let me start off by saying that i do love my gf of three years, even though this story may sound like i dont. when we first met, i was different. i was only 17 and i was much less conscious than I am now. i only did weed at the time. when i went to college a year later, i did acid and shrooms....def. changed me (for the better i would say). this change however has kind of caused a rift in my relationship with my gf, because i feel like our interests are so much different. for example, on an acid trip, I realized that music was what I was living for. well my gf doesn't even like the music i make (she mainly listens to pop). maybe im just being self-centered and looking for someone to stroke my ego, but i just wish i had a girl that can appreciate what i do...especially when it is basically my whole life. the most we will ever talk about my music is she will ask "how was writing..." (i know she isnt interested, seems like she asks because its sort of her duty) and i just say "fine." i also have grown to....dislike religion, and she is catholic and says that she wants to raise her kids up in church.....personally, im not havin that so i told her. she knows this, and this would easily break us up because thats something im not budging with, and she says neither is she. also I feel like i cant say a lot of my thoughts to her without offending her somehow. i had to point out to her that she was materialistic, and some things i just dont know how to say without offending her and her religion so i just bite my tongue. so now every night when i close my eyes, i think of the ideal psychedelic lady named Lucy who brings wondrous visions to my dreams.
Is she open to trying new substances? Try and make a romantic day end with you two having a trip together. The common experience will bond you together. Take the time to explain to her, while tripping, how you now view the world. You might open up a new perspective she never saw.
dude relationships arent always forever.... the fact that you two disagree on religion and how you want to raise your children is enough to see that you wont be together forever.... i'd find your psychedelic girl that visits you in your dreams, man... im sure she's an awesome girl, but sounds a little shallow/valley girl-ish...
well she has smoked weed with me once and thats it.....she doesnt want to do it again. i've tried convincing her to do lsd (without pressuring her) and she says she will think about it ...i know she has no intention on doing it. i've tried explaining it to her and told her that words do no good in explaining it, she just has to do it and see for herself. shes not really shallow.....i just think we are on different pages. i know that she loves me for who i am, but i feel like us not having the same interests makes the relationship a lot worse
While the girl I am seeing isn't really my girlfriend, we both enjoy spending time together and what not. Her views on religion (she is Catholic) are very different from mine (combination of Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism) -- but that's a different story. Because of this difference we have, we enjoy talking about our differences based on religion and the like. I got her smoking with me (I popped her smoking cherry) -- since then our relationship has grown much stronger. When we're high we are both on the same page. Listening to some relaxed jams and burning some incense bring us closer together. When we're not smoking and sober, we remember the times we spent together on a different level of existence. That being said, try getting her to smoke again. You would be surprised how much it really opens up for the two of you. While she may "not be the one" - enjoy her as your girlfriend for now. At the age of 21 or 22, you still have yet to fully develop as an individual (as you can tell) and she has yet to fully develop as well. I'm in the same boat right now. I'm 21 and I haven't the slightest clue: a) when I'm going to get married, b) to what type of girl, c) under what form of religion (seeing as I hate organized religion), and d) at what age. I like the girl I am with now (not my girlfriend, though) she and I compliment each other. We have our differences but we both have the same interests and common ground. Crazy as it sounds, see how it goes within the next few years. You're young, settling down will not happen at this age.
yea the thing is im not the one thinking about settling down....SHE is the one talking about getting married and all. and you are right...even if we do break up, i find that those 3 years wouldnt be a waste, but an experience. its just that she is too tied up with the whole getting married/having a family, working the 9-5 and just the common american lifestyle i guess....when im counter culture. i would smoke with her again, but i feel like it takes quite some time for people to learn how to use the herb correctly, or see the empowering benefits you can get from it. however, if she dropped then i feel like she would see exactly where im coming from...which i doubt she will do.
Most def. But you have to try. My brother is in a similar situation. (He's 19, she's 17) -- he wants to smoke and drink with her as a social thing. Most of the time they are just sitting around watching TV and doing fuck all with their night. Basically, you have to talk to her. Tell her how you feel. As lame as it sounds -- honesty is the best policy in this regard. Tell her that you feel as if it would bring the two of you back together like the 'good ole' days..' Good luck bro.
yea i have told her that, and the thing is I think that she is thinking "so we need to do a drug together in order to boost our relationship?" which is why i didnt want to pressure her with it. i dont know.......im gonna ask her about the lsd again soon but i dont think she will give in, we'll see
The way I described it to the girl I am seeing now is the opening and enlightening of your mind, body, and soul. It's the most relaxing and spacious feeling you can possibly come to terms with. Then I told her about the lack of hangovers and crappy feeling associated with alcohol. After awhile she liked what I had to say, trusted me enough, and then smoked with me. It can be hard since you're already together but it will work in the long run.
i wouldnt its gonna annoy her....... your probably right, shes most likely thinking "so we need to do a drug together in order to boost our relationship?" and you buggin her about it isnt gonna help matters
well i asked her about it again today and she seemed like she wanted to do it and she said that she was trying to find the right day (factoring in when her parents wouldnt be home etc.) but i dont know if she is serious or not.....its hard to tell. hip hop
I feel you dude. My girlfriend is an awesome person overall, she's kind and caring, understanding, totally cool with smoking, doesn't get bent out of shape over stupid things, but I feel like I'm just treading water in the relationship. First off, I can't carry an intelligent conversation with her, I'll lose her within 30 seconds and just get a blank stare followed by a "what?" It's pretty frustrating when I'm out with a group of friends with her and she does or says something just completely retarded, and then all my friends just look at me like "really?" The other thing that bothers me to no end is the way she views life. When she talks about life, it's as if she's living in a Disney dreamworld where everything works out perfectly, people don't have their own agendas, and everything is just hunky-dory. I don't get how someone can be 18 and still so naive toward life. 11 months in and I'm feeling this way, and I don't know what I should do about it. I hate hurting people, and I would hate to break her heart which is exactly what will happen if I break it off. Not trying to thread jack you, I guess I'm just getting some things off my chest. Point is, I get what you're saying and it's a shitty situation. Toke on.
not at all bro. but yea, i've been with my girl for THREE years and it just kills me thinking how much i would hurt her if i broke it off. i try to have intelligent conversations with my girl, but most of the time its like she doesnt seem interested and she is only carrying the convo for the sake of me, and I do most of the talking. i just feel like i have to suppress a lot of my thoughts to her, and thats not what i want with my significant other.....im sure you probably feel the same way.
Man i'm in a very similar situation right now. My girl knows i smoke but doesn't necessarily approve (even tho she drinks more then i smoke). Lately i've just realized that we're not on the same page. I'm 23 and she's 21 and she just has some growing up to do. I have a million different hobbies and interests. I enjoy school and learning new things and having new experiences and she likes none of those things. She takes care of her responsibilities (college, work etc) and leaves no time for anything else other than her bullshit personal life. Going to bars and her social life seems to be her only interests and i'm starting to realize that it's just not enough for me. I've tried to get her to smoke or do E together but she's just not interested due to her rediculous and hypocritical views on drugs. I know she's not "the one" and i've known that for a while but now its to the point where i dont want to be with her anymore. She doesn't challenge me and im bored. It sucks tho cause i do love her but she's just in a different place than me right now.
Heh looks like a few of us are in the same boat. I feel you Johnson when you say you're treading water! Man that hit it right on the head. Exactly how i feel.
I was/am but not as far at all Its about smoking though not even doing anything else just smoking the herb Only six months thouh, It kind of ended up being I chose the other girl but not exactly how I thought it would end
Weed is an interest. Stoners like smoking, trying new strains, buying pipes and bongs, adding some interesting stuff to their stoner collection. It can become a hobby. Maybe if she sees it like that she'll be curious about how the whole lifestyle works. Take her shopping for a pipe. Have her pick one out. Have her chill with your friends if she doesn't mind. Unless she stops her view of a "relationship enhancer because I need drugs" and sees it as "easy button to make everything more awesome" i don't think she'll completely understand. I really like when couples can share something so intimate as weed. Which reminds me..... you should convince her to smoke one with you and then have sex. That's another way to get her totally into smoking. Hehe and you get a little something out of that too. =p I don't know if that's your thing.
we've actually done that and she LOVED the high sex. the thing is though, it seems that she doesnt want to do it on the regular. she has only smoked with me once and i think that she just wanted to do it to try it, not to pick up a new "habit" if you will....i dont know, i honestly think that if she tried acid then it would be better than smoking weed again, which is what im striving for.