported her in whatever she decided, technically it's her horse, til the shit hits the fan!

    I was steeling myself to do it, worked my guts up for 2 days. Then one evening during our after chores doobie down at barn, she started up with the "they'll probably whip him" and "he's gonna be so scared up until the end" shit, that there was no way I could do that to him! Even though he's been an expensive pain in the ass at times, he's also been my smokin buddy for a long time. Horses make the best smokin buddies, cept for maybe dogs.

    Gettin a taste of your humidity up here to go along with a 103 degrees. Hot ain't the word for it. Hell is a little closer to nailing it on the head!

    Oh yeah, NO MORE CATS!
    I've got the last of the originals from when we moved here 16 yrs. ago. Got tired of picking them up outta the drag strip that they call a road out in front of the place.


    Hey ya Bilray! Ya ol' hustler! Just get thru the door and start huntin for women! I've seen Justy here and Stony too I think!

    [ August 02, 2001: Message edited by: smokinokie ]
     
  6. when i was a kid i had a mean pony,she even got meaner with age. charging and biting was her speciality---this whole post makes me glad she lived at my grandparents house :)
    anyhow goodluck smokinokie, dude
     
  7. DAMN YOU CRITTER!

    i was reading that thinking, "oh smokies back? excellent. we got teh whole gang again"

    then i saw aeroblug and it still didnt twig.
    it only twigged when i had read your post and i decided to look at the dates (ic when smokie edited his second post). :(

    u had my hopes up then.
     
  8. I miss Smokies stories as well... He can tell them like no other!
     
  9. I miss aero, too.
     

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